Showing posts from July, 2016

Infertility: Feeling Like A Failure

****I am apart of a group of bloggers who/that blog on a regular basis over at Fertility Matters Canada. Neither of us get (or take) any income from doing these posts. Hop on over and take a look!!****

I am not sure how to title/call this, but the jist is this....I often feel like a failure to family and friends, since we found out that we are not only infertile, but that we haven't adopted/fostered kids.

I know that it is a negative/wrong feeling, but I feel like a failure just the same.

I feel like a failure as a woman.

I feel like a failure as a wife.

I feel like a failure as a daughter.

I feel like a failure as a Christian.

I feel like a failure as a friend.

I feel like a failure as a sister.

I feel like I am not normal, like I have nothing to offer, like I have nothing worthwhile to talk about. I know these are all not true, but I cannot help but think this.

I think when I feel the the failure the most is around my family...and baby showers (but I rarely go to those anymore).…


As I have mentioned before, Anker and I are at an odd stage....or maybe are just I find that getting myself (ourselves) plugged in at church (I will stick with church, b/c that is where I mainly have most of my friends; I don't socialise a ton with my co-workers outside of work....and hubby and I don't socialise with my co-workers at all...and family doesn't count, since that is a given...we aren't involved with our community...and don't really connect with our current neighbours, though we have in the past), as our demographic is so varied, and so limited.

Let me explain...

Anker doesn't work (he is on disability), which doesn't leave a lot of room for having similar interests (things to talk about) with others. He has disabilities, which can also make interacting with others a bit challenging, and he also doesn't like to go out much. We have to really pick and choose our times that he needs/wants to go out. We also don't have kids...we a…

Can't We All Just Get Along?

This post won't be long....but my heart hurts for all the violence that has been going on around the world the last couple of weeks...from the TWO attacks in France, to the knife attack in Japan, to the shooting in Edmonton, AB (that was more domestic, but still), the to hostage and priest killing in France, another attack in Germany, and yet another attack in yet ANOTHER night club shooting in FL, and yet another in LA, and yest ANOTHER in TX!! Heck, there was even a shooting in our town, a few streets down from us! And those are what we hear about...there are countless others don't even make the news. I won't go into the why's or maybe's of why they are all use in talking about the political or religious reasons, either. I will say, that this makes me long for heaven! I don't understand why we just can't get along? Can't we put aside our differences, and just be? Why do we have to # hashtag certain movements, all in the nam…

A Tale of Two Weekends

Well, it's actually supposed to be three, buuuut I will do another post about this weekend another day...or not. Who knows?

First off..TWO weekends, ago...Friday...we finished our VBS with a was a lot of fun...and lots of kids and their families came. We had a bbq after, which was fun. Anker and I stayed to help clean up. We left around 2:30, and came home and relaxed for the rest of the day. I don't remember what all we did, to be honest. I think we watched tv/movies.

Saturday, we went the VBS Leaders' Appreciation Brunch and wrap up meeting.  I dropped off Anker, and I went to work for 1230. I worked until 330, and then I think I went to the library...or something. I watched three movies, and hubby watched TV.

Sunday, I worked 8-11, and then came home, and grabbed some things, and went to my parents' for my brothers graduation from home-education. Anker wasn't feeling well, and I was stressed from the busy week, that I didn't care if he came or not…


These are things that I could have put on my Friday posts, but there would be too many...:)

We have some odd weather for July lately. It was nice on Canada Day, and pretty much since then it has been cloudy...there were a couple of days where could have worn either pants or capris and it still would have been ok. Oddness!! Yesterday was the first nice day since July 1st....and even then, it clouded up. We have had some Thunderstorm warnings, including one today, but nothing really seems to have come out of them. We did get some rain, and some heavy clouds, but not much else. It was fun to storm watch, though.

I downloaded some apps last night, and one a wk or so is called COUNSEL, and other two are Recipe/food ones. I am not sure on how much (or if) I will get to use them, but they seem kind of cool. On another note.. I am very sad that the BC Lions don't have their app anymore :(

I have been actually pretty good on not buying stuff that we don't need (mags, cds, movi…

Five (Eight!!) on Monday!!

Happy Monday, Friends!!! I hope everyone had a great wknd!!

Here are my 5 for the wk:

Aunty Time:

I got to spend some time with H on Tuesday. His dad wrecked his ankle while playing soccer (again, it just goes to show that playing sports is not worth it!!!), and his mum called me and asked me if I could take H for a bit. I was already meeting up my friend with her two boys, so it was perfect. We spent an hour in the park, then we went to the library. It was a fun couple of hours.

Downtown Time:

I had to drop something off downtown, and since I had to pay for parking, I thought I might as well wander around for a bit. It was super fun!!! The Downtown Merchant's Market is this wknd, and I hope go for a bit. I love our downtown!!

New Hair Cut:

I was sick and tired of my hair; it still feeling too hot, despite my getting it cut shorter a couple of months back, and the way may hair looked, so I cut it, again...:) I love it!!!

New Starbucks Drink:

Yes, I caved, and I went to Starbucks on Fr…

I am SO OVER Infertility (Fertility Matters Canada Edition).

