As I have stated, in my previous posts here and here, I just celebrated a birthday. But not just any birthday, the big 4-0. I really had a hard time leading up to it. I know that part of it has to do with our not having kids, and our life not being what we really want right now. I also am not spiritually where I want and need to be. A part of me cannot believe that I am 40. That just seems...old. I know that I am not old...I don't feel old (at least not most of the time!!), and I don't think I look old. Other than being overweight, and not super healthy (PCOS, diabetes, heart/lung issues), I actually look fairly good. My skin and hair are my best features, I think. I don't do thing to/with my skin, and I just wash and wear my hair, and I usually wear it up (due to being super thick, and it makes me hot). I rarely wear make up (I will go for weeks without wearing so much as lip gloss...I know...bad), and I still think I look pretty good. So, that part, I am (sort of) ok with. I know I need to get healthier, and lose weight, but that will come in time.
Am I where I want to be? Not really, but in a way, that's ok. I don't know where God wants me / us, or what He has in store for me/us. I know that God isn't finished with me/us yet. I am thankful that God is a God of second (and third, and fourth!!) chances. I am thankful that, even when I fall, He is there to help me up. I am thankful that He has been with me for the past 40 years.
My life hasn't been easy. I had a hard start to life....I was born with no skin over my stomach, and was in the hospital for nearly 2 years....most of which was because I had so many breathing problems, some of what was the reason that I got sick 6 years ago. My mom was pregnant with my brother when she brought me home. It took me awhile to eat and talk (which, clearly, I don't have a problem with now!!), and walk. I had my major surgery when I was 4, and still remember it to this day. From all that, I have anxiety and separation issues; I tend to go into my own world....I hate groups, I love being alone...always have...and yet, I love people. Odd, hey?
I loved my elementary and high school years. I HATED school, and my mom took my brother and I out at the end of gr 4 and 2 respectively to homeschool us, and neither of us looked back since. I lived on a farm, and had the time of my life. I would play for HOURS on my own. I made my own friends (yes, imaginary!). It was harder for me to make real friends (still is, really), and I always been drawn to older people. I loved babies, and I couldn't wait until Mom and Dad would have one (preferably a girl) for me to play with. I was very disappointed when Adam was a boy...lol. Anyway....I won't go into a yearly play by play...but suffice it to say, I have had a very interesting life..moved to Calgary to attend Bible College, moved back home....I went to Europe, started a course, got sick, got better, finished said course, moved to Calgary, then Regina, moved back home for a year, travelled around BC to try to find a job, moved to Calgary (yes, a third time), had a series of very interesting jobs, friends, adventures, and living arrangements, moved back to BC, where I had a few more VERY interesting living arrangements, met my husband (online), moved again, tried a a few different churches, had a few more jobs, took a course, had a couple of more jobs, and then had the last job where I have been for the last 2 years.
Essentially, I have moved, 18 times, had almost as many jobs, took two courses (including a mini courses), gained 1 husband, three cats (plus 5 kitties), 1 fish, 3 cars, lived in three provinces, 1 major trip, gained 3 nieces, 1 nephew (I also know that I have a few nieces, nephews and even a great niece in the States), 5 brothers, 1 sister, two parents, 6 sisters in law, 2 brother in law, and countless relatives. I have seen three (including when I was born) MAJOR illnesses, several health issues, including infertility, and his also includes hubby's illnesses), I have I have seen deaths of two grandparents, several great aunts and uncles, and one good friend. Wheww!!! And my life is only half over!!!
All my life, things have been harder for me than for others....even just trying to live was tough...school, getting my drivers license, Post-secondary education, work, meeting someone/getting married have all taken me longer than most of my friends my age. I sometimes wish that things would be (and still would be) easy. But guess what? I am glad that things have been hard (well, most of the time!!), I think that it has made me who I am. Yes, I can appear weak, and tired, but I am also strong, and can put up a fight if need be. I fight for myself, for my hubby, for family, etc. It sometimes looks like I am being lazy, and and times, maybe I am....but there is a fight in me...deep down, trust me!!!
