Monday, December 20, 2010

Busy Weekend

Well, it is late, and I should be in bed, but I thought I would quickly (?) blog about the last few days.

First, on Wednesday, we went to my genetsists appointment at RIH. They come here about 2-3 times a year, and they had a cancellation, so we were able to get in. As far as having children goes, they don't seem to think that there should be a problem. They gave me some blood work to do, and I was only able to have have part of it done, so I will get the rest done this week. It takes about 8 weeks to get the results. I was able to get my CF testing done, too. As far as having a child of ours having Turners' Syndrome, she didn't think I would pass it on to the baby, so I am very happy about that. I am not sure that I mentioned this b4, but there is an "x" missing from one of my chromosones. Odd, hey?

On Thursday, the Christmas spirit finally arrived..so I made some cookies, the first of about 10 dozen (types). Yay! I am bringing some home to my family, as well as to our neighbours, and to our pastoral staff.

Friday, we went to the neurologists appointment, only to discover that he didn't have my LP results! The hospital wouldn't send them to him. I was not impressed. I am hoping that I can see my Family Dr. this week or next to get the results.

I think our neighbours are moving..this would make me happy! They have actually been more quiet lately..so that also makes me happy.

We have been given some extra gifts, so we have gone shopping for some extra fun things, and some baking ingredients.

Friday evening was my work Christmas party. I dragged Anker out, and we actually enjoyed ourselves. It was at the Keg, and the food was very good! We even came home with some chocolates:) Friday evening, I started on some Christmas cards, and we watched the last half of a cute Christmas movie on TV.

Saturday, I had a nice long chat with a good friend, and then I started baking more cookies, and I went to a movie with my next door neighbour. It wasn't the greatest movie, but it was ok. Came home and made even more cookies, and got ready for a party at my friends house across town. That was when it started to snow. Lovely. Actually, it was nice and pretty, just not great for driving. The party was fun, and we had lots of yummy food, and laughter, while some Christmas classics droned on in the background. Came home in worse road conditions...I hate driving in the snow. I also found a pack of "Dutch Blitz" cards laying around, and asked if anyone wanted to play. I hadn't played that game in probably 4 or 5 years. It's a good thing my heart is in (fairly) good shape, b/c man, was that game intense!

Sunday, a lovely church service, and then out to lunch with friends. Came home and relaxed, even though there were dishes to be done. Watched "The Dawn Treader" Sunday night, complete with popcorn and pop. (We got that as a Christmas gift)It was actually a good movie, and I don't usually like fantasy.

I made shortbread for the FIRST TIME EVER today, and it turned out really good! I am not a HUGE shortbead person, but I like it once in awhile. I used my Uncle's mom's recipe (not my gramma, in case you were wondering), and I will definitely use it again. I even salvaged the second batch when I accidently melted the butter..oops!

I make a much better candy cane hot chocolate that Tim Hortons:)

Ok..I was just about to close, when I wondered if I had written about last wknd, and I had not..soo..here goes..

Just the highlights..
I attended "Uncle Phil's Diner", our Christmas concert/play last Friday (10th). It was good, but I missed Anker being in it. I also ran errands, and I had coffee with my friend before the play.

Saturday, I just sat and enjoyed our tree, while our fake fireplace played on the DVD/TV, and Christmas music played. I read Christmas magazines, and i had yummy hot chocolate.

A friends mom invited me for coffee at Starbucks..she even paid..triple yum! I just hung out on Saturday night...

Sunday, I went to church alone, and grabbed Mcd's w/ some friends. Watched "Amazing Race" in the evening, and I am very glad the Doctors won! I can't wait until Feb. 20..the all stars!

Tuesday, I went to a friends house for brunch with some friends...yummy BLT's w/ homemade bread, and decorated shortbead cookies for dessert:) YUMMY!

Well, that's about all for now....I am about to head to bed...I was thinking yesterday that I do feel extremely blessed....

I will try to blog at least once more before Christmas...maybe..lol

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Thirty Days of Truth, Days 25 and 26

Day 25 The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

I fully believe the reason that I am alive today is that God healed me when I was born! I am sure that most of you know that I was born with various medical problems, and that I should have died..if not at birth, then shortly after. I got my records from when I was born, and it so amazing what all I went through.

But, on another note, I think I am alive today the same as anyone else is..by the grace of God..his protection, etc.



Day 26 Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

I have thought of giving up on life once in my life (well, "once" meaning in a span of a few months). I had some depression awhile back, and I did consider (although I don't think I was really serious about it) taking my life. I even was going through my meds, and figuring out what would go "best". Ok..sick, I know..and not very Christmas-like. I think mainly, it was because I just didn't know where to turn. I hated that I was single, and I really didn't have a life..not a lot of friends, and certainly no b/f at the time, and no real career. But that wasn't why I was in a depression. (Although I think that was a tiny part of it) I just felt alone, and just general doom. I really don't even know why I did have depression...it just happened. Thankfully, that major part of it didn't last long. Part of the reason that I didn't give up, was my sister. I couldn't imagine what my parents would/how (to) tell her that her older sister whom she looked up to (ok, I am tooting my own horn here, but I am sure she does!), took her own life. I decided that I would just stick it out:) I have had several times where I wanted to give up (not suicide so much, as just not wanting to get up the next morning, etc) more recently, but I realise that God has me here for a reason:)


I will do a medical/life post on us this wknd, but I was re-reading my last post, I had a typo..I took Anker to the hospital on Tuesday..not "the day" as I had typed.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Where are you, Christmas?

I don't know what it is this year, but I just can't get into the Christmas Spirit. I really could just skip it, and be ok with it. I was reading a blog, and there was a list that they had already done, and it made me ill, just thinking about it (and she has two small children), and a list of the things that they wanted to do. Still made me ill. I have done things to try and make me feel Christmas-y. I have walked through malls, glistening with Christmas lights (that was very nice, I must admit) I had Starbucks' and T.H's Christmas drinks (in Christmas cups, mind you). I have even had egg nog. I have put up our tree, even decorated around here a bit. I have attended two Christmas Concerts...I have even watched a Christmas movie or two..and I still feel down. I am still trying to sort it all out...sigh.

Anker and I have both been sick. I am getting over mine, and he is still sick:( He actually had to bow out of the Christmas play (the one I went to tonight), b/c he is just so run down and still sick. I hope he gets better before Christmas. I actually took him to the hospital the day, as he was having chest pain. They took blood work, ECG, and an X-Ray, and they said that it was just his cardiac wall being inflammed..nice. He is still having pains. A hot water bottle seems to help him with the pain, along with some meds.

I went to Vancouver Sun/Mon. It was a short, expensive, but nice trip. I got in around 3, and found my B&B. It is a cute little place, just a few blocks from VGH. I would definitely stay there again. I was going to go out and have dinner, but I didn't want to go out in the dark, and since I was paying for the room, I thought I might as well, enjoy it. I ordered Chinese food, and it was really good:) (I even brought some home!!) I enjoyed having the TV to myself. I slept fairly well. I was thinking on the way down (I took the bus), that I think that was the first time that I had ever had a hotel room alone (not including being with the family, and sharing an ajoining room with my sister). After a nice breakfast, and packing up, I wandered around a bit (I had a few hours to kill), and it surprisingly went really fast. I wandered around the mall, and enjoyed a Starbucks (yes, I have to have one every time I am in Vancouver). So, the appointment:) I saw Dr. Miller (not Dr. Ehlin, as I thought), and she has ordered me an u/s for Jan, to see if the cyst has grown, or is even still there. She couldn't feel it, but that doesn't really mean anything. I wasn't there that long, and was done (after a blood test) at about 4. After getting my bags at the B&B, and took a taxi to the Bus Depot, and ate my supper of left over Chinese food, and french fries. The trip home went well. I slept a bit, as I didn't feel like even reading, or watching a movie.

This week has been ok. Just really down, and I am trying to figure it out.

Last weekend, Anker and I went to the TVCO at our church. I put on the dress that I had worn to J's wedding 2 yrs ago, and I discovered that it was too big!! I wore it anyway.

I really hope our neighbours get evicted. That would be the best Christmas present.

I plan on just being home and cleaning up. I may read and start on some Christmas cards. We have gotten a few this year.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Thirty Days of Truth, Days 21, 22, 23 &24

Day 21 (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

To be honest, I really don't get this question...I mean..what do they mean "what do you do"? LOL..Ok..I JUST re-read this question...I thought it meant if BOTH of us were in an accident..ok. Well, I would probably feel really bad, and probably go and visit them (if I could), or pray really hard for forgiveness, and I would probably feel guilty that we had the fight in the first place.

Day 22 Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

I wish I hadn't compromised on my morals. This is something that I will always wish that I hadn't done.


Day 23 Something you wish you had done in your life.

I wish I had done more schooling. Gotten more a "career". I kept putting this off, mainly because 1) I didn't REALLY know what I wanted to do (I still don't), and 2) It is so hard to get into secondary education, and I just kept thinking that I wouldn't get in, or I was just too lazy. But now, looking back I wish I had gone further in my schooling. I did take an MOA course, but for the most part, it really didn't get me anywhere..and now, most people don't even have to take a course! Go, figure!! I am not sure if I want to take anymore schooling, as I don't really know what I want to be when I grow up!!


Day 24 Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)

Well, I don't really have a playlist..there are a lot of songs that I like...For Anker and I...

Why don't we Just Dance
Josh Turner

Okay...I can't think of any right now..and I am sick..lol.

I am off to Vancouver tomorrow to see an oncologist for my cyst. We put the tree and lights up yesterday, but that is as far as we got. I am sick with a cold, and I don't have the energy to do anymore...however, I think I will do bit more today, along with getting ready. I feel blah..but I did sleep well last night. Anker is now sick, too:( Double blah...Well, that is all for now...yes, I know this makes me not very smart (re: 30 days), but I just don't have the head space to elaborate:)

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Thirty Days of Truth, Days 17,18,19 &20

I am getting down to the wire, people!!

