Show and Tell Tuesday

Happy Saturday!!! Today (a few days late!) I am linking with Andrea to talk about #thestruggleisreal.

Here are a few struggles in my life...

1) Infertility. Most of the time, I am pretty content with our not having kids, but every once in awhile, this becomes a struggle. That is when I have to take a step back, breathe, probably pray, and or talk with someone, and then go on about my day. Or, if i can...just end up being grumpy for the rest of the evening. Ha!

2) Time with God. Yes, I pray as I am going about my day...both sincere, and not-so-sincere; meaningful, and fast...but I really don't spend time with God like I know I should. I have NO excuses! At.All. I do try and read the verse of the day from my phone app, and I have about 20 devotions going. I don't read even one every day. I will go weeks without reading them, then I will read about 5 in a day. At least I try, right?

3) Reading Decent Books. I haven't read a book (decent or otherwise) in years. It has been magazines only. I wish I could get into a few Christian (or even just some sort of intellectual book) books, or even just a good thought provoking book or novel, but I cannot.

4) Health And Fitness. I want to be fit and healthy. I also want pie and fries. I want to got a walk every night. I also want to sit on my butt and watch TV/Movies. #thestruggleisreal

5) Volunteer/Ministry/Helping Others/Church Stuff. I love my job. I really do. But I also need my downtime. Therefore, I will often stay at home in the evenings, and not go out. I often will be selfish, and not help others, not get involved in ministry and or volunteer. Like our church is having VBS in July, I know I should help (and I have in the past), but I know that I will be probably pretty tired, and in need of a break.

6) Time with Anker/Others vs Being Alone. This is weird. I love my husband, my family and friends, but I also love being alone. I actually need to be very aware that people will need me (my company and my scintillating conversation!), but I often will just love to be by myself in our room. Yes, it is a very bad habit. There a lot of times when I would rather be home (in our room) than visiting with friends and even family.

7) Depression and Anxiety. This is for sure a struggle. One that I cope with on nearly a daily basis (on some level).

Life Lately

It's for another LL post!!

What can I say?

We finally got our A/C in our car fixed. We now have A/C in our house...all I can say is..Yay!!!

Our garden is growing, y'all! And we got our first strawberry this year from the garden. Yummy!

I am getting a Barium Swallow done in July to rule out any swallowing issues. My issues that I did have seemed to have been left me for now.

The right side of my neck and should hurt. It started on Friday afternoon/evening, and it hasn't really gotten better. It think it may have to do with all the time I spend on my computer and phone, and probably reading all my magazines!!

Our road is completely torn up. It is kind of annoying, and smelly! They are putting in a new sewer line, so we can smell sewer (even more than usual). It's gross. I hope that they get that part of it done soon.

I got my school staff and class pictures back last week. I have them sitting very proudly in our room. I might end up buying some cheap frames to put them in.

Only two more weeks left of school. I cannot wait! I know I will miss them this summer, but I am looking forward to the break.

Our class went swimming 8 out of the last 10 (school) days, and I really loved it. It broke up our afternoons, and today, we were all talking on how the day kind of went on and on, and on how tired we were...and realized that it was b/c we weren't going swimming today...sadness! The children now think that swimming is over, so school must be over, so they can be all crazy....umm..yah, no! Ha!

I also discovered that the park/swimming pool within walking distance to my house. I met up with my friend on our walk last wk, and I realized that it was super close (I knew that it was close, but I didn't know that it was THAT close!). So I expect that I will be spending a lot of time there!

I saw my friend's daughter at church yesterday. She was in our wedding as Flower Girl 10 yrs ago! Oh boy...did I feel old! She is almost 19, and she looks just like her mom! We talked about adult things...and I just thought...wow..I am old!!! #thestruggleisreal #iamold

I adulted hard last week, and I bought a T-Fal fry pan (that we still need to use..ha!). It was for my birthday. Anker had gotten a GC from CT awhile back (he got it bc he had spent a certain amount), and he told me to go and buy myself something for my birthday (he doesn't shop for gifts much, though, to his credit, he did try to find something for me at the dollar store). It was 20 bucks down from $70. #adultingishardyo

It was super hot/muggy here in town, but when we got to my parents', we were FREEZING! I had to make a freaking fire! IN JUNE! Yah, I wasn't impressed..I was, however, impressed that I made a fire!! #shesstillgotskillz

We have some hard-core flooding here in town (well, all around the Interior, really). I went down twice last (June 2nd) week to one of the local parks, and the river was up pretty far into the parking lot. Then, my friend and I went down around 6 (three hours later), and the river had come up even more! It has receded a bit now (I went down last Wednesday, and it had gone down a lot), but it was kind of scary there, for awhile.

