"You should Just" (Some of this is copied)

First off, when I joined with Kelly in her SUYL post, I had no idea that I would get the number of views that I did! I got 500+ views over the weekend (and counting!!). Most of those are from Kelly's page, too, which means that a lot of them were from the SUYL-infertility post. That means that people are reading (or at least just glancing at it). I had hoped to have a few more comments from the SUYL link up, but oh well.

I have come across a few new blogs re: infertility, and one of them Alice Anne's blog is one that I am now following. The post that I read was really good. I was perusing her blog, and she has a current post that I found amazing, and really spoke to me. I have copied part of it, but I also have thought of a few things of my own that I could add..

Here it is...

"You Should Just..."

Stop trying to adopt. Have your own babies.
(As if we're adopting solely for the fun of it.)

Adopt from foster care. Adopt internationally.
(Like we haven't considered all our options or like either of those options are easier.)

Use this agency, or that agency.
(Like there aren't a million agencies and many that require upfront or outrageous fees or only work in their local areas.)

Advertise yourselves more.
(I don't like the idea of having to pimp ourselves out.)

Try IVF. Use a surrogate.
(Hello, expensive. Plus, probably unnecessary. No one jumps right to IVF or a surrogate without exhausting other options.)

Try acupuncture, primrose oil, this that or the other that worked for so-and-so.
(Fertility is complex and personal and one get-pregnant-quick thing doesn't work for everyone.)

Relax. Have faith.
(Because it's my lack of faith that is keeping me from getting pregnant, right?

Feel lucky you have only one child. Because I have (fill-in-the-blank number of kids) and it's hard!

Be grateful you don't have to go through pregnancy.

Get over it.

( -_-

Don't you love people's comments?

I completely agree with these statements above..


Here are a few more that I thought of...

Adopt/Foster to Adopt
(We can't. We aren't healthy enough, don't make enough $$, etc.)

(We have thought of that, but neither of us want to go down that route. We don't want to love then lose a baby/child)

Enjoy being an Aunt or an Uncle (family or church family/friends)
(As if we haven't thought of that, and we aunt/uncle to a few kids in our church/friends, but we aren't super close with any of them. Also, it is pretty hard to be an uncle/aunt to your nieces and nephew when they live far away)

Work with Kids
(Gee, I hadn't thought of that. I have been trying to get work with kids. Nothing yet.)

Be glad you're alive (re: my health scare 4 years ago)
(Yes, I am very glad I am alive, but my heart still breaks)

Enjoy not having Kids
(Yes, a lot of the time we do, but there are times when I desperately wish that we had one)

Use a Donor Sperm (ok, granted, I don't think anyone has said this to us, but I am sure people have thought of it)
 (Sure, we would love to, but I due to my health reasons, I really shouldn't carry a baby, plus it's expensive).

Lose Weight (eat healthy, etc)
(again, I would, but what's the point if I can't even carry a baby?)

Fertility Drugs
(Really? I hadn't thought of that. Ever)

Have Hubby go and get checked out...(re: his SA results)
(He won't go. He now says he is too old.)

...and there you have it!

There are also things that you shouldn't say to an infertile women, but I don't know where it is now...(I saw it on a group somewhere).


Grandma W. said…
It would be very helpful/enlightening if you would post some things you SHOULD say to a childless/infertile friend.

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