****I am apart of a group of bloggers who/that blog on a regular basis over at Fertility Matters Canada. Neither of us get (or take) any income from doing these posts. Hop on over and take a look!!****

*****Ok, so I did my first blog post over at the site, and I missed June 13th, as I didn't have one fully ready on time. Then, I didn't have this ready in time for TODAY's deadline, soooo, this will be ready for Thursday.This is a version of a post that I did on my blog last summer...I am going to re post it, and will edit it for for Thursday.******

I am SO over infertility. There. I have said it. I am not ashamed of it, either. I hate it. And NO ONE talks about it (in general and to me). NO ONE asks how I am feeling (ok, very rarely...and it' s usually my SILs who have/are dealing with this as well). I am over infertility. And, I am pretty sure that people are over me being over at it. So, I try. I try to not dwell on the sad/bad parts. I try to think of the positiv…

Friday Things

Happy Friday! I hope that everyone had a good week!!! Ours was BUSY!!! Here's why:

Back to work:
I started back to work on Tuesday. It feels odd to be back after 5 months, but kind of nice, too. I am slowly working back up to 12 hours (when I work my wknds).

VBS/Ministering with Hubby/Other People:
The BIG part of why I was so busy this week, was that hubby and I helped with VBS. It was SO FUN, but SO BUSY...coupled in with other things that I had to do. It was a great week, and I think that I will do a post just on VBS alone; it was that good!! At any rate...I don't remember the last time that I did church ministered with Anker...probably the last VBS, which was in 2011. I love that we not only did the work bees together (he went a few times alone, but mostly, we were together, with others), but we also went together (almost) every day this last week! He ended up doing the lighting, which was a last minute thing, and I think he had fun. I love that we had this week together.…

Weekend Wrap Up

Yes, it's Friday, and yes, I am doing an update about LAST weekend. Do I care? Nope!!

So, last wknd was Canada Day Long Wknd. Last Friday was actual CDay. We slept in and just hung out all morning. We were debating on whether to go to the park to take in the festivities. Anker didn't really want to, but I wavered on and off all day. I ended up going down about 4. I wandered around, and enjoyed the day. I texted a friend as I was leaving, and asked her if she wanted to join me. She said yes, after she ate her supper. I had a bite to eat from one of the vendors, and I had to have my mini-donuts. Yum!!! S met me around 6 or so, and we visited, then grabbed some ice cream. We visited for probably an hour, then we headed home. I hung out for an hour or so, then we ended up watching the fire works. We chose to see them just close to our house, and though it was far away, it was in perfect line of the fire works!!! I think I need to take a course on taking action shots, b/c I always …

Friday Things (on Monday)

Happy Monday!! I hope every is having a lovely 4th of July Wknd! Our July 1st was very nice...but I will talk about that in another post. I was going to not link up this week, buuuut, I have a few things to share (which would turn into more for next wk!).

New Shirt
 My friend bought me a new shirt for my birthday, and I love it! The picture that I have here doesn't do it justice, but it is the only one I that's the one you'll get! It is purple and long, and roomy. Love it.

New Sandals
 I bought a pair off sandals from off of one of the bidding sites a couple of wks ago. They were 5 bucks, and I love them...but man, are they ever uncomfortable! Oh well....they are pretty!!!

Hallmark Movies
I am on a serious Hallmark Movie kick right now. I am not even sure on how I got it...I think I just saw a few sitting on the library shelf, and I got them, and then I realized/remembered on how cheezy, but fun they are!! I may or may not have reserved them all from the library.


Happy Canada Day, Eh!!

I was going to link up this week (esp since I missed last wk), with the Friday link ups, buuuut today is Canada Day, soooo I wanted to talk about our great country!!! It is 149 years old today!!! For a country this old, it looks pretty good!! I wonder what its secrets are? :)

Sooo...I thought I would talk about the 149 reasons why I love Canada!!

1) I Was Born Here
2) I have lived here my ENTIRE life!
3) There are only 10 provinces, and three territories. Makes it so much easier to remember!
4) Our PM is a rock star (his wife is pretty sweet, too!!)!!
5) Free Health Care
6) Blue Skies
7) Lakes and Rivers
8) Mountains
9) Prairies
10) Deserts
11) We have 4 seasons
12)  Everyone wants to move here (judging from the Google Search!!)
13) Coffee Crisp
14) Ketchup Chips
15) We say chocolate, not candy, bars
16) We say pop, not soda, bars
17) Rachel McAdams
18) Paul Brandt
19) Dallas Smith
20) Nickleback (yes, they do have great music)
21) Pamela Anderson
22) Ryan Reynolds
23) Nanaimo Bars

Show and Tell Tuesday: Show Us Your Pets

Linking up with Andrea for this weeks STT :) This week it is Show Us Your Pets :)

I have never really been a pet-type of person. I grew up on a ranch, and while we obviously had tons of animals, we never really had many pets. Now, that being brother had his turtle, and I had a bunny..they all died. We also each had a few pet lambs, and I had two ponies (not at the same time), and of course, the family wasn't (and still isn't) pets-in-the-house people. They love animals...but they belong outside...and that is totally ok..cause that was me...for the longest time. When I was single, I never really thought to get a dog or a just wasn't in my realm of thinking.

When I met hubby, he had a cat. Hubby actually grew up with cats nearly all of his life. I think he almost always had a cat in his house. I wasn't a cat person. They shed, they went to the bathroom inside and stunk up the house...buuut he had his, I had to accept him as well :) S…