Monday, July 14, 2014

In a Funk

Happy Sunday!!! (now Monday, as I stared on this yesterday)

I write this in the midst of a HEAT wave! That's right, everyone...it is 37C! Even for here, it's hot! I hope everyone had a great weekend. I did...I worked yesterday, and had a great shift. I unwound at McD's and came home and went right to bed,(written today) not even doing my FB games.

****DISCLAIMER****

I am not an idiot; I know that there are people that are worse off than me (us), and that are in worse off situations, and I realize that what I am experience is/are first world problems. This is my life right now, and I am venting, but by no means am I saying that my life is worse off than others'.

One of the reasons that I blog (other than to talk about our life as a childless couple, and for people to see that side of life) is to be real. I hate blogs that are all about fluff and nonsense. I will ALWAYS be respectful of my family, which includes my hubby, even though we may be struggling, or whatever at that moment. But I also want and NEED to be real. Life isn't about going on trips, getting free swag, and having lovely kids. Life is, well, LIFE!!! It is HARD! And I wanted to show that. Of course, like I said, I will always be respectful of family, and I will try not to be SUPER negative, but I will be real. That's just how I roll.

Back to my regularly scheduled rant :)

So YESTERDAY (Sunday), I was having a bit of an off day. It started with Anker not wanting to go to church. Fine. I went alone. There was a baby dedication, which was fine (usually I find them sad), b/c it was friend in the church's baby, and I went to her shower a few months back. I went to Starbucks to have a snack, and to read some of my new book. I am into reading books again after a few months of not reading them. I go in phases. Anyway, moving on. I went to a friends place, where her daughter (whom I am also friends with) invited me, which was great. We had a nice chat in the sun while her 6 yr old sun played in the pool. Then it got interesting. He was being a brat. He was actually rude. I can usually take kids' brattiness, but I was already in a mood, so when he lipped off, I actually almost cried. Is it just me, or are 6 yr olds brattier than they were when I was a kid? Anyway, I took my leave soon after. Oh, and did I mention that he was rude TO ME?

Anyway, after that, I decided to go to the beach. I asked/texted EVERYONE who lived here on my list/Fb friends list. Ok, not everyone, but a lot. NO ONE took me up on it. I would say that my life is pretty sad when NO ONE takes you up to go to the beach. I was feeling bummed. Like no one cares. I KNOW that's not true, but I feel that way sometimes. I do have friends here, mainly my church friends, whom I do love, but they all have busy lives, and it's summer, and they are away, etc. And to be honest, I love them, and we have great times together, but I am not super close to them (except for one, but she was away). They are older, which is fine (since I usually get along better with older people, anyway, although I have some fairly good friends who are younger, too). But sometimes, it is nice to connect with someone who is around your age. Right now my closest friends are the people I work with (coworkers). I have always had a problem making/having friends, though. Ever since I was young. My former BFF came into town (my hometown), and never even bothered to call to see if we could hook up. I am living in the same town as another childhood (and her sister, and we were friends, too), and we NEVER call, and never meet up. I actually forget that she is here sometimes.  But another friend of mine is moving back here, and she is very close, so I am VERY happy about that!!!

So, yah, back to yesterday, I wasn't feeling the love. I did finally call one of my closest friends who lives in Alberta  and who is going through similar things as me, and talked for awhile. I was explaining to her on how I was feeling and she got it. I am SO happy that she did. It made me feel a bit better.

I was also a bit sad that Anker didn't want to do anything with me. Sometimes, he doesn't want to go anywhere or do anything, which is fine, but I get tired of it. As my SIL said yesterday, "are you a married-single woman too?" which summed it up perfectly.  I know Anker has bad/sick days. That I can live with (which, to be fair, he said yesterday he wasn't feeling well), but when he doesn't want to do things on his "good" days, that is when I get upset. I was hoping that we could go to BP last night for supper, as we had a $25 GC, but he didn't even want to do that. I did get a him a slurpee, and grabbed some burgers from Wendys (Cause, seriously, who wants to cook ANYTHING when it's over 40C outside?).

So, btwn feeling like I had no friends, and being a bit frustrated with hubby, and doing things alone, yesterday was not the greatest of days. I DID make the best of it, though. I went to the park, where I am pretty sure that I was the only normal/sane person there, and I grabbed a dip in the river, which was great. Relaxed in the evening, and then my aunt called me to see if I wanted to come over. We had a great evening, with tea and DQ Buster Bars for a late night snack. I came home around 11:30 and I ended up talking to my friend for nearly an hour. Hubby was till doing his project on the computer. So, in the end, it was actually not a bad day, but I was/am in a bit of a funk about the friend thing....I guess I just do what I can do, and it is what it is :)

Does anyone else have days like that?? Where you feel that you don't have any good friends? Or ANY type of friends for that matter.

Here are some pictures from yesterday...



The sunset from my aunts place (they are house sitting). Love it!!

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