Wednesday, May 1, 2013

SOOO Not Perfect..

I should be doing a cover letter (or more!) now, but to be honest, I am in a bit of a funk. I had wanted to do a post on not being the perfect couple, having the perfect life, etc, before today, and when hubby came home and said that by the time we put money on even just a few of our bills, we barely have money for rent, I thought.."what a great day to write about this"!

First off, I know we are blessed beyond belief. We have a roof over our heads, we are pretty healthy, our car semi works, and God ALWAYS gives us what we need, and sometimes what we want, and compared to a lot of people, we were very well off, and I am grateful.

But I also know that our lives (compared to others) are not perfect. We live in a one bedroom apartment (that we rent), and because Hubs likes to experiement, well, we have JUNK all over our house. Our Kitty throws up, so we have MANY carpet stains. I have long since stopped having people over, as I am embarassed to have anyone see our place (even if it is clean). We don't even have a laundry room (or, for that matter, a washer/dryer!) We have to pay for that in our complex. At least it is right next door to us.

I am not thin (or even fit), and we don't have the best fashion sense at times. Our bed is a second hand one handed down from our neighbours (granted, our mattress is new), and other than the headboard (which I do like) is not the greatest bed in the world.  I DO try to buy cute little things that I see in stores, so I can put them up on our walls, or an extra fun pillow here, or I have bought new bedding. Hubby is sick (IBS, back, etc) a lot of the time, which causes him (and sometimes both of us) to miss out on family/church functions.

Also, because hubby suffers from ailments, and he has a disability (his words, not mine), he doesn't feel like he can have a full time job, so although he does work, what he makes in a month is what most people make in week (or at least two weeks). Even when I was working, it was tough. Although I am working part time (more on that in my 'update' post tomorrow), I haven't gotten paid yet, and I won't be working many hours.

We don't have children, so we don't have any cute stories and pictures to share. I don't feel comfortable with putting Bebops and Rosebud's pictures (at least not full-faced) on here, since they are not mine, and this is an open blog. However, I DO share stories, so I guess that is a plus, right? We can't medically have them, and we are not able to adopt, either, which makes me sad (neither are we in the position to),

We do manage to get out and do things, but we don't have a lot of friends who we hang out with, so we are not busy every weekend with family or even friend outings. We do somehow manage to do a couple of trips (not including going to my parents') a year, but even going to my parents' place requires us to figure out if we have enough money for gas:( We don't go out for nice suppers much, and we don't do a lot of things for dates that require money (we hardly ever go to a movie, for instance).

We are certainly not the best Christians, either. I don't wake up at 5 am and spend an hour with God. Neither of us are involved in our church much (although that might change this summer, and we have in the past).

That is the one thing I DON'T like about reading other blogs; seeing how "perfect" they are (or look). I know we shouldn't compare ourselves to others, but it is hard not to. I see people's perfect lives, and I get not so much jealous, but sad. I was looking on someone's blog just now, and they were complaing about their master bedroom, and how it was blah. There were pictures, and let me tell you, that, yes, although the colour was a bit blah, the bedroom was amazing! I would DIE for a room like that!!! It even has the bed I want:)

Don't even get me started on Pinterest:) I LOVE it, but even then, I get a little sad, and wished I was able to do some of the stuff that I see and pin.

Yes, I know there are things I can do to try improve our place (like perhaps clean?? Take down our mini-Christmas tree/lights/snow display??), but I don't even want to at times. I don't have the energy. Maybe if we owned it?

I know we are to count our blessings, and I KNOW that we will be ok, but it just stressed me out to end...:( I know I need to be content with how things are, and improve my life when I can, which was why I went to school, so I can get a better job, and hopefully have more $$ coming in!!! (See, I know how it works!!)

Well, enough depressed thoughts for now..I will write a (hopefully) lighter post tomorrow, with the update on my wknd, and my work, etc.

Happy Wednesday!

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