Day 17 A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

Well, obviously The Bible has been the most influential book I have read. As far as others? I really loved Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. In my opinion, every one should read it, and every man should read it twice. It's the "modern" story of Gomar, set in in th e 1800's (I think..it's been awhile), and it's sooo good!!! It's definitely a book that I want to own.


Day 18 Your views on gay marriage.

Please don't hate me, and I hope I don't lose any friends over this, but..it's wrong. Plain and simple, and I don't understand why other Christians don't feel the same way. Did God create two men? No, he created man and woman. That being said, however, I don't believe that we should be gay bashers, and love them, but don't encourage their life style.

Day 19 What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?

Really, this should be an entire post, to show how smart I am..but for the sake of time, I will keep it short. I don't believe in religion. I believe in a relationship with Jesus. It's like having a relationship with anyone else in your life. I don't know where I'd be (or some other people in my life) if Jesus wasn't in my life. I fully believed that God healed me when I was a baby, and that He healed me this spring. Ok..off topic a bit..sorry...I think everyone needs something to believe in. Take Christmas..even the most hard-hearted Atheist celebrates it (ok, I don't know that for sure...but I am sure that they do). Why? Because they want something to believe in. I think some religions, are just pure evil...they promote plural marriages, abuse, honor-killings, etc. So, I don't (obviously) agree with those. Some people think that religion is a crutch, something to lean on. Those are probably some of the same people that HAVE to look at their horoscope every day, and that HAVE to have a psychic reading..THAT is a crutch, and it's not real (or it is "real", just wrong). God, not religion has a place in this life, most definitely.


Day 20 Your views on drugs and alcohol.

You mean the good drugs? Bring 'em on! Oh..you are talking about nasty drugs? Right..I wish they didn't exsist. They have torn people's lives and families apart. Same with alcohol. I don't really drink. We were raised in a non-drinking home (I don't think my parents have even drank wine..ever), and of course, we never did drugs. Anker and I rarely drink. It's too expensive, and I would rather have iced tea, or Coke! But, taken in moderation, I really don't have a problem "Moderation" being only about a drink or two. Like drugs, alcohol can (and does) ruin families, which is just so sad. Also, when drugs and alcohol are consumed people do dumb stuff. Like last weekend, for example. Our neigbours had a party, they drank, and they ran around doing stupid stuff..damaging property, and trespassing. People become beligerant, and sleep around, women get raped, people get murdered. It's not a good thing....drugs and alcohol:( Just say NO!!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Thirty Days of Truth, Days 13, 14, 15, & 16

Okay, so time is really of the essense, here, and I would really like to just get on with blogging about more important things..like the weather (snowy) and Christmas (I can't really seem to get in the spirit yet).

I woke up with a cold this morning. Yesterday, one of my pills didn't go down properly, and it made a scratch in my throat..and this morning, I woke up with a cold!

This weekend is going to be busy! Looking forward to it, though!

Day 13...A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
I really don't have a band or an artist that has gotten me through some tough times..I DID, however, really enjoy the "Shout to the Lord" album when I was in the hospital in 1996. This last time, I enjoyed several songs that my SIL put on an MP3 Player for me.

Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)

I really don't have a hero that has let me down...maybe Sandi Patty when she got her divorce years ago..I really loved her..she was my favourite artist. I really loved her music, and I had all her albums. I remember being really sad when she got her divorce.

Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

Well, probably since I know have one...a Car! I didn't have a car until I got married. I love having one. I used the bus and my own two feet for YEARS!! Now, that I have one, I don't think I could live with out it!!

Oh..and I guess my health...since well, when you don't have your health, you really aren't living!! Trust me..it's much better when you have your health!!


Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.

This one's easy. My PCOS. I hate it..it's very frustrating...I never know when my body is going to do something...or what it's going to do!

Monday, November 29, 2010

Days 11 and 12, and an Update!

Day 11 .....Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

I would have to say my smile. A lot of people (ok, mainly family) have complimented me on my smile. I don't know what else to say, because if I say anything more, it will sound like I am bragging! Anyway...I actually like it, too (the smile, not the bragging!), so I thought I would put it in for this "Truth".


Day 12 ...Something you never get compliments on.

I don't know if this really counts, or not..but I thought about it, and I think I do very well at..it is living with less than (maybe) I want or need. I don't know how else to word it. I don't like to say "going without", b/c I really (at least most of the time!!) don't feel that I go "without". I guess what I mean is..I don't have the newest things. We don't even have a new TV, we don't have a Blue-Ray, nice furniture, etc. We never go on nice vacations (or even a night away...or if we do, we stay at people's places), etc. I know of several people in my life that couldn't live the way I do. I have lived (before I was married) in very small places, above people that would smoke weed, you get the idea. Most of the time, I am ok with the way we live. Sometimes, it gets me down, but then I read something, or realize that everything is ok!!

An Update:

So..I really need to update...

Last weekend, I met up w/ my SIL, K, and we saw the movie "Morning Glory". It was a cute movie. I am not sure that I would run out and buy it, but it was cute. We had a nice visit over tea and chips for over an hour.

Last Saturday (not this last one, but the before that..the 20th, I think??), was a pretty relaxing one. It snowed, so we both stayed in. We had popcorn and hot chocolate, and we watched "Horton Hears a Who" on Netflix. Just hung out in the evening. I think we ordered Chinese food, and watched another movie.

Not quite sure what I did Sunday. I think I ran out and did some errands.

This past week has been ok. I saw my internist, and nothing new to report. Just everything is good. My hemoglobin, which we were worried, b/c it was high, is now back to normal. Anker and I went out and ran some errands, and had a nice afternoon. Wednesday, I met my mom, who was in town for a few days, and did some boot shopping, and I ended up buying her gift (we draw names every year). She said she was looking for some boots, so I just decided to buy them, which she was happy about!! Not sure what I did Thursday..I am sure something exciting!! I think Anker and I ran some more errands. It snowed a lot, so Anker drove me to and from work. On Friday, I had my LP. I was VERY worried about it, but thankfully, there wasn't much time worry, since they only called me last Monday to tell me that they had a spot on Friday. It all went very well, and I only had a mild headache for about 2 minutes. They said I could stay for an hour, which helped. Anker was very good to me:) That night, our neighbours had a party, which turned bad. We had to call the cops twice, plus more people in our block called them..so I don't know how many times they were actually called. I hope they move soon. They say they are..we'll see. Sunday was church, and I had to run an errand, and came home and just hung out. Anker didn't feel well for some of it.

That's it for now. I am probably heading to Vancouver this Sunday for a day or two. Seeing the oncologist, so I am anxious (both good and bad) to hear what he says.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Thirty Days of Truth, Days 9 and 10

I am going to start doubling up on these, since it is nearing December, and I have have other thing to write about..ok, not really, but this is taken WAY too long...

Day 09 Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

Probably most of my friends that have drifted, are all now on Facebook. I have one friend, from Calgary, who used to be a really good friend..you know, those ones who would spend hours w/ you on the phone. We were both single at the time, so we would complain on how we hated our single life, etc. Sadly, there were also times where we would go through months where we didn't talk. This was mainly on her part. Even though she is on FB, we don't talk much. I find this really sad:(

I am also sad because one of my best friends has drifted. It's really no ones fault. She is just very bush with work, and her family. I would love to talk w/ her about once a week, but she is very busy, and with me working 4 nights a week, well, it's hard to connect. But, we are still good friends, and we may end up going on a girls weekend maybe in the spring??

Speaking of friends...I really need a girls night..I don' t have a lot of friends right now that I talk do on a daily basis. It's sad, but it's just life right now:( I DO have friends..and I guess it's partly my fault..I need to reach out more, I guess...Ok..on to day 1o!

Day 10 Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

This is kind of a hard question, because all the people that I wish I didn't know, or who I need to let go, are either let go, or just not involved in my life!! Probably me ex-boyfriend would fall into that last category (who I wish I didn't know). Thankfully, he is not in my life anymore, so that is not an issue. There are some people on Facebook who I should probably let go, but I still keep them on. Why?? I have no clue!! Most of these are people that I know through friends, or people who I haven't met, but I add on. I am finding it looking at friends' babies' these days. Maybe I should delete my "mom" friends who I barely know!! It's a good thought, I guess. I don't know why I hang on to these people. I often wonder...lol

Just a quick note re: my health. I had my LP on Friday, and it went quite well. Just a bit of a headache, and I was a bit "woozy" for a few hours. Thank you to all who prayed for me!!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Thirty Days of Truth, Day 8

Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like s**t.

I have started this post twice, and each time, I have a different answer....There are probably a few people that have made my life hell.

To start off with, there are a few bosses, one Dr. in Regina who I worked with, and a few in Calgary that were so bad, I really should have reported them! They were down right abusive and mean, and rude (although, w/ one of my bosses, we also did have some fun times together, too. She was probably the most social bosses that I had..we'd go out to dinner a lot..but yah, definitely mean). They would be your friend one day, then rude to you the next. They were all at Doctors' offices! The Doctor in Regina would yell at me in front of patients! I don't know why I stuck it out. I would cry nearly every day at these jobs..yes every day. I wouldn't go to church sometimes, b/c I didn't want to be around "happy/perfect" people. I was in a depression, b/c I hated my work life!! Thankfully, God intervened, and I was laid off from one job, and I ended up quitting my other job, and my last job I was fired. I really think that these ladies (and one male Doctor in Calgary) really felt that it was their need or calling to make my life miserable nearly every working day. Somehow, I stuck it out, and I think it in the end, it made me a stronger person.

I also had a "landlady" was a real byatch! It was wen I was first getting settled in Kamloops, and I was looking for a place to live. She said she owned the house, and she said she was a Christian..blah, blah, blah...well, fast forward about 2 months later... She locked me out of the house, b/c I ratted on her to the real land lady for something (a big long story, that I won't get in to) Then, she packed my stuff, and decided to take a few things for herself! She stole a diary of mine, a coat, movies, cd's, and my Daughter's pride ring my parents got for me:( We even tried to go to court, but they wouldn't listen to either of us, and she won! GRR! She also took money from my parents (who had helped me pay for rent, etc), and also the Damage Deposit..anyway..that was the last time I swore I would ever live w/ anyone again (except for maybe a relative, or of course, my husband).

