Sunday, February 17, 2013

Disguisting

As I type this, I am all snuggled in my B&B in Vancouver. I have my bi-annual appt tomorrow with my specialist (which is way over due, due to my being in school), and I am staying a few extray days to hang out with Baby T's Mama (who now has a little sister, N). I got in around 3, and wandered around, found Starbucks (which isnt hard to do here, you can find one on every street corner), journalled, and then decided that I should grab something to eat. Whenever I come here, I like to try a place that Kamloops doesn't have. I was hankering fo Noodles, and when I saw a little Noodle shop, I decided to try it. It is pretty good, just very salty. Have eaten half, and am deciding if I should eat the rest, keep it or just throw it out.

Anyhoo...enough about that...For the last nearly two wks, I have felt sick..and disguisting:( It started out with my being nauseous every night, and/or morning. I thought the obvious, but that has since squelched (BOO!!). I then started getting some really odd things happen, like gagging, and feeling nauseous while doing certain things. I thought I was feeling better, and then on Tuesday, I went to get up to go to my make up practicum day, and I started gagging, especially every time I bent over:( I decided that it just wasnt worth it, called in sick, and went back to bed. I spent the rest of the day on the couch, watching TV, etc. I have a comuputer class, and I nearly didn't go to that, but I thought that I should. Well, I got there, and I threw up (first time in years), and went home. I HAD to go to school Weds, we had projects to hand in, and I had a test to write, so I went, and I was feeling better. I thought it was just the flu. I saw Mom, who was with Hayden for a bit, and I went to my friends for a bit in the evening, and the next day, I had my practicum. I barely made it through. I was gagging, and nauseous and just plain not feeling well. I crawled back home, and went to bed. I called Mom and dad (on separate occasions), and one suggested that my liver (which I was told was fatty-really??) could be bothering me. The other said that I could be celiac. Nice. I mean, if I have to deal with one more negative health-related issue..I am gonna freak! I mean...no wheat/gluten, low sugar, low sodium (techinally, no Carbs, with my PCOS), no or little fat, what is there left to eat?? Besides that, I am SO SICK of having negative stuff of this kind happen to me!

We did have an ok VDay, though, considering our past Vdays:) We gave each other gifts, a lovely scarf, candies, candles, and a balloon for me, and a body pillow (which is what he wanted/needed), and chocolates for him..and of course, cards. Neither of us were feeling well, so we ordered pizza (probably not the best idea we had), because it was VDay, and we felt that we should do something. I got a bit sick after that, and we went to bed early. Friday and Saturday were days for running errands, and relaxing:) I was feelint better, but not 100%. On Saturda, we went to dinner (or rather tried) at a local diner that was advertised on the F@@d Netw@ork, show, YOU GOTTA EAT HERE. I guess going that night was a bad mistake, b/c they were very busy. We decided to leave, and ended up going to another local restaurant. Hubby had never been there before, and I had only been there a few times. The food was amazing, and it was even cheaper than the other place. We both had yummy food, and neither of us got sick.

So, that brings me to today:) The ride down here was good. It was a full load, but I got a seat to myself!! I love coming down here, just to relax, and see some different things/sights.

So, I have been thinking about babies again lately. I thought I was over it, but with every single pregnancy announced on FB, it gets harder to "get rid of" those thoughts. I know i need to let go, and let God, but I just can't somehow. There are times when I am ok with not having kids, especially after spending a few hours with Hayden, and come home tired. Having a baby right now would be ridiculous, in more ways than one...not only for my health, but financially. There are some other issues that I think of when /if we ever have kids.... I have a student loan that needs to start getting paid off in a few months, not to mention the other issues that come with having a baby. That being said, I have been thinking about going another avenue to have a baby. One that is a bit "out there", but one, nonetheless may actually work. Hubby and I have talked a bit about it, and he seems ok with it. I just have to pray, and see what Jesus has for us. I KNOW God has things planned for us, and I am enjoying school, but I am not even sure if I chose the right career. I am enjoying school, but it just keeps reminding me that I won;t be having kids. EVER. Like EVER.Kids and us will never get together. EVER.

Life isn't all bad, however. Yes, I did fail my first psych exam (oh well), but my assignments seem to be getting me by (I think!). BC had our first Famil Day last Monday. I used it to study with my brother. Hey, he;s family!!!

A couple of wknds ago, hubby and I needed brk from each other, and I needed to study, so I went to my parents' place for a few days. I spent the first night in the house, then, the second and thid night, I spent in the Heritage Cabin. I made my own fire and everything! I had a great time, and i got some studying in, and of course, I played with the adorable puppies!! Hubby came on the Sunday to pick me up.

Well, I have another rant, but I think I will save it for another post. Can't have too much fun at once, you know!