My niece's baby shower is next week, and I am head down there for the day for it. It will be great to see my brother and his wife, and of course, the new baby! It should be a fun day!

I have been watching various tv shows, and movies (either on TV or on DVD) lately. I was into a few shows on HGTV, but I was getting overwhelmed by all of the various episodes (I would set the PVR to whenever they would come on), so I just ended up deleting the series. I still want to watch THE FOUNDER, and a few others. I hope that since no good shows will be on this summer that I will be able to watch my own movies that I have, as well as maybe finish watching FRASIER. and of course TBBT, and FRIENDS.

Last week was our last Chapel of the school year. During the year, the older kids get buddied up with the younger kids (I think this is the first year that they have done this..though the K's and Grade 12's have always been buddied up). It has been really fun, and neat the see the older buddies with their younger buddies. Once a month, we did a project with the buddies, and it was really fun. Well, last week was our last "real" chapel of the year, and we had an entire school chapel (i think they only do this twice a year), and it was super fun! It was held out in the court yard, and the kids had a ton of fun  jumping around, singing, and doing the Congo Line. I hope we do it again next year.

I am getting a night guard, and I only have to pay $23 of it! They did 5 impressions awhile back, then they wanted me back to to the bottom...and while I was there, they said that they need to the do the top again, too! I nearly threw up this time. Thankfully, my friend (who is also a CDA) was there, and that helped. I told them that if they needed to do it again, I wasn't getting the night guard!

I was able to test some products out for a friend who does Arbonne (well, I have two friends who do it, but this person gave me some things to test out), and I really liked them. I will try to do a short review on my blog about it the next while.

Just a quick recap on LAST (June 2-4): Friday, I went to a BBQ at my friends house, then I met up for coffee with some other friends after a co-worker's bridal shower dinner. Saturday, I hung out, then I ran a few errands. I went to CT to grab shop for gifts, and then my friend and I got a Starbucks drink, and went for a walk. Then we drove down to the river to check out the water levels. Sunday, I had full intentions of going to church, but Anker and I ended up talking, and we watched the news. I sat outside for awhile, reading, then I went to H's soccer game. We grabbed a quick drink and snack afterwards, and then I came home. I think I watched a movie or something in the evening, and went to bed (late, as usual)!

I will do a birthday weekend recap/wrap up either tomorrow or Wednesday. It will be epic, let me tell you!!!

I think that about sums up our life. I like doing things LL posts in point form...they make it easy and not has long and stressful.

Here are some pics to end off this post:

 Road construction near our house...it has gotten worse since this picture was taken.

My T-Fal pan :)

Shall we gather at the River? :)

Depression and Anxiety

I was looking through April's issue of Glamour Magazine today, and there was a section about Mental Health, and since that seems to be very popular right now, I thought I would go ahead and share some of my struggles with Anxiety and Depression.

My Mom had PPD back before it was even popular. I won't go into her struggle, but I will say that she suffered from it pretty bad. Thankfully, she was healed from it, and when asked, she will gladly share her story with you. I was about 5 when got it after she had my younger brother. Fast forward to when I was 17. I had negative thoughts and what I know now is Anxiety. I had this for about a year, and it was not fun, let me say. I worried..A LOT! I went crazy with it, and I am so thankful that Mom was there to help me through it. I never thought of going on meds...I am not sure that they would have helped at the time, anyway...or maybe they would have.

