Five on Friday/Random 5

Hello Friday!!!

I was going to add pictures to this wks post, but I just don't feel like uploading them to FB, then saving them, etc.

To be honest, I am a bit in a bad mood. Just really stressed....hubby is stressed....that being said, here are a few things that I enjoyed this wk.

1. Downton Abbey SSN 4.

A friend from our Bible Study who is a fellow DA fan felt that she needed to get me season 4. That's right, I can now FINISH the season at my leisure..love it.

2. Club Soda.

I love it with juice. It tastes good and b/c it has no sugar, you only have to put in a little bit of juice to make it drinkable. Love it.

3. Extra money and 2 more GC's.

We got taken to lunch today by the treasurure and his wife, and our mentors. They fave Anker a Thank you gift, two GC's and some money to help us out. It was muchly appreciated. We also went to visit our pastor, and he gave us a bit more money to help us. We were able to get our car insurance paid this month, and we divided the rest.

4. Scandal.

I have watched the first half of the first season. The jury (i mean me) is still out on whether or not I will continue after this season is finished, but I must say, I do quite like it.

5. Coffee Date.

Hubby and I had a date afternoon at Starbucks the other day. We each got a drink (cap for him, HC for me), and we shared a cookie. I know. we live a wild and crazy life. We had a nice time together; we talked about his appointment (which I will blog about later), and read the paper, and just people watched. We had a nice time.

Random 5 Friday

1. We have a new neigbour. She stole our parking spot. I already don't like her. I slept on the couch last night, to see if she is a partyer. She went home last night, and so far, seems to be quite. We shall see.

2. I am going to have to re-vamp my resume. I guess I am back to job searching. I may even have to do some volunteer work, just to get some experience.

3. I am totally into Y&R right now. Even Anker is into it. We are watching it every day. I don't like on how they are re-casting and getting rid of main (and old) characters, but it is good.

4. I have way too many magazines out from the library, but hey, I am not paying for them, so who cares, right? I currently probably have about 50 mags. Yup, I am a bit of a mag-junky.

5. We (or rather I) re-arranged some pictures in our house, and put some up on our entertainment unit, and on our wall. I am trying to make our little house a home.

Darkness

I will do a FOF/Random 5 Friday later today. For now, though, I wanted to talk a little about what I am (we) are going through. I was reading on a few of the blogs that I follow, and two of them were talking about walking through darkness.

I love the quote that I saw on Leanne's blog.

"Sometimes one has to walk through the often complete darkness of grief to embrace the light of joy to be found in challenging circumstances. Feeling that grief does not diminish the joy one feels at the end. In fact embracing the grief enables one to experience the joy more fully. Yet for some they see acknowledgement of the darkness as a detractor from the joy. If only they could understand that the darkness of night makes the sunrise stunning."

She and her husband have been going through a dark time since they found out their son has autism. In another blog I was reading, Brantley was talking about adding another child to their family. First, they were going to adopt again, and then they went through a year and a half with trying to get pregnant. There are others blogs that I frequent as well....a lot of them have children with special needs; a few other have lost babies, and are pregnant again. They are dealing with the joy in their grief. 

What I am trying to say, I guess, is that we are all going through our own darkness. It looks different to others. It may not even look like darkness to others reading/observing it. One person is dealing with infertility, others are dealing with severe financial problems (oh, wait, that's us!!) Other people are dealing with a loss of a baby, or sickness, or the loss of a loved one. 

We have been going through our own darkness. Loss of jobs, EI, unemployment, and of course infertility (although we aren't even trying or thinking of TTC right now..mainly because we can't) have all been our darkness lately. Honestly, it sucks. Big time. I try to stay positive. I try to not let others know (even from some of my family members) on/of what is going on. I am trying to be positive on FB as well, and even on our blog. It is hard. Our marriage is suffering big time. We DID have a date ystrdy, but those are few and far btwn lately. I actually started crying last night. I can't hold on any longer. I can't be strong for much longer. I am tired. I am sleeping in A LOT lately. I don't think it has much to do with my going to bed late/being a night owl, and not a morning person (although I don't like getting up earlier than 8 am!). My spiritual life is suffering. I go to church, but not every Sunday. When I do go, I sit in the balcony, and I play on my phone. I will often leave as soon as church is over, instead of talking to people. I am tired of pretending be positive with everyone. Pretending that life is ok. That we are doing awesome (altho I know some ppl in our church know that we aren't doing well). So, that is partly why I am staying at home and not connecting like I know I should. I do connect still, just not as much I used to. I do pray still. A LOT. 

I know good things have been happening. We got two gift cards, people are taking us out for meals, and my aunt is helping when and where she can. I am grateful, I am (we are), but I want a job, I want to make a difference in this world. I want to find something that is fulfilling for me. 

I don't know what God has in store for us. I don't know the end of the story; the end of this chapter. I am frustrated, but I am also excited. I know God is showing us something. I am trying to see it, but it is hard through the darkness. I am trying to see the goodness in the little things; the daily things that happen.

God is in control. I am trying to see this. Daily. Hourly. 

My first Blog Posts

I am going through my blog tonight, reading it (doesn't everyone read their own blogs?? LOL), and I thought it would be fun to post a few of my first blog posts. To see how bad, uh, I mean on how far I have come in the blogging world.

So...here we go...