Sunday, November 21, 2010

So Tired....

I didn't blog yesterday, mainly b/c I just didn't want to..lol. I thought I would take a break in the Thirty Days of Truth, and post what has been on my mind and heart the last few days (among many thoughts..LOL). Now, please bare (bear??) with me on this..I know compared to A LOT of people (including people that I know), my life is pretty darn easy. I don't have any kids (among some of my thoughts..more on that in a minute), I really do like my job, on the most part my health is ok (more in that in a minute), I am "free", blah, blah, so I know to some of you reading this, it may sound like I am complaining, and maybe I am..just a bit..but here goes..

I am tired! SO tired. I am tired of my on-going health issues. When people ask how I am doing, I really don't know what to say. Yes, compared to March, I am great (and I am...I know it), but there are still several things that they are working on. My cyst, the fact that I may have MS, the fact that I will always be monitored regarding my breathing/lung/cardiac problems, I am concerned about getting another blood clot..having babies...or not. I think if anything else happens, I am gonna cry right on the spot!! I am seeing a specialist (or regular DR.) once a week (ok..maybe not that much) or so...I am just tired of being not normal. I just want to be semi-normal (medically saying). Even now, my right leg has been hurting since yesterday, and although I don't think it's a blot clot, it is still bothering me. I am wondering "should I go to the hospital or not??" To be honest, I don't really have that much faith in the heath care I get there. (I though I really like my specialists) I am even wondering if I am putting too much faith in the medical system??

I would consider going going on disability, but I don't think I would qualify. And, I WANT to be working. But every month, I have to go to Vancouver for some kind of appt. Every time we go JUST for gas, and maybe a meal, is over $100. Yes, I am working, but that just helps in paying the bills, etc. Anyway..yes, I am ranting. Anyway, I am very grateful for my life...grateful to be alive..just very tired of more stuff going on!! Ok, yes, I am tired of be always being financially strapped all the time, too:( Anyway...I think I will end there...

This weekend has actually been a pretty good one..got some stuff done on Friday, and had a very relaxing day on Saturday. Church, and I spent time w/ friends today, while Anker was at play practice. I did venture out in the snow this afternoon, and did a few things. I hate driving in the snow, but I guess I can't put it off forever.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Thirty Days of Truth, Day 7

Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living (for).

I have had this up for the last couple of hours while called some people, and I started a cleaning/organizing project. I am about to out to run some errands, so I should probably do this before I don't get to it.

I had to think about this for a bit, b/c while there are some obvious people in my life, I was thinking of people that maybe weren't so obvious..however, I decided to go with the most obvious, because, well, THIS person HAS made my life worth living...

This person came into my life just over 4 years ago...I can't imagine my life without them! This person, is of course, my HUSBAND!! I love him very much!!!

We met online in 2006, and then he started calling me every day...we talked about most everything...then we met, and started dating, and a few months later, we were engaged:)
I can't believe it has been 3 years since we have gotten married!! I know our life hasn't been perfect, but we somehow make it through!

We are very different in a lot of ways, but in a lot of ways, we are the same. Not many husbands would stay by their wife for most of her 1 month hospital stay. He went above and beyond what was asked of him. He is encouraging, and never worries (I do that part for him!!).

I am so glad God brought him into my life!!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Thirty Days of Truth, Day 6

Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.

There are a few things that came to mind as I was thinking of this yesterday. About 3 or 4 things came up almost instantly that I would never want to have to do.

Considering, though, that we are trying to have a baby (or at least are working our working our way towards it), there is one thing that I would never want to be faced with.

I never want to have to chose between my life, or the baby's life.

My view of abortion, in nearly every circumstance, is pretty much black and white. It's wrong. Life begins at conception. Period. There are only a couple of instances where it MAY BE okay, and even then, I am not sure. One, would be if the mother's life is in SERIOUS danger, and the other would be if it were a product of incest.

The reason that this comes to mind, if we end up having to use clomid, we could end up getting pregnant w/ twins, and twins would be a no-no. One baby would be hard enough on my body. They pretty much said that if I got pregnant with twins, they would have to abort on. Hearing that makes me sad. Thankfully, that's a ways away, so we don't have to think about that for awhile. But, that is one thing that I hope I never have to do.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Thirty Days Of Truth, Day 5

Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.

Well, this one's a no-brainer.

I hope to one day have a baby!

Ever since I was about 5, I have day dreamed about being a mom. I am not sure if this dream will ever happen, but it's fun to think and dream about. The road to fertility is tough for us, and not just b/c of my PCOS, but b/c of my recent health issues. If being a mom doesn't happen, I will be very sad, but I think I am already (being) prepared for the "no" answer.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

30 Days of Truth..Day 4

**** Updated/Edited Nov 17..See Day 3's post partially pertaining to this post.

Day 4.. Something you have to forgive someone for.

I have been thinking about this all day, trying to figure out what I should say. I am usually pretty good at forgiving people. I don't hold a lot of grudges, and I usually move on, and don't think about it. There are a few things, however, that have happened, that I seem to think about on and off. Not so much as a grudge (at least I don't think so), but just things that I should probably either go to God or to the person (probably both), and let them know that I have forgiven them.

I won't say specifically what it was, but there was an incident a few years back where I confided someone, and they really felt that they needed to someone else that I loved (what I told them). I realised that they did this (or wanted to) at the time because they felt that that they were doing the right thing. I really felt (and still do) that it wasn't their place to do that. Maybe it **was** the best/right thing, I don't know. I still need to give it to God, and maybe even go to them.

I can't wait until Day 5:) These last few have been kind of hard!!!

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Thirty Days of Truth, Day 3

Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.

Wow..this is a tough one! There are a lot of things that I have done that I have regretted in life, but there really isn't one thing that I haven't forgiven myself for...hmm....:)

There are a few things that I have to forgive myself for, but I won't post them here. I want to be careful that I don't involve a lot of people when I am talking about my personal thoughts, etc. I really try (at least, I think I do!!) to talk about just our life, and casually, when appropriate, talk about other family members or friends. I only name a few of my family members on here in general, and sometimes only use their first initial. When I talk about really personal things, I usually don't bring other ppl in it..or if I do, I don't say their name (ok, now I will have to go through my posts, and see if I have actually done this!!). Anyway, this isn't really part of today's post!!

So...yes, there have been times when I have done dumb things, and I wish I hadn't done them!! I am generally a pretty practical, and "safe" person. I don't sky dive, or bungee jump...I don't take crazy risks (not usually!), nor do I walk blindly into situations.

This particular thing that I am going to say isn't really something I need to "forgive" myself for, but it is something that I wish I had done w/ more care, and information, etc..but for the purpose of this post, I will publish it...

I wish I had not taken the Pill, and not for as long as I did.

I started taking the Pill at the age of 20, and I was on and off for 10 years. I was on it specifically for my cycles, and cysts. In same ways, this was good, b/c it helped w/ my cycles, but in other ways, I wish I had just stopped sooner. I am sure that it is playing havoc w/ my fertility, and I am sure that I gained weight, and my depression was caused, in part probably b/c of the pill. No one gave me any information on other forms of trying to control my cycles. PCOS was hardly heard of nor talked about (I actually was not Diagnosed until about 2 years ago), otherwise, they may just put me on Metformin. It was just something that I walked into blindly, and I wish that I would have more information, and was given more options.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Day 02 Something you love about yourself.

I had to think about this for a minute, I was typing out one thing, but I am going to use that in a later day/post.

I love that I am a good listener, and (generally) don't give people advice, or try to "fix" things. I know this probably doesn't seem like it on Facebook, but generally, I don't. If someone wants to talk, I listen, while I sometimes bring things back to myself (which, by the way, I have been doing less of, unless I think that it helps them), I really just listen, and don't tell them what to do (unless they ask, of course). I think I am a pretty easy person to talk to. I just want to be a friend to them, and be there for them.

Vancouver Trip, and new job

Last Saturday was the funeral of my friend. It went well (as well as funerals can go, I guess), and the church was nearly full w/ friends and family. Our pastor did a great job, and her husband and several people did tributes, and her daughter sang a song. I don't know why, but I never cried. It really bothered me. I did cry a bit at the end, but that was all. I was very sad, of course, and I am sad because I will never see her or talk to her here on earth. It has really hit our church, especially our pastor and his wife very hard. No one can understand why it happened. It will be a long road for her family, especially her daughters.

We did end up having the "Light the Night" party the previous Sunday at our church. We thought of not doing, b/c of our friend dying, but the girls' dad said that the girls were looking forward to it. We do this every year, to encourage the kids to come to the church instead of trick or treating. I am sure that some kids go out T&T-ing anyway, but at least it's a place for them to come afterwards. I wasn't going to dress up, but I decided to in the end. About half of the people (adults) dressed up. I ended up going as a ladybug. It was fun getting the costume together, but I wish I had more money to a "real" costume..oh well. I bought some black wings, and ended up putting some red glitter glue on them for spots..so I guess I wend as a backwards Ladybug:) I am not sure how many kids there were, but it was a fun time. We had candy, and there were fireworks. We rented a bouncy castle, and there were a few stations. It was a fun time.

I know this is going back, but had a couple for supper sometime in mid-October. Her bday is the end of the month, and I wanted to have them over. We had a nice dinner of lamb and steak, and it was a fun evening.

I started my new job October 20. I really like it. It's perfect..the hours, etc. No pressure..just the type of job I like. The money is nice, too. Not a lot extra, but it helps, for sure. I work Mon-Thurs, in the evenings. I already got a raise!! My boss is really good, too. I talked to him today about having time off to go to Vancouver for ongoing medical issues, and he was totally fine with it. I would try to make appts for Fridays, but most Dr's don't see pts on Fridays..boo hoo.