Anyway...my second bout of it was when I was living in Calgary in the early 2000's. I was in my mid-20's. Again, with the thoughts, anxiety. I ended up going antidepressants/antidepressives, and they did a world of wonder. I started on Celexa, and then I went to Effexor XR, and it worked. Depression was just starting to go mainstream, especially with the internet. I moved back home to BC, and I shortly after, I went off of the meds. I didn't need to be on them, and I was doing well. I got married, we tried to get pregnant, then I got sick, then we found out that we might not be able to have kids. That was in December 2010. It was in February 2011 that things started to get bad again. I tried to stave off going on meds, or even seeing my Dr. I was too ashamed to talk to him about it, and certainly too ashamed to talk to anyone else about it. That was when Facebook and its groups were getting really popular, so I joined a few (I am quite a few MH, and Anxiety groups, though I don't post on/in them often), so being in them did help a bit. It was good to "talk" with people who had been dealing with similar situations as me. I am not sure when it was, but (not sure when I started this, but it is now June 12, and I should probably finish this up! I don't even remember what my train of thought was in/for this sentence!) things got pretty bad, so I decided to go to my doctor, and he gave me the same meds that I was on a few years prior. Well, I guess my body didn't like the medication this time, b/c I had some sort of horrible reaction: I was sick, and way more anxious than I had ever been. I think it was as close to a nervous breakdown as I had ever been. I finally convinced him to switch me over (he told me to just keep on it, and it may or may sort itself out) to my current meds, and I haven't looked back. I am on my meds, just a small dose, and I will probably stay one them for the rest of my life.

The point is, we shouldn't feel ashamed of it. Christians especially feel the stigma of having mental illness, whatever it may be. Christians are "supposed" to have it all. We are supposed to be happy and have it together all the time. Umm...guess what? We don't! NO ONE should feel ashamed to have a mental illness. Should you seek help and treatment? Yes! Do not ignore it. But please, oh please, don't be ashamed of it. Talk about it. Pray about it. Read about it. Do devotions (if you read the Bible) about it. Read the Bible on it (type in Depression in the Bible, and it will tell you where you can read about it). Being anxious can either be situational, or mental/emotional/on going. However you suffer from it, it sucks. Depression is like a black hole that you feel like you can't get out of. I hope that whoever is reading this that make you feel less alone. Get help. Talk to someone. You (and God) got this! You are never alone.

Friday Favourites (on Monday!)!!

Happy Monday, Friends! I hope you are had a great wknd, and that your week is off to a great start. We are still slugging away at school in Canada, so no summer holidays yet! I do need to do another Life Lately Post, cause I have such an interesting and exciting life! Ha! I haven't even journaled in three weeks. I just haven't really felt like writing, I guess. I am too busy reading magazines, working and watching tv.

Here are my favourites from the last week (please note that most of these things happened after Friday....oooh, well):

1) Connecting with Friends:

I have been super bad about going to church lately, but I will say that I went on the 28th, and it was really nice. We have a potluck once a month after church, and since it was potluck Sunday, I ended up going. It was nice to connect with others again. On the 2nd of June, I went to a BBQ with my girls group (that originated from our church), and it was really fun. I even hit up another after party of a co-worker's bridal shower dinner. Well, "after-party" may be a bit of a stretch...it was more like coffee in a coffee shop! I wished that I could have gone to the dinner, but I already had plans before this one came up. It was fun to hang out with them for some of the night, though. Saturday, the 3rd, my friend from work and I went out for a drive, a Starbucks, and a walk. We had lots of giggles and fun, as always.

2) New BBQ:

Not sure if I posted this or not, but Anker bought a new charcoal BBQ a few weeks ago. We have used a few times already, and we love it. We are currently trying to BBQ a pizza. I read about it, and I thought it would be fun to give it a go...so far, it's not great...it's taking forever to BBQ/heat up.

3) New Sandals:

I have 4 pairs of sandals/flip flops, and NONE of them seem to work for me. My feet get SUPER sore, and/or they leave weird stains on the bottoms of my feet. I actually got a GC to Winner's for my birthday (more on that in another post), and I was planning on using that, but my Sister-in-law Cady, and I ended up going shopping on Sunday, and I found a pair for $30, I hate spending that much sandals..anyway...they actually are fairly comfortable!!! I will post pics on IG in the next day or so.

