Guilty (Not Guilty)

I sometimes feel guilty for spending all day (nearly everyday) on the computer; watching tv/movies, reading magazines, going out, etc. But then I stop, think, and realize that I shouldn't feel that way.

Why you may ask? Well, we don't have kids, our house is small, and unless I am doing a major cleaning job/task, it usually only takes me an hour to clean a room. We don't have a yard, and we are renting, so we don't have yard work, or home repairs/maintenance to do. I am working on an on call basis, so when I don't work, I usually am being, well, lazy. Add that to my husband is a bit of a hoarder (ok, we both are), and that makes for a very not-want-to-clean-attitude. I am not really involved in our church on a leadership basis (ok, that maybe could change a bit), and I am not volunteering at any place right now (I have in the past, and I may again in the future), and until a few weeks ago, I didn't have any family in town. Yes, I/we do go out with friends, but they are all busy, or when they can get together, I am working. Some people may think or say that I am lazy; maybe I am. Maybe I am self-preserving; I don't know. I only do what I can do. I love to feel needed, and I love to be productive. I know when I get stuff done (cleaning, an organization project), I feel 100 times better than I did when I started.

So, yes, I feel guilty, but then I don't. I have to realize that this the time or chapter in my life right now where I can afford to be a bit lazy. I can't let anyone make me feel guilty for what I do, or don't do. Everyone has their important things in life. That that's ok (like when I talked about things I don't understand; smocking, fad diets, etc) that is their important thing. And that is cool. That is what makes us all different.

So, excuse me while I go and read my magazines. I am very busy! :)


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