Our Vancouver trip was short but sweet. I think we were gone for about 28 hours. I made snacks, so we wouldn't stop for lunch on the way down. After church, we quickly cleaned the dental centre, and then headed off. It was a beautiful day, and the traffic was minimal. Stayed with my cousins, and then the next morning, it was off to the BCHWCH. We were late, but we still were there for about 4 hours! They still don't have a concrete answer of if my body could carry a baby or not. They need to figure out why I got sick in the spring. Each specialist seems to have a different answer. They also stated that women who have cardiac problems that get pregnant can have up a 50% chance of dying...not a lovely number, I know. Also, IF I got pregnant, I would have to move to Vancouver (which I knew, anyway), which could be months, or up to a year. They want me to have another MRI (I had already had it booked), more blood tests, etc. They want to look at me and my body as a whole person, and make sure that I am a good candidate health-wise to even go forward. They also said I have a chromosone issue, in that one of my chromosones only has one "X". They say that it could be fine, but they still have to look into it further. They want me to see an geneticist. That's pretty much all they said. They DID say, however, that IF I got pregnant, it wouldn't be the end of the world (well, one Dr said that). Maybe that sounds kind of oxymoronish, but that is what they all said!! So, in a way, we left feeling a bit discouraged, but in a way, we felt good about it. I also have an appt to see an oncologist for my cyst at the beginning of December. So, we are still a ways away from having babies.

We stopped off at VGH, after having some lunch, to get my medical records from when I was born-2 years, which was really neat to read! I actually started crying when I read it. I just can't believe that I went through all of that. I really should have died at birth, or at least soon after. Dad said that one of my specialists who looked after me said that he had never seen so sick a baby survive. I plan to put all the info (or at least most of it) in to a file-folder, and try to re-organize it a bit. Mom wants to look through it, and I want to photocopy some for some of my specialists.

Our trip home took exactly 4 hours, w/ our stopping at Chiliwack. The weather was ok, but it did snow on the way back. Not a whole lot of traffic, though.

I forgot that I haven't written about seeing my GYNE about my cyst. First of all, he said that it could be a hemaguratic cyst, which means that it is just blood-like. If it is, they don't need to do anything, but just keep an eye on it. I really hope that this is the case. He has referred me to an oncologist, b/c if they have to do surgery, then he wants him (Dr. Ehlin) to do it. Dr. Human said that I should never have had that Laporoscopy back in 1996. Dr. Human doesn't think it's cancer (I have been feeling fine for the most part), but he wants me to see him, just in case.

That's all for now, I guess. I will do Day 2 in 30 days of truth next!!

I should probably post about the weather:) Most of the time, the weather has been lovely. The leaves are pretty much all off the trees, but they are on the ground, which I love to see. No snow yet!! Not really a lot of rain, and the sun has been trying to shine nearly every day.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

30 Days of Truth..Day 1

****I realized when I was in bed last night that I don't think that regretting quitting the piano really refers to this first question....I guess there are a lot of things that I hate (or dislike/want to change, etc) about myself that could fit into this or any other question....but I was thinking about one that that I don't like, something that I think is very true, and that I wish I could change...

I always seem to take the easy road when things get tough.

This isn't totally true, but it is true in a lot of aspects in my life. I think in part, it is b/c that I am so tired of trying, that I just up and decide to take/do what's easy. But, I think that I am doing better at this...in other areas.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am following a blog of a semi-friend of mine, and she is doing 30 days of truth...so that I would be able to find the information, here is the full 30 days of truth..and I will answer each question one at a time..probably not every day..but I will try every couple of days or so...with out further ado..here we go!

Day 1..Something you hate about yourself..

Well, what a good one to start off with, eh?

Hate is a pretty strong word, for sure...and there are certainly lots of different things that I don't like, or wish I could change about myself...but there is one (of many!!) thing that I will always kick myself for (or rather not) doing.

I regret that I quit playing the piano.

I know this isn't a super spiritual or emotional thing, but to me, it is something that I have always wished I had continued. You see, when I was about 5 or 6, I wanted (or mom wanted me to..not sure which) to play the piano. I think Mom was my first teacher, then my gramma. I had a couple of more teachers after Grandma, and they were fine teachers, but I still found it hard. I really just didn't enjoy it. I played it (kicking and screaming, for the most part), until I was about 13 or 14, or maybe even younger. I think I was just plain tired of it, and it was boring. I didn't have the mind for it (or so i thought), so I just quit. Mom said that I had to at least learn to play a hymn before I quit, but I think I even stopped before that. People then were telling me that I would regret stopping, and I (in my teenage wisdom) told them that I wouldn't. Sure enough, when I got into my 20's, I started regretting it. I have thought of picking it up, but I just keep forgetting about it, and basically just haven't. Most of my family can play an instrument. I sometimes feel a bit left out:)

I will blog about my recent Vancouver trip and our recent happenings this weekend.

PS..I just finished reading the entire list, and I am not sure that I will do the ENTIRE 30 days..as some of them sound just too long, and even a bit boring..but I will certainly do most of them!!





Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Friday, October 29, 2010

Sadness

My heart is breaking tonight with some news I heard earlier this morning. I was going to title this blog post "Death", because I have been thinking of death the last few days...what it would be like to lose a child. I actually came upon a blog, who's friends daughter died of a brain tumour (she was 5, I think??). I ended up finding this girls funeral service online, as I wanted to see ballet the girls dance class was doing. It was a very moving service (don't worry, I didn't waste an hour of my time watching some random child's funeral, in case you were thinking I was odd) and it got me thinking of burying your children. A parent should never have to bury their child. I am also following some blogs of BLM's (Baby Loss Mamma's), where their babies were born prematurely, or had pre-existing conditions/diseases in the womb, and were not expected to live. So, every few days or so, I usually glance over them, and read the newest posts. I don't know what is drawing me to these. So, last night, I was restless. I couldn't sleep, and I was thinking of what it would be like if I had to say good bye to a child of my own (ok, yes, this is deep, but I think these things!!), and I couldn't sleep. I always wonder on how I would react, and deal with the situation. I don't know how any parent survives that. So, that is what partially kept me up last night.

I never (well, rarely) have sleepless nights. I usually go to bed as soon as my head hits the pillow. I usually sleep very well. Last night, though, my sleeping machine (well, the mask) was giving me problems. It was bothering my face, etc. I just ended up getting rid of it. I will try again tonight. So, if I do have a sleepless/restless night, I either pray, or just lay there. Now, I know that I will pray. Now, I know why I was restless (actually, I was restless for two nights in a row).

This morning, I got up, and I had plans to meet up w/ a friend for coffee, and had a full day of running errands. I wasn't on Facebook for more than a few minutes, when I received an email from a friend of mine, asking me if I had heard about a mutual friend of ours who had died. I was floored. To make a long story short (I won't go in to details), she was found dead yesterday afternoon(which was why I couldn't sleep two nights ago, either). I am shocked and saddened. She is my age, and has a husband and two beautiful daughters. Although we weren't super close, we were friends, so this is probably the closest friend in my life that I have lost. I have lost people that I knew, but they were either my grandparents (who were both suffering, and it was their time), or people that I really wasn't that close to. Now, my heart is breaking. I saw talked w/ her a couple of weeks ago for about 20 minutes. I saw her last Sunday, but she was busy, then she left, so I never said hello. She is on our list of "fast dial" numbers on our phone. She was someone who I sometimes went to when things weren't going so great. They gave us money to buy our car. I just don't understand it. We were almost in tears this morning. I am not looking forward to the funeral at all:( I would ask you all to pray for the K family. This is hard on our church, as well.

This reminds us all that death is NEVER far from us. It is very near. Sometimes, we think we are immune to death, but as I have come to know from being sick, it is never far. I have to admit, even after being sick, you kind of forget that death could ALWAYS happen!! We are never immune to it.

So, after reading that, I didn't know what to do. I felt guilty even THINKING of going about my day. They don't live in town, so it wasn't like I could go and help out, or be with the girls. I couldn't even make them supper. I did buy a card, and I will mail it to them. It was hard evening standing in that section...I can't even remember when the last time was that I picked out a sympathy card.

I think I will end here for now. There are a few more things to update, but I will save them for another time. I will say that we are doing ok (other than this, of course), and my job is going well:)

PS..I do apologize for my odd wordness at times. It always sounds so nice in my head, but then I forget how I worded when I get here to type it!!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

News

Yes, I couldn't find a good title for this blog post!!


Thought I would update on some stuff happening around here. First off..my trip to Vancouver went well. I decided to make it fun, and just enjoy my time. And, for the most part, I did:) I stayed at my cousins, who is fairly close to VGH. I wish I had a ton of money, b/c then I could have walked from Coffee Shop to Coffee shop!! It was fairly nice two of the days I was there. I spent time visiting w/ Kelly and Sarrah, which was really nice. I really hadn't talked much w/ Sarrah (my cousins wife), so it was great to get to know her. I loved spending time w/ their girls. I felt fairly safe walking around Vancouver, and I did a lot of walking, including, walking back from VGH to their house on Thursday!!

My appts went ok..My appt at the MS clinic didn't really bring up anything new. She did say that she thought that I did have MS, but I will have to have another MRI, and an LP sometime. To be honest, that is the last thing on my "worry list", but I do know that I have to get it done. Not sure if I will have the LP here or in Vancouver. The Dr. that will do it is very good, so I will probably get it done here. The MRI is booked for December 15, and that will show if there are any more lesions, etc.

My other tests that I had to see if my body could carry a baby went well. At first, I was a bit stressed, b/c my aBg's (blood gasses) didn't come back that great (high Co2, and low O2), but none of the Dr's have gotten the results back yet, so I am not sure if there is even a need to worry. I also did an over night oxymetry, and no one has the results of that, either. I do see the parinatologist in November, so we will see then what they all think.