4) Steeped Tea Scones:

I bought some more tea and I also wanted to try their scone mix, so I bought that too. I got it on Friday, and I took the mix to my parents (more on that), and I made them on Saturday. Oh my...can I just say, that they are delightful? Even my mom, who makes her own scones, said they were pretty good. The ones I got were the blueberry white chocolate chip..and I want to try more out. I am not sure who ate the last of them...the last I heard they were at the top of the fridge, never more to be seen! Pics of that are on my IG, too.

5) Birthday Shenanigans:

It was my birthday on Friday, and I had a lovely day! I got cards and presents from my co-workers, which was amazing. I even got a couple of more cards today at work. I went out for supper on Friday, with my Mom, Dad, Anker and H (more on that later), at White Spot, and it was really good. Afterwards, we all drove back to the ranch. Anker and I have a lovely weekend, although it was very cold. It rained nearly all day on Saturday. We were all a bit bored, but it was great to get away.

Victoria Day Long Wknd

Yes, it is nearly Friday, and I am blogging about last wknd..oooh well :)

It was a long wknd last wknd here in Canada, which is Victoria Day Long Weekend. Generally, the weather has been really crappy (from what other ppl have said, and from what I can remember), but last wknd was HOT!!! It was a four day wknd, as it was a PD Day at our school (the district had theirs last Monday), and we EA's didn't have to go...which kind of is a bummer, money-wise, but great, time-wise!

Friday, I slept in, and then I spent most of the morning outside in our yard, reading magazines. I had breakfast and coffee outside, too :) At around 1, I hung out in our room, and then I went to the library, then Starbucks to grab a cold drink, and then went to my friend/co-worker's/boss' house to look after her kids for the evening. Her kids are really sweet, and I think they liked me, which is good! I came home and then hung out for awhile (I think I watched TV), and then went to bed.

Saturday, I woke up at 8 (on my own..weird!), and we had plans on going to the Famers' Market, but Anker wasn't feeling well, so we didn't go. I grabbed breakfast, and we ate together and watched Big Bang, and then I went outside for a bit to read some more. I ended up going to meet my coffee friends for coffee, but I was a bit grumpy, and tired, and didn't really enjoy it. I went to Walmart, and I got a few things. As I was leaving, I saw my friend who works in the Vision Centre, so I visited for a bit, then I left. I went to the library, and I was going to text Anker about something, when I couldn't find my phone. I realized that I had probably left it at Wal-mart. I had a mild panic attack, praying that it was there, and not left in the parking lot somewhere, and thankfully it was where I had left it. I went back up, spent more money, ran more errands, and then came home for a couple of hours. Anker had some supper, but I didn't eat, as I was going out later to meet another co-worker/friend/boss and her husband, family and friends for her husband's birthday. I was really tired, but I had said that I would go, so I went. It was a nice time, but as I was coming home, I started feeling really sore and sick, so I just went right to bed.

Sunday, I woke up with a mild (real) panic attack. As for the reason,  I am not totally sure. I think it was just too many people, and knowing that I had planned on spending parts of the rest of the weekend with more people kind of freaked me out. I ended up staying home and relaxing, then I went  and met up with a friend at a local park. We sat and visited for 4 hours. I grabbed supper, and hung out for the rest of the night.  Anker and I watched STORKS, which was pretty cute, and then I watched THE INTERN, which I had watched before, and I liked it then, and I liked it now. I watched an episode of Dateline that I had recorded it awhile back, which was about the Life and Death of Princess Diana. I went to bed around 11 or 12.

Monday,  slept in, and hung out in the morning. I think I ran out for a bit, and then came back and hung out for a bit, then I went to my friend's place, where we had a lovely potluck. We ended the evening with words of encouragement, and prayer. I came home around 10, and then went to bed around 11.

That was my wknd! I loved having 4 full days off, but I was ready to get back to work on Tuesday.

Life Lately

I feel like I should do a bit of a life lately post..not that we have been doing anything exciting, but is nice to have a post about normal life (vs a link up post, or one about infertility).