I wish we had kids and/or were able to work or be missionaries in another country. I wish that I could go to an orphanage to hold babies and kids. I wish we could adopt or foster. I wish I were thinner, I wish I approached things differently sometimes, I wish I had more of a drive within me to do things..whether be it working towards being healthier, learning more/new things via reading (hey, magazines count, right?), I wish I wasn't as lackadaisical in some areas of my life. I am trying, and each year, I think I get a bit better (or worse..lol). I also don't seem to care (in a good way) what others think of me. I do what is best for me and our household. I definitely have learnt to say no (I need to say yes more..). I wish that I were happy, and more content (something that I am working on!!). I wish that I wasn't as moody, or judgemental (I tend to go in waves with this). I wish that I were more of a servant, were more spiritual, and more disciplined in having devotions and prayer time with God.
But there are also things that I love about me...I love that I am ok with who I am, but that I strive to be better. I love that I love people, love Jesus, and my hubby. I love that I am determined to get things done when the mood strikes me. I love that I am fierce when it comes to my family and friends. I love that I am good on FB/texting. I love that I try to make relationship with family. I love that people can come to me when they have a problem, or just want to chat. I love that I am a good friend. I love that I am a good wife, daughter, sister (well, at least most of the time!!!). I love that I know when to say no (see above paragraph). I love that I am a fun person to be around. I love that I (think!) I am an easy person to get along with. I love that I love kids! I love that I love working with people with disabilities. I love that I am not very materialistic. I love that I am not not high maintenance.
I could go on and on with these...but I won't. Instead, I will just say that I am happy that I have been through EVERYTHING that I have been through these past 40 years. I know that (as I have stated) that God has a plan, and that he continually working in our lives. I am happy that I am 40!!! 40 is fabulous, and it is the new 20 (or at least the new 30!!).
So....here are 40 things that I have learned, and some advice in the last 40 years....
1) Sleep is good for you
2) Never miss a chance to say something nice to someone
3) Having a good cry does wonders for your soul
4) Breakfast for supper is awesome
5) Popcorn for supper is the best
6) You can never go wrong by going to someone's funeral
7) Dollar stores are the best thing ever
8) God Has a Sense of Humour
9) Giving your infertile friend a card, gift, is the best.thing.ever
10) Don't go to something (or do something) if you really don't want to (obvs, I am not talking about things that HAVE to get done..work, etc)
11) Iced tea is the best drink ever; followed by a Shirley Temple
12) Magazines are awesome. Books are pretty great, too. And yes, they are better than e-readers.
13) Starbucks is awesome
14) Use your local library
15) Don't worry about what others think
16) Love yourself and your body (no matter what your size) first.
17) Never pass up an opportunity for a free lunch/coffee/drink (including invites to their house).
18) Don't swear and/nor gossip; it isn't classy, nor is it lady-like
19) Tell your family/friends you love them (never pass up an opportunity)
20) Make birthdays a big deal
21) Make Mother's Day a big deal
22) Make Father's Day a big deal
23) Coffee with flavoured creamer is amazing
24) Explore your city, province/state/ before going anywhere else
25) Get a very good wedding photographer
26) A shower makes everything better
27) Make your anniversary a big deal
28) Make Valentine's Day a big deal (yes, even if you are single)
29) DVD's are better than Netflix, etc (but Shomi and CraveTV are OKAAAY (said slowly).
30) CD's are better than downloading songs
31) God Always Answers Prayers (even when we think it is the "wrong" answer)
32) Nothing tastes as good as lamb chops
33) Ribs come in at a close second, followed by seafood
34) A bubble bath with a magazine on a cold day and/or after a hard day is the best thing ever (maybe include a fun drink, too!!)
35) I am addicted to my cell phone.
36) Don't get addicted to your cell phone
37) God Has a Plan for You.
38) Call your mother
39) Love your spouse
40) God is Good. All.The.Time
There are obviously more...but those are some of the ones that I just thought of this evening, that I thought I would pass on.