I took the bus to Vancouver and back, that was pretty enjoyable. I really don't mind the bus much..I usually enjoy the ride:)

I saw my Internist here in Kamloops, and my ECHO any my ECG came back fine. There is definitely fluid on my abdomen, and she has increased my diuretics, and I hope that will help some. There is also fluid on my pelvic area, and so I went for an U/S in Vernon (more on that in a minute), and I saw my Dr. yesterday, and he said that there is a cyst (or lesion) on my left ovary. So, I am seeing my GYNE sometime SOON (I hope) to get that looked. Not sure if I will have it taken off here or in Vanc. I will have to discuss that with them, I guess. (I have to get re-referred..the one thing I don't like about our Canadian Medical system is that you have to get re-referred for each individual problem..grr!!) I am trying not to worry about it...but I am...I hoping that is just that..a cyst..but I can't help but worry a bit. My cycle is also a mess, and I am wondering if that has something to do w/ it...hoping that when they take it out, my cycle will go back to "normal". (not that it's normal, anyway..but at least it came the same time each month)

I had 4 days in Vancouver, and was home one day, then on the road again to my parents' for Thanksgiving. It was a nice weekend, and we stayed at the B&B, so it was like a bit of a holiday. The food, fun, fellowship were great!! My brother, Luke and his wife were here, so it was fun seeing them. Adam and Krystle were on a vacation, so they were missed.

Anker's birthday was on Friday, so we ended up going to Vernon for my u/s, and then left just as quickly as we came...and then found a pumpkin patch, and picked some pumpkins. We came away with about 7 (gourds included). Saturday, Anker wanted to puree them, so they are now in our freezer, awaiting for me to bake something good with it.

I got a job today! I start tomorrow!! I will be working w/ Big Brothers and Big Sisters, telemarketing for their Renew Crew. I hope it goes well, and that they are flexible w/ me having to go away for med appts, etc. It is in the evening, 20 hours a week Mon-Thursday, so for the most part, unless I have to go to Vancouver, there shouldn't be a problem. I am really hoping that it works, as we could use the money, and it will be nice to get caught up. I am going to try it for a month, and it if it too much (like if I really hate it, it's too much, etc) I will give it up..but I pray not!!

So, we may go out tonight to celebrate. I want to watch a movie, and they have a great deal at our downtown movie theatre..so we may go there.

Oh..back to Anker's bday...after the pumpkin patch, we got back in to Kamloops, and we went out for supper at Lynx Grill. We had never been there before, and it was really good. We will definitely go back!! The dessert was to die for!! (he also got a Tim Horton's GC, of which I am making good use of!)

Things have been crazy in the family, too. Just yesterday, my uncle had a heart attack, and is still in ICU. He was driving his car when it happened, so we are grateful that he didn't kill himself our others while driving.

There have been other things happening as well, but I won't say them here yet...

A couple of weeks ago (can't remember the date) Adam and Krystle were on their way to Vanc, for their holiday, and stayed here for the night. We had a nice time of visiting, and we made them a nice pork dinner. Anker tried a Danish dish, and it was really good. Krystle and I spent the next afternoon hanging out together..going for coffee, a great visit..and checking out the new local library, and even an antique shop. When we got back, Joseph and Cadence were are our house, as they were in Kamloops for a couple of days, and we ended up spending the evening w/ them

Anker got some dental work done (root canal), and the dentist never even charged him!! (It's the dentist he cleans for). He also saw the Ophthalmologist a couple of weeks ago, and will be seeing him again next week, and it looks like he has glaucoma...and he needs glasses terribly. I hope now that with this job, we can find the $$ to get them. We thought of going on Disability, but I really don't think that I could get it, and it would be less $$ than we are making now (granted, we would have our trips to Vanc. paid for, and also our medical and dental paid for), but it looks like I have a job, so I don't have to worry about that now.

I think that's about all for now!!

I will try to update a bit more.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Lost and Found!

I really don't feel like blogging tonight, but it HAS been awhile, so I wanted to just do a quick update.

It's been a beautiful few days here...nice and warm, and the leaves are turning, so it is just beautiful.

We had one of my brothers and his wife over the other night, so we cleaned the house like we hadn't cleaned it in awhile...and made a nice supper. I spent the next afternoon w/ K, and we just hung out and did fun things:) Library, an antique store, and coffee:) That evening, my OTHER brother and his wife came, and we visited and ended up having supper together. Then, we looked at old pictures. (more on that later)

Yesterday, a friend of mine called and asked if I wanted to do coffee...I said yes (I hardly EVER refuse coffee dates), and we had a nearly two hour visit. I had a few things to do, including go to the WI clinic to make sure that I don't have a blood clot in my leg. It has been sore since Tuesday, and I was worried about it..thankfully (well, maybe not thankfully, but at least it's not urgent), it's probably a slipped disc, which is odd, b/c my back isn't sore at all. I think my legs are getting better.

I wish I could update you more on our lives, but to be honest..I can't quite remember what I was going to update you on..back in September!!

I am following way too many blogs..I can't get rid of any..does anyone know how to do that??

We attended a wedding of a friend last Saturday. It was a lovely wedding, and we had a fun time. I even got Anker out on the dance floor a couple of times.

Well, on to the title of my post:)

A week ago this last Wednesday, I was at the bathroom at the library, when my engagement ring flew off. I hardly ever wear my rings, b/c they are too big, since i have lost weight, but I had worn them the day before, and I just left them on..well, it flew off. I looked EVERY WHERE..and i was soo upset! I thought for sure that I had flushed it down the toilet..never to see it again. Well, for the wedding we went to, I put on this cheap ring that i had bought years ago, but at least it looked decent. This past Wednesday, I was going out to grab something, when I SEE IT!! It was on the floor, right by closet, under my flip flop! I was sooo excited!! My SIL prayed that I would find it..but I assured her that it was never to be seen again!! Yes, she (well, really God did) had the last word!! LOL.

Also...back to my old pictures..From about the time I got my first real good (film) camera (about 1990-1991), I took a ton of pics...until about 1995-1996. Well, those albums, somehow got misplaced..and i was sure that they were in the garbage. Well, a few weeks ago..my sister tells me that the found some old albums of mine..I just thought that they were record albums. Well, low and behold..what do I see in the back of the Suburban? That's RIGHT!! My albums! Oh man..I wish I had a good scanner..I would put soo many pics on FB:) LOL

I went to Vernon to get an U/S done on my abdomen, and we found out that there is fluid on it..as well as in my pelvic area..lovely. I will see my specialist mid Oct. I also will have an Pelvic U/S on the 15th of October. You can get u/s's soo much quicker than you can here. Crazy!! My friend (who drove me) and I had a great time..sitting in Starbucks (well, outside, actually), talking in the sun...walking the mall, and checking out places on the way back.

I had a date night w/ Anker a few weeks ago..complete w/ candles, and table cloths!! We watched a couple of movies after. Yes, that is what our date nights consist of. I am considering going on PWD. I will check into that when I get back.

Will be having Thanksgiving at the ranch this year..my brother and his new wife will be there...should be fun. I will only be home one day, and then we go out there.

I am heading to Vancouver tomorrow. Was going to be going w/ Anker, but I found out that it is a 4 day thing (one appt that I thought was on Tuesday is on Thursday), so I am staying w/ my cousins, and try to enjoy some time in the big city. I will try to catch up w/ some friends while I am there.

That's about all for now, I think. Nothing really new on the job front..I had an interview, but I don't think that I got it.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

(Re) Welcome to my (our) blog, Why do I have a blog, and Our Vancouver Trip.

Thanks to everyone for wanting to be on my blogging list!! I hope you don't think that I am trying to "celebrate" myself, or anything, but I thought some people may want to know what is going on with us, and my health, etc, and this a more confined, private way to do that. This is more than just a health update on me, it is also about my thoughts, and our life. I don't want to put a lot of my health info on Facebook, so I thought if anyone wants, I would give them an opportunity to be a reader:) If you don't want to be a reader, then please just let me know, and I can take you off the list. I may decide to make this public, but right now, I will just have it private. I usually let ppl know when I have blogged on Facebook, so you don't have to keep looking every day to see if there has been an update. I won't post pics, b/c frankly, I don't know how:) I also just want to let you know that the things I say here, I don't always want everyone on FB to know, so basically, what I say here, stays here:) ( I am sure you won't refer to anything -re:events, health concerns, etc- on my page, anyway..but just want to clarify). I will put SOME things on here..like I have been doing.

Someone asked me why I had a blog. I tried to explain to her why, and to be honest, I couldn't come up w/ an answer. I think it is a way to a) Share some of my thoughts on "paper", not even caring if anyone reads it. b) IF anyone is interested, especially for ppl far away, they can have an update on us. c) Maybe what I am going through (health, finances, etc) will help someone else, to be an encouragement d) IF we end up having a baby, it is a way to document, and update ppl, w/o everyone in Facebook-land knowing!! I hope that helps you understand a bit why I (we) have one:) I don't update this every week..maybe once or twice a month, if anything exciting is going on!

Ok....Let's start off w/ the Vancouver trip. Actually, first, I have to talk about our car. Back before I got sick (February, maybe??), our car started getting really noisy. (As if you were in an airplane.) Well, b/c we are pretty financially strapped, we didn't do anything about it. So, we drove it all summer, with no incident. About a week or so before we left, some lights came on, and they wouldn't come off. I didn't think much about it, since they had done it before, and nothing was wrong. Well, Anker found out that something WAS wrong!After talking w/ a mechanic friend of ours, we found out that the Wheel bearings were going:( So, off to the parts store he went...and nearly $350 later, he fixed our car!! The passenger side was totally shot!! It purrs like a kitty cat now! We now have something else wrong w/ it, but that is for a whole other post!!

Saturday afternoon (August 28), we set out to Vancouver. Since Anker's sister and her family were busy that night, we called up my 2nd cousin and asked to meet up w/ them for the evening. After hanging out at the mall, and getting an iced tea, we met up w/ N, and we drove to her house. We had a lovely evening, visiting, and meeting her husband, J, and their kitties:) Later Saturday night, we went over to Anker's sisters, and spent sometime visiting. This will be probably the last time we stay there, as they are moving to Victoria:( Oh well, at least we have a reason to go there now!!

