Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Tell us Tuesday; Capture Your Grief Days 3 &4

Thank goodness yesterday is over! Actually, everything that frustrated me yesterday is still frustrating me today, but at least it's a new day, right?

As I type this, it is a foggy Autumn morning; I love it! I got to work early, as hubby had an appointment downtown, so I was here for a few minutes before I had to open the store.

After I left work yesterday, I ran a few errands, and went home. Hubby had not (to my chagrin) had started or even thought of what to make for supper, so I started in. I am really trying to eat healthier, and I also want to try to implement Meatless Mondays at least once a week. I remember asking my dad (who is sheep rancher, and soooo not a vegetarian) if he ever did Meatless Monday's, and he looked at me as if I had 4 heads! I asked them again awhile back, and they said no. My dad is a person who eats meat 3-4 times a day. True story. Anyway, I looked in our fridge, and found a lot of veggies that needed eating up, and I came up with this;
It's a veggie stir fry with brown and some white rice. I usually don't like stir frys, but I thought I would give it a whirl, even hubby who is a picky eater liked it.
 
Here is the salad I had on Sunday night
Doesn't it look DELISH!!??
 
Here are some of the pictures I took on my phone on our way back on Sunday.


 
 
 
This is the view of a part of our city going up a hill towards our house.

 
One thing I forgot to mention on my wknd post was that I added to my first ever blogger contact to my phone!! I have a few blogging friends on FB, but Sky-Ann is the first blogger that I have added to my phone:) We had a fun phone/texting conversation on Friday night while I was out for coffee:)
 
 
 
Ok, so on to the next part of today's post/subject. I shared with hubby on how I am doing this project, and I explained (or rather, tried to) to him on how it works. I want him to be involved in my blog, and this subject/project was no exception.
Capture Your Grief Days 3&4 deal with Myths and Legacy respectively.
 
3. Myths: Do you believe there are any myths about grief? You could write the myth on a piece of paper and photograph it.

There are two myths that I find people like to tell me; or that I tend to think.

Myth 1: You can't mourn something you never had. A few people have said this to me. I can tell you that it isn't true. You mourn for something that you can't have; a life that you had always thought that you were going to have; and had hoped for. It IS possible to mourn something (especially if you really wanted it, and it was very close and tangible) that you haven't had. Trust me. I do. I mourn nearly every day.

Myth 2: You will get over it-Eventually. Like wounds, it will heal; sort of. It lessens; you have a day, a week or even a month or year where children/infertility isn't as strong. You go to school, you get a job, you travel, you enjoy life; you nieces and nephews; but trust me, it isn't the same as having your own. Then at night, when everyone has gone home, and you are alone; you may watch a show or a commercial, or something will trigger it (more on triggers on another day), and you instantly get sad. So, I actually partially believe this, but not fully. When talking with hubby about this last night and this morning, he agreed with me; that it lessens, but it never completely goes away.



4. Legacy: Do you believe your child left a legacy behind? It could be something very simple but meaningful.

I actually don't like the word "legacy". It seems so..I don't know.....new age-y, or something so large. That being said, I can appreciate why people use it (and yes, I have used the word a few times). The one thing I am doing/have done since finding out that we couldn't have kids is writing and sharing this blog. I started blogging right after we were married, because it was the "Cool thing to do", but in the last year, I have wanted to hone in on our infertility life. I want people to know that there is another life other than having kids.  I want people to know that infertility hurts; just because we can't have kids (or we haven't lost a baby), it doesn't mean that we don't hurt and mourn. I used to think that you had to have kids to have a blog. True Story. Now that I am involved in link ups, there are A LOT (maybe even more than) of ladies (let's face it, ladies blog WAY more than men!), who either don't have kids, or who are single. I also share and get involved in linkups to share my blog, so that people can at least try to understand what the life of an infertile couple looks like.

Another thing that I would like to do is start a RESOLVE (or some other kind of infertility group) in our town. I don't run, but I would love to have a run/walk in support of infertility awareness (and probably pregnancy/infant loss as well) in this area. The thought of starting and organizing something like that, however, is very overwhelming, so I doubt that I will ever get it off the group. Also, would we get any support? Would anyone come?

1 comment:

Sky-Ann @ The Little Button said...

Hi April, love your post. Glad today is a new day :)

I think that's great that your trying to eat healthier. I think that is it so important for our health. We try to eat as healthy as possible. I always feel better when I don't get into the junk. It is ok though to treat yourself. Last night I got into the organic rice coco puffs. Protein is really good for you and is filling so if you go meatless remember to eat some eggs or nuts as you wont feel full. Also if you don't have some protein I find your more likely to snack.

Oh thanks for the mention!!! I feel special :)