Our garden is doing very well, no thanks to me. Anker has done a great job at planning, planting, and maintaining it. If you want to check out any pictures, hop on over to my IG page.

The city is putting in some new line or something, so they are busy playing in the dirt! When I got home from work and errands today, the pavement had turned into gravel. Awesome.

As stated before, my niece was born on May 23rd. She is so adorable! I cannot wait to see her. I may have to put a picture on Instagram.

It was two years ago this week that our friend Matt died. I still can't believe that it has been that long. I miss him all the time.

I bought my first watermelon today, and I think I will be throwing some of it away. I never know what to look for when I buy them.

I gotta say, I am tote jealz of seeing everyone's IG/FB/Blogging posts about their kids' last day of school today. We still have 4 more wks left! One the other side, though...we don't go back until after Labour Day, so you may be laughing at us now, but we will be laughing at you all when you go back the beginning or middle of August :)

Anker and I haven't done a ton together lately. We will watch the odd movie, and the news, and of course, we will have a chat, and we will run errands together, but we haven't done a whole ton. We did for a walk awhile back, which was nice.

I had a very weird acid reflux/heartburn thing happen a few weeks ago, and it got so bad, that I went to the hospital. I didn't know if I was having a heart attack or not, and I wanted to be sure. Anyway, it was heartburn, but it still bothered me at times (it hurt to swallow when I drank or ate), so I did another follow up with my doc, and he suggested that I have a barium swallow done. It hasn't hurt lately, so that is good, but I want to make sure that there is nothing wrong.

Anker is got another tooth pulled on Tuesday. Pretty soon, he will have to get a full set of dentures. He got a top set 10 yrs ago, but they no longer fit him. Hopefully, by the end of the  year, he will have both top and bottom in.

Calico is so presh and adorbs. She always makes us laugh, and we love her so much. Anker took her to get her well kitty check up a few weeks ago, and she is doing great.

I found two tops today for $21. I feel like I need to get a whole new summer wardrobe, but I will just get what I really need (tops and a couple of pairs of shorts/capri pants).

Our neighbours moved out last week. I hope we get nice people.

Let's talk tv, shall we? Grey's ended really well. I am sad that Stephanie died (or whatever happened), but she wasn't my favourite character, so I will survive. The last few weeks, the show has been very interesting...which is great, b/c for a few weeks there, it was a bit boring. But, I am glad that it ended with a bit of a twist. How about Call the Midwife? I haven't watched the last episode of this season yet, but this has been a good one! I am so glad that Shaleigh is going to have a (nother) baby! I will probably watch the final episode this wknd. Saving Hope is on a break for a month, and then they will air the last of the series. I am very sad. I cannot seem to find SH anywhere, which is weird.

I don't have to pay my student loan for the next 6 months! I did an RAP application, and I got the word that I don't have to pay a thing until the end of October! I did this 6 months ago, and I still had to pay $80, which is better than $176, but I am very glad that it is now 0!!


I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Five on Friday

Happy Thursday/Friday!  I hope your week has been lovely!!

Here are my faves from the week:

1) Kahjianna Kinshosa was born on May 23rd, weighing 6lbs 10z. She is my new niece, y'all! My brother Seth, and his wife Naomi (who's wedding we went to two years ago), and I cannot wait to meet her! Her name is pronounced caw gee anna.

2) We got a/c in our house the other day, and in our car today. Anker was able to find it at a local store  for $80, vs going to the shop for $150. I hope that it lasts at least for a few weeks (there is a leak).

3) I had an impromptu visit with my friend Jill and her two kids yesterday. She tracked me down at my second home (Starbucks..lol), and we had very nice short visit. I also had a nearly two hour visit with my brother last night. He never calls me (well, not often), and we always have nice visits when we do.

4) I am looking forward to the summer. We will be celebrating 10 yrs of marriage the end of July, and I am taking a one week course on Autism, which should be fun. Not sure what else will be going down, but I have things in the iron (in the works), as far as a job goes.

5) I am going to an Epicure party tonight (I am leaving soon), and I met up with some church friends for a potluck on Monday (I will do a weekend wrap up post soon). We had a lovely time, and lots of yummy food....and I only had one serving of pie (I love pie).