Sunday, after a nice breakfast, we went to the PNE. I really didn't want to go, since financially, we really couldn't afford it. His sister helped a bit, so that was nice. We didn't do any rides, and bought minimal foods (we realised later that we should have just gone to McD's for supper, oh well), and didn't buy any items. It was a perfect day, w/ minimal sun (which was fine w/ me, since I was wearing pants), and lots of cloud. I walked all over, and the only thing hurting at the end were my feet!! I think the best thing I enjoyed was the RCMP Musical Ride. It was totally worth it!! We also saw the Super Dogs, and some Acrobats:) We ended up staying for the night showing, which was pretty fun. It was their 100th year anniversary, so it was kind of nice to go:)

Monday, was my first day of appointments. I have realized that you can really only fit 2 appts in one day, otherwise, it is too much, and they would get missed (due to timing). We went to BC Women's and Children's Hospital for our first appointment. I saw an internal medicine specialist, specializing in obstetrics (I think that it was she was called). This was because my specialist here wanted me to see them, regarding my having kids. He doesn't think I should (a couple of my dr's don't think the same thing). That appointment took nearly three hours. Nice. They took a lot of time w/ us, and asked us a lot of questions, and we asked them a few. After that, we went for lunch. Quickly grabbed a pizza at "The Flying Wedge", and it was so nice, that we ate outside. We then went to VGH (The Eye Care Centre, but same diff), to a neuro-ophthalmologist. (an eye doctor that specializes in the nervous system) One of the Dr's that saw me while I was at VGH wanted me to see one, b/c she thought my eye was twitching. Again, they took a long time examining me, and they didn't seen anything that wasn't congenital (yes, that is a word..it means from birth). It was there that Anker got sick..his allergies, he thought. So we quickly went to a mall to get some meds. Had a quiet evening...supper, movie, reading at his sisters house.

Tuesday, we got up early, and had to clean up, as they were having a showing at their house that day. We said our good byes that morning. Our appt was at 9 am at BCWCH. Off we went, where Anker found free parking!! Saw Dr. Skoll, a pari-natologist, a Dr. who deals w/ pre-pregnancy patients. She was really great, again asking us questions, and answering the ones we had. We told them that were against abortion, and would carry the baby to term. She did say that I could not have twins, so, b/c we will probably have fertility meds, that is a risk we would take. I hope that is a decision that I won't have to make. (to abort a baby) So...I have to do some tests (ECHO, ECG, over night oxemitry), which can be done while we are there Oct 4, for my MS follow up and for my pulmonologist follow up, and then I will also see a medical geneticist sometime as well. Dr. Skoll was very please that we were making an informed decision. She also told me that I would have the baby at St. Pauls, as that is for high risk pregnancies. There is also a chance that we would move, even if it's the last part of the pregnancy, as I would want/need to be close to the hospital:) (or even be IN the hospital) We would try to let me carry the baby to term, or as long I can. If for some reason that I was absolutely unable to have kids, then we would need to make some decisions, but hopefully won't have to happen.

Some of you may ask "what about adoption?" Well, there are a few reasons.. the main one is that it can take 1- 5 yrs for a child, if adopted through BC ministry. We don't have that long..Anker is almost 48, and I don't to start a family when he is 52. We also would like a baby, or a younger (3 and under) child, and I don't think that there are a lot of children that age that are waiting. Also, you don't really know the child has gone through, or if they have been exposed to drugs, alcohol or abuse...but the last part is really not a huge worry...it's mainly the first two reasons....

So, back to Tuesday..after our first appt...we went to Granville Island, as it was POURING rain! What's a trip Vanc, w/o some rain, right?? We had a fun time, though..looking around, and again..not buying anything!! It was around this time, that I decided that I should cancel meeting up w/ my friend. I felt bad, but as it was raining, and Anker not feeling well, I decided that it would be best to cancel it. I gave her a quick call to let her know that it wouldn't work out. In the end, it was a good decision. I hope we can meet up next time. We then went back to VGH, as I had to see the Neurologist. Unfortunately, I made a mistake and cancelled the first half of my appointment with the metabolic clinic. I didn't realize that was a big part of the appointment. Thankfully, they were still able to take me, and we spent a lot of time answering questions, etc. I also had to have an EMG, but they weren't able to do my diaphragm, b/c of my being on Blood Thinners, so in a way, it was a bit of a waste. We still don't know what caused me to get sick. It could either be respiratory, muscular, or neurological. I think we won't ever find out. Anyhoo...still, more tests, more appts:(

The trip home was trying. We left VGH at 4, and got into Chiliwack at 6. That was thanks to construction, etc. It rained until the Summit, and it was ok after that. Poor Anker got quite sick:( We quickly grabbed some supper when we got home (we hadn't eaten much all day), and got in around 9 or so.

So, that was our trip. Since this is a long post, I will blog again SOON about what we have been doing.

Just a side note..I managed to get Anker's cold, but thankfully, I was able to sleep quite well at night, thanks to "Frank". It acts like a humidifier, so it loosens things up (sorry...TMI??). We are both better now..still have some coughing..but nothing too major.I should also mention that there IS free parking in Vancouver. Anker found a FREE space just across from the hospital..nice:)

ONE LAST THING:) I am getting an abdominal ultra sound in Vernon on the 20th, just to make sure that there is no fluid (I think there could be..one of the drs in Vanc did say there might be a bit). You can get one there in about 2 wks, which makes me wonder..why don't more ppl go to Vernon/Kelowna/Merritt??

Friday, August 20, 2010

A free t-shirt, and other Happenings...

For those of you who may know, I tend to frequent A LOT of blogs! I think I am following about 20 right now. Most of them are adoption blogs, so I love reading their journey's....

This morning, I checked on one my favourite blogs, babeofmyheart.com (sorry, don't know how to encript it), to see that I had won a t-shirt!! She had decided she would do a give-away from her friends adoption blog...SHE (Andrea) had bought 10 t-shirts from Abby http://dockerybambino.blogspot.com/, who is adopting from Ethiopia. Anyway...I had commented on Andrea's (babeofmyheart) blog, not thinking anything of it...I didn't check it last night (I usually check on them at least once a day), so I didn't know she had updated...SOOO this morning, I went to her blog, and I see that she had drawn the names of the commenters from the day before..and sure enough..she drew my name!! That totally made my day!! If you are looking for a t-shirt, and want to buy one for a good cause..then go and check out Abby's blog:)

I just finished a book by Angie Smith, the wife of Todd Smith, who's one of the lead singers of Selah...The book "I will Carry You", tells the story of their daughter Audrey Caroline (http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/. At 18 weeks, they found out that Audrey wouldn't live...but they chose to carry her to term (or as long as they could) anyway..resulting in an amazing story!! They have since gone on to have another daughter (they have 5 daughters..including Audrey) Charlotte Olivia:) I am also trying to finish off the 5th book in the Abram's Daughter's series, called "The Revelation".

So...what's up with us?? Well, on one hand, really, nothing! But, on the other, a lot of little things. I seem to keep busy, doing this and that:)

Anker and were asked to help out at the Christian Music Festival on August 7-8. It was a nice time, and the weather was really quite nice! It rained a bit, and on Sunday, the sun came out. I really enjoyed visiting with people.

So....as I get older, I am trying to be more assertive...I really was wondering if I was retaining fluid, b/c I was feeling fuller longer, and I was feeling that although I was doing great walking, that I didn't think that I had the full amount of energy that I had when I got out of the hospital. I also wondered if it was b/c of the weight I was gaining. AND three ppl (Anker included) have said that they noticed that my stomach was protruding more again. I went to my Dr a week ago, and he did a thorough exam (this is the Dr that, when I was blue, didn't do anything..just gave me more tests to call...once I was in RIH (our hospital), my mom gave him a call), and said that I wasn't retaining fluid, that it was all just fat. I can accept that some of that would/could be fat..that's fine..but ALL of it?? Well, I came home, and promptly made an appt see my specialist at the beginning of Sept. I have been weighing myself every day..and keeping track of my weight.

I went to the RT (Respiratory Therapist) on Monday, as I wanted to do some more excersises, and see how I was doing, (this was supposed be done back in June/July, but never got done)..everything went well..I was better than when I saw them in May... but when I mentioned to him that I thought I was retaining fluid, and said that he noticed that I had some edema in my legs. I decided to go and see him (my GP), and just see what he thought.

Anker and I both had appts (I had one already booked for something that had gone away..but wisely, I kept it anyway)..Anker had an appt for his eyes...more on that later...Anyway..we went, and even while there, I was thinking that maybe I was dumb to have kept the appt...but I decided to just do it...lol. ANYWAY...I explained to him that the RT noticed that I had some edema on my legs..Dr. K did an "edema exam", and promptly said that some edema is OK! I then told him that it took me a year and a half to get to where I was so sick....and he didn't seem to be too concerned about it. He did weigh me, said that I was heavier than I was last week (when I last saw him), and then said that I could up my water meds..yay! I was very happy that he finally did something. My friend on Facebook who is an RN told me that w/ some CHF pts...SOME edema IS normal, but I am not a CHF pt..my heart problem is only secondary to what was going on. Anyway..we will see what happens next week when I go back.

Anker has been having issues with his eyes...he went to the optometrist, but they wanted us to come back, and we just don't have the money for that right now, and I was hoping that Dr. K would give him a referral to an ophthalmologist. He has given him a requision for an x-ray, and maybe a referral to an ophtho. We will see happen. He has a glasses prescription, so he needs to fill when we have the money to do that.

He is working at the church about 5 hours a day, now. The church wanted him to work at least that much during the day, plus weekends, if needed. This will be great, as we will hopefully get more money!

We are heading to Vancouver at the end of the month, as I have 4 dr's appts there:) This is all depending on if we have enough $$ to go..I may end up going on the bus..we'll see. Our car needs SO MUCH work!! Should be a fun time. We will stay w/ Anker's sister's family. They will probably treat us to the PNE..we usually go every year, but we skipped last year.

I am still looking for work...I had two interviews, but nothing came out of them. There are a few places that I have sent off resumes to...so I hope something comes out of them.

Oh...so, we come back from the Music Festival, to our cat having thrown up all over our bed. He has thrown up (lots!!), but never on our bed. SOOO...the next day. I had to go to the laundromat to and I washed our duvet, it's cover, and mattress cover...oh well...at least they got washed..I hadn't washed our Duvet since getting it 3 yrs ago.

A lot of fires around this area...Kamloops is sooo smokey! I haven't even been going for my walks the last few days, b/c of the smoke being soooo bad!!

I went to the beach last Friday..such a fun time. I swam, sun tanned, ate, drank and read magazines..:) I really love going to the beach. I hadn't gone at all this year..was going to go yesterday, but when I saw the smoke, I decided I wouldn't be going that day. I should have gone on Thursday.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Thinking of Changing Names...

..of my blog that is...some changes have taken place (ok, not CHANGES), just things have come to light..that have made me recently..(ok 5 minute ago) think of changing blog names. I am also wondering about going public..or maybe I should just start a new (another) blog althogether?? I would love to meet some blogging ladies online..and you really can't do that if your blog if private..of course, I could comment on the blogs I already read...How DO bloggers become friends, anyway??

Anyway..had kind of a blah weekend..and came home to cat throw up all over our bed. Seriously was not impressed. I nearly killed our cat right there. But today, I made a trip to the laundramat, and washed our duvet, it's cover and our mattress cover.

Sooo..should I go public, or add another blog? What name should it be?

Friday, August 6, 2010

A Long Overdue Post

It's been just over a month since I updated, so I figured that it was time.

In some ways, there really hasn't been much happening, but in others..it has been quite busy.

-Went to my family's for the Canada Day Long Weekend. Had a great time w/ family and friends. Even had some fireworks:) Camped w/ our new tent, and we got rained out (not really, but we did get soaked), but it was on the last day, so it really didn't matter. Even took my sleeping machine with me! Enjoyed our new tent..love the "porch", etc. Spent time reading, and just enjoying nature.

-July 12-16, helped w/ our church's VBS program. We did "High Seas" this year, and it was really fun. It was a beautiful week for it, and we had about 60+ kids come out.

-July24, attended a friends wedding. It was a hot day, but a lovely wedding.

-Also baby sat some of my friends' kids, so that was fun being w/ them. The money was also nice:)

-July 27, we celebrated our 3rd anniversary. Had a nice day, and we went to Paul Lake, and spent the evening. Had a picnic supper, and then I went for a swim. Had ice cream on the way home.

-Had an interview in Clearwater, so I went down the day before to stay the night, as it was early in the morning. I didn't get the job, but at least it allowed me a few hours away:)

-We have started up a fan page for Aveley Ranch. A lady in Vavenby has started it, and she and I continue to update the page. Check it out.

-There have been appointments (Anker has to get glasses, so we went to the optometrist, and he now has to go back...), and errands, and other things that seem to keep me busy.

-Last Friday, I had a temp job w/ Excel Personnel. I really liked and the money was great, too! I would have liked to have been called for this week, but nothing has happened.

-On Sunday, Anker and I went to Sun Peaks for the afternoon, as he had never been there before. We didn't stay there long, as there wasn't much to do, but we got treats and walked around.

-On Wednesday, Anker and I went to my dad's cousins, who lives about an hour away. They have a fish farm, and I hadn't been there in about 10 yrs. Had a wonderful visit, and came home with some fish:)

-I just had an interview today, but I am pretty sure I didn't get the job..oh well..it really doesn't sound like the type of job I'd like, anyway.

-THEO BC (who I've been working with) has finally paired me up w/ someone who will help me search for work! I hope that something come SOON!

I haven't really been feeling well the last week. Not sure what it is, and I am not seeing the DR until next Thursday. I am hoping that I can just take an extra water pill, and be rid of the fluid. I really hope it is nothing. Actually, I am feeling fine, just a bit "bloated" like I was before (although NOT nearly as bad). I am just going to try to LIMIT my fluids for the next few days, and see what happens.

There has been a lot of smoke in our area, due to the amount of fires burning. There was a fire in Kamloops, but thankfully, it was contained fairly quickly. I haven't found it much to be too hard on me...except when we were at Sun Peaks..but I just don't stay outside for very long.

We are heading out tomorrow to "Becoming Shiloh" (sorry...I don't know how to incript things). It's a Christian music festival held at a neighbouring ranch near my parents'. We weren't planning on going, but they were really needing volunteers, so we decided to go. It should be a nice time.

That's about all for now...I have more to say, but that's for another post!

Sunday, June 27, 2010

PS

Just a few more things I forgot to mention....

I am handing out resumes this week, and I did a bit last week, too. I am really hoping that this program works better for me..and they do their job, and help me find one:)

I really want to add some pizzazz to my life..good stuff, of course! While on our trip down to the coast last Thursday, Mom was talking about a book she was reading...I think I really need a life coach..but would probably do better getting some coaching from someone else. Our life is boring (ok..I know our day to day life is busy...but not our over all life), and needs more..well, LIFE to it!!

I am STILL losing my hair...I think from all the health problems. I am getting the home oxygen team to come (or me go there), to assess my O2 levels again...as I seem to be having sore legs when I walk up hill.

I went to a wedding ceremony on the 12th of June for a daughter of some church friends of ours. It was very nice. I tend to not go to ceremonies where I am not invited to the reception, but I decided to go...Such a lovely service.

The next wedding we go to is for another daughter of some friends of ours. Her dad was one of our groomsmen. I do know her (the daughter) a bit...so I am sure it will be a fun wedding. It will b e here in Kamloops, so no travel plans needed.

The fact that I went with mom/dad saved us about $400:) We were charged by the camp site for our first night, and they were unable to credit us...so we have a credit.

The Wedding

I know it's been a week since we've been home, but I just have been too lazy to post!!

I am doing ok..kind of blah. Anker's back is really bad..I may even go in and help him tomorrow for a bit. Things are just kind of blah all around. I am gaining a bit of weight that I lost, and I feel so lonely at times. I really don't have a lot of friends here. Maybe that is partially my fault. I have tried to be friends with people. They are either older, or younger than me. I know, woo is me, right??

SOOO....the weekend! Yes, we FINALLY got my brother married off, Praise Jesus! It was a fun wedding..AND SO beautiful!! We were all worried that the day would be rainy..or at least cold. The parents had been looking on the Internet checking weather for the last two weeks!! It such a simple but elegant wedding..totally Luke:) It was all outside, except for the dance.

Getting down there was a bit of a gong show...and I won't get into it.. but basically, the person that we thought was able to work wasn't able to. I think there was a lack of communication on both parts. I ended up going down w/ Mom and Dad, just in case Anker couldn't make it...in the end, he was able to get Friday off, as he was able to get someone to clean for Friday....by then, I was all set to go down w/ the 'rents, so we just continued with the plan. In the mean time, his sister was gradding from SFU, and he really wanted to go (originally, we were both planning on it)...but I didn't want to risk NOT going to the wedding...so I went ahead. Anker did go to the ceremony, but I had urged him to come on Saturday. ANYWAY..he came over on the ferry as a foot passenger, and it was wonderful that he was there. We went back Sunday with our friends. They dropped us off where are car was (another story..won't get into it), and they went on their way. We went to IHOP for breaky, and ended up seeing his sister for a few minutes, and then we ended up going to a Scandinavian festival. It was a bit of a dud, but it was sort of interesting, and we got a cook book out of it.

Anker and I were going to camp, so since this didn't happen, I ended up staying w/ the fam. It was sooo nice...a lot of ppl have time shares, or live there, so a lot of the places were like appartments. The wedding was great..and beautiful weather. Dad married them, and did a great job, as always. Amanda's parents are sooo sweet!! I hope to get to know them more. The reception was lovely, and before we went into the dance (which was in a small room), we all went outside to see the sunset, and take pictures.

I had to cancel my appts on Monday, so I am not sure when I will book them again.

I thought I had a small babysitting job, but I don't think it's going to go through now. I am really disappointed by it.

I have gotten into the program at Open Door Group (formerly THEO B C), but I don't have appointment with them until July 6. I am still hoping for this week sometime.

We may go to my parents for the weekend. Not totally sure, though. I guess we'll end up camping. We haven't used our new tent yet. It may be the only time we go away all summer.

I am following a bunch of blogs right now..some of them are adoption blogs. Such sweet stories. One Momma has just picked up her son from Ethiopia:) What a neat story!! Some are getting children from Uganda, and Ghana. Some have already adopted, and are adopting another!! I would sooo love to adopt...but that won't be possible for us. Which brings me to another thing..due to my recent health problems..I have been advised by my GYNE that I really shouldn't have kids. I really wasn't surprised (I don't know why), but sad, just the same. He may send me to a Parinatologist, who will have the final say...but I am sure it will be a "no". BUT today, in church, we sang "Healer", and I was totally thinking about that God can HEAL my disease/conditions..and if He wants us to have a baby, then He will make it happen!! I think if one more of my friends announces their pregnancy on Facebook, I may just delete them..lol.

We are going through "Grey's Anatomy" right now again. Our library has most of the seasons, but not season three..how weird is that??

I am reading a couple of books right now by Danielle Steel..yes, I know..mainly fluff books..but they are fast and easy to read.

I got a Cineplex Gift Card for my bday, so Anker and I made use of the a few days after my bday. We watched the movie "Killers". It was like a "Mr. and Mrs. Smith", but not as violent.

I guess that's it for now..not much happening..just errands, and times in the park spent reading...

Oh yes..on Friday night...some of the women in the church had a sleepover. We do this a couple of times a year. We ate, played Tennis and Bowling on Wii, which was a first time for me. Watched a worship DVD, and watched the first part of "The Blind Side". We had a pancake breakfast the next morning!

Enough for now, I guess! Have a wonderful week!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

34 is just a number, right?

Well, today is my birthday, and I have to admit, I was dreading just a bit. But it was a very nice day. I was taken to Starbucks twice by my friends (two different ones), and I ended up spending the rest of the time at SB reading my book. Then I headed to the library, where I found not one, but TWO US Weekly NEW (ish) magazines, where as I usually have to have them place them on hold for me. Came home and quickly got ready, and helped Anker put everything into the car. He had made supper and we had a small dinner party for me at the church. Fun times. I got some lovely gifts, and came home around 6:30. (We had to have to early, b/c of Bible Study that is held there). I also had ppl call me today, which has been lovely. I was taken out to SB for the second time today, by my very good friend...came home and Facebooked the rest of the evening away. I also spent most of the morning on Facebook..I loved all my bday wishes:) Anker isn't feeling the greatest, so he is off to bed..where I will go soon.

This has been a bit of a busy week. Monday..I didn't do much...but yesterday, my 2 aunts came into town, and they took me to lunch for my bday. One of my aunts' birthday is just before mine, so we each exchanged gifts. I then went off to get my license renewed. After getting a small slurpee...I went to the park and I spent about 2 hours reading and watching the children play in the water park. It was such a beautiful day:) Today it was rainy..oh well

Tomorrow I am seeing my DR, b/c I think I am getting some of the same symptoms I had back in Feb/March. There not at all as bad as they were..but I must keep on top of these things. I had this appt booked awhile ago, and I have since seen him for what I had orignally booked it for..but I thought I might as well keep it. I joked to the receptionist that I should make sure that I have a booked appt every week...but I think I am partially serious ab out this. I am also seeing my Internist at the end of June. Just in case that I feel that my fam. doctor did the proper tests, etc.

Friday, I am volunteering at the Y again (I usually do this on Wed, but I wanted to not do it on my bday), and then on Friday, we (or at least me) are attending a wedding ceremony of a young couple in our church. I don't usually go to weddings if we (I) are not invited to the reception..but I decided that we should...then I am seeing my Dermatologist for my (still) shedding hair. Mom did say that i had more hair than in Feb, and my g'f has noticed more hair growth..and today, I suddenly noticed that my bangs needed a hair cut. When we were leaving the church tonight..a friend who had come for Bible Study had noticed my shedding hair...so I told her what was up. I also told her that I had gotten my iron and my thyroid checked, and everything seemed ok. The interesting part is....that I never lost hair while I was in the hospital..hmm.

All the while, Anke is finishing a project at the Dental Centre, which, when he is done, will give us money for the wedding!! Speaking of which, our travel plans have changed somewhat, but will post all that after we get back.

My oxygen got taken away, but I am thinking that I need it back..maybe for my hair, and other things..will discuss this tomorrow. I may have to ask for blood gasses..which are NOT fun!

Sunday..my mom's brother and his wife are coming through town on the way to the wedding, and they are stopping by to see us, and her nephew and his wife, on her side of the family. They are taking us out for dinner..YUM!!

So..I can't believe I am 34...I still feel like a child sometimes...and not really grown up. I see people(women) with babies, and homes, etc, and I (still) really want that...but I guess you can't have everything. Yesterday, I was sitting in the park, and I thought "I love my life", b .c at times, I do..I mean..I can get up when I want, and do whatever I want during the day, with no time restraints. I can go the park (or wherever) and go for coffee (when money allows) and read, or whatever. But other times, I struggle. I am not really where I want to be..I mean..I am married, and i love that..but I wish had kids, or that we had a house of our own (or even larger place), and maybe even job I liked, or that we had more money...BUT I am aware that God is bigger than our dreams. I know things will get better..I hope to have a job in the summer. Sometimes, I feel so old..lol. But other times, not so much.

I have lots more doctor appts coming up this spring/summer/fall. I have come to the conclusion that Dr's either do too much or not enough. I am seeing a doctor who thinks I may have a metobolic problem, due to my lack of breathing..ugh!

I think that is all for now...

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Doctor's Appts, and the Like

Just a quick update...yes, I am alive..and doing quite well. We have had some cool weather and some rain this week, with very little sun. Quite a difference from the HOT weather in April we had, for sure.

Nothing too exciting going on. Just hanging out, watching tv, reading..etc. I have started reading books for the first time in about a year. I do admit that I like Danielle Steel books (well, most of them), and I just finished (almost finished one) reading her two newer ones. I think my next book I will read is a book my mom gave me for my birthday about two years ago. It looks good, but a bit sad.

Last weekend was very quiet...just basically hung around and didn't do a whole lot. I do go to a movie with a friend.."The Backup Plan", which was quite cute, and I also read a lot. We also went to friends BBQ, which was very nice...it was "BYOM", so I brought a lamb chop, and it was sooo good!! I also went to a Mary Kay party (at the same friends) on Friday, and it was fun getting glammed up!!

My parents celebrated their 36th anniversary. I think they spent the afternoon/evening together, which was nice. They almost always go out for a date night every week..soo sweet:)

I had a bit of a scare..ok, not scare, but more of a concern..yesterday. Actually, it started on Friday, JUST AFTER I went to see my doctor. I started having pain in my right leg, and my foot was sore..almost like it was when I had my blood clot, while I was in the hospital. I went to the WI clinic, JUST to be safe..it wasn't swollen, or hot, so that was good (which I obviously knew), but I just wanted to double check. He said it was fine, and he knew that I didn't want to fool around with something like that, so I didn't feel TOO stupid about going in. Kamloops only has two WI clinics now, and with you having to pay for ER parking, I just decided to go to the WI clinic. An interesting thing..I noticed that the DR who dismissed me at the hospital worked there..I asked who the doc on call was...sooo glad it wasn't the same guy..otherwise..HE would have been given an earful:)

Speaking of doctors..Anker and I went to Vancouver May 17-18. We saw my Lung/Respiralogist, Dr. Ryan. We started out at 9:45 from Kamloops, and got into Vancouver about 1:15 or so. It was a nice drive. We quickly went to lunch, and had a nice walk around the VGH hospital campus (as we had to park about 3 blocks away). The appt went well. My pulmonary function is up to 50% from 40%, so better than it was. I also do well when I am walking with out O2. One kind of sad thing was that we asked him about my getting pregnant, he said no...or that I shouldn't. We are going to talk to my gyne on June 14..and see what he says. Each DR says something different. It may just be too risky.

After the appt, Anker wanted to show me a park that he went to awhile ago. We had a nice walk, and it was a cool day, but not COLD/RAINY, so that was lovely. We went to his sisters place for supper, and we ended up just saying the night. We had the mattress in our car anyway, and I had packed just in case, so it all worked out. After a nice breaky, we all went to IKEA, and we shopped around, and then came home in terrible rainy weather.

I also saw the Internal Medicine Specialist this last week. She was the doctor who sent me to VGH. She said that I was doing well.

I am starting to (sort of) look for work. I have decided to not apply for any disability, b/c I really don't think I will get any. I went to THEO (now called Open Door Group), and they are going to switch me to another program, which makes me wonder why they didn't do this before?? (like last year??), but I guess this is all in God's timing. I guess it has more support, financially, etc, and I may even get a job sooner. I hope to have a job before I go to my brother's wedding in June.

I am getting excited about my brother's wedding. I was looking through my friends blog archives today, and I came across an entry where they stayed a campground in/near where the wedding is going to be...so we called, and we got ourselves a campsite!! We really can't afford to stay in a hotel (again, unless I get a job, and start work, and get paid before we leave), along with a ferry ride, etc. I just hope it's not raining..lol. And we did make sure that it is near the wedding site...and they say it is..woo-hoo. This allows us to maybe go out for a couple of meals, and maybe go to the Butchart Gardens in Victoria.

I guess that is it for now....

Friday, May 14, 2010

Bleh:(

Maybe it's the Friday night blues..I don't know, but I feel kind of blah tonight:( I haven't felt well all afternoon, and it's a bit concerning. I feel a bit bloated, and Anker says my stomach seems a bit larger. The scale has stayed the same for a week, and while that is nice, I would rather be losing. So, I am wondering, while I am not gaining fat, maybe I am gaining fluid? We are heading to see Dr. Frank Ryan in Vancouver on Monday for the day, so I am hoping that he can help and see what is up.

Actually, today has been rather nice. I pretty much just read and did laundry all day...I had to run out to the bank earlier, but that was pretty much it. I felt spoilt, today, as two nights in a row, Anker has made supper! Earlier this evening, I just sat outside, and read my book...it was sooo nice and warm!!

So, last weekend, Anker and went to my parents place for Mother's Day. We had been half planning to go, especially since Mom had done SO MUCH for me while I was in the hospital. Then, when the church announced they were having a work bee that same weekend (we went out for a day a few weeks before), Anker wanted to be involved. So, we all piled in the car (yes, with my sleeping machine), and after a quick supper at Subway, we headed out. It was a great weekend, and I am really glad we went. Mom had be paint base-boards, of which I had never done before..I had never painted at all before..Can you believe it? It was a lot of fun, and about 20 ppl came out!

Saturday night, Anker, Joseph, Cadence, Vienna, and myself went out for supper, and back to J&C's house for a visit, and a movie (not really a movie...but hard to explain).

Sunday was Mother's Day, and we had a nice breakfast, and a great Sunday service. Dad preached the best sermon I had heard him preach..ok..he always preaches good sermons, but I really enjoyed this one. I was a bit blah that morning, b/c of not being a mom, etc. Then to top it off, a friend of my aunts (the were both sitting beside us), thought I was pregnant! I think it was b/c everyone kept asking me how I was. She handled it very nicely, and I didn't say anything to her friend (good thing, b/c I might have been rude about it..lol). I was feeling better after church, and we all went home to work on yard work (what mom wanted to do), and get lunch ready. It ended up being a later lunch, so we didn;t have any supper. I had lamb chops, since I have to be careful of the salt, and everyone else had wieners/smokies. Had ice cream and berries for dessert, and then we all headed our separate ways.

This week has been pretty good..nothing too exciting, really. Just a beautiful week for the most part. We were going to go to The ranch this weekend, but we thought Anker had to work, so we didn't end up going. He came back from work this morning, saying that the event at the church had been cancelled, so we could have gone, but with our going to Vanc. on Monday, we just decided to stay put.

Will update more Tuesday after we come back