Blog post number one

Blog post number two

Blog post number three
I was going to try and re-vamp it, as I was having problems with the pictures loading, and it looks odd, but I think I will keep it, you know, as a momemento (or something).

One of the firsts posts under my (our) new Blog title, Musings of a Childless Mama

One of my first blog link ups, and one of the first "real" blog posts, you know after I became a "real"  blogger!!

The first time I ever correctly uploaded a picture

My first "real" blog post/link up with pictures, etc.

The first blog post where I was able to properly link to other bloggers/posts/websites, etc.

I hope you all chk them out! Enjoy!

A Weekend Update, and On My Knees

Edited Tuesday Jan 28, 2014.

I am using this post as/for the blog link up at The Dwelling Tree for this weeks Let's Be Friends Blog link up :)

Happy Monday!!!

Even though there is no longer WS blog hop, but I wanted to do a weekend update anyway.

I have decided to BE in a good mood! I am tired of being depressed and grumpy! I KNOW this week will be awesome! It will also be a busy week. We have something going on every day, but except today this week. It is a good thing, as it keeps us busy, gets us out of the house a bit, and keeps us from going stir (house) crazy!

Friday as I said was a good day. My aunt said that she wanted to buy me some new shoes for when I get my new job. I had fun shopping for shoes. I even saw a few crazy ones!! I spent the rest of the day relaxing and wasting the day away. I did spend the rest of my WM GC on an US magazine, and grabbed a coffee at MCD's,and read for awhile, which as great. That evening, I started Scandal. I am still not sure what I think of it so far. I have only watched four epis so far, but I think I will continue with. I am half way through season 1 now. Around 9:30, my neighbour texted to say she was at Walmart, and asked if I wanted to shop with her. I met with her and we wandered around with nothing much to do. I bought some Club soda (FYI: my new fav drink is OJ and CS..YUMMO!!), and cat food. I know, I lead such an exciting life. You have to hold on to your hat when you're with me:) After our WM adventure, K invited me to her house. We watched a very odd movie, called "I Give it a Year". It was, well, interesting. I wouldn't recommend it, but it had some funny parts. I also helped her shave her cat. That was a very interesting experience!!! Came home around 1 am.

Saturday, I slept in, and relaxed for a bit, before going for coffee with the girls. I thought I had a free drink at SBX, but when I got there, it was a BOGO-Buy one Get one. I was about to leave without the girls seeing me (I didn't want to sit down without a drink, and I felt bad about having them buy me one), but they saw me, and offered to buy me one anyway. We had a nice time; visiting and relaxing, I love my girls!! I was going to grab a card from the dollar store, but it was too busy, so I left. Then it was off to the baby shower!

As I have stated here and here before, I usually find baby showers a little tough; a bit of an endurance contest, and I wasn't even sure if I was going to go. I told the Momma-to-be that I may not be able to come, as I didn't have enough money for the gift, and she was so sweet, and told me that I didn't have to have a gift in order to come. Somehow, her mom got wind of this, and asked if I could still come and take pictures (I usually take pictures when I go to church events) for her. I decided that I would go anyway. It was her first baby, and I felt that I should at least try to go. It was actually really fun! The mom-to-be, B, is due in in two weeks with a GIRL!! It is a usual Canadian custom to have the BS after the baby is born, but in the last few years, I have seen a lot more BS's happen before the baby is born. My SIL had one before N was born, and I have heard of a few others having it before. I honestly think that it should happen after. I mean, what if something happens to the baby when/after it's born? Plus you get to see and hold the baby. However, at this shower, there were two babies, and I got to hold our Associate pastors baby girl, Charisse (pronounced Karis-don't ask me why they chose to spell it that way) Emily who was born Dec 20th. She was SO cute!!!! I think one tear did fall when I held her. I quite enjoyed the shower, and I took pics on my friends camera, so I didn't take any on mine. She got TONS of gifts!!! She was so thankful!! I came home and relaxed and did who knows what until I got called out at 5:30. I did six deliveries, which was pretty fun. I am actually enjoying the job now. I don't mind doing it, and I was in a good mood. Came home and Fb'd before going to bed at, you guessed it, 1 am!!!

Yesterday, I slept in until 11. I actually nearly went to church, but I ended up staying in. We listened to the Christian Music Channel, and FB'd and hung out, and chatted with each other. We were going to go for our SBX date, but hubby wasn't feeling well, so I went to grab some drinks, and came home and watched a couple of movies. We watched Tangled, which we both loved.We also watched 2 Guns, which, if you can get passed the (too) many F-bombs that were used, and the bit of violence (PETA freaks beware!!), it was actually pretty funny. Hubs went to bed around 8:30, and I watched the last few minutes of Scandal (I had left in the middle of the 4th episode on Friday night), and Downton Abbey, and I watched Joel Osteen. Dad has been encouraging us to watch it. We all don't agree with 100% of what he says, but he is very encouraging to watch and listen to. I watched two prgrms that I had PVR'd, and I gotta say, that I really enjoyed them, especially the last one I watched, which was entitled "The Rain is Coming". It really spoke to me, and I was really encouraged after I had listened/watched it.

 After the prgrm, I did something that I hadn't done in awhile. I got on my knees, and I prayed. Hard. Well, I prayed. I prayed that I would get a job and SOON, and I thanked Him for all that he has (and will) done, and for how He has sustained us, through gifts, etc. I do pray, but I am probably not as fervrent as I should or I would like to be. I joke to my self and others that my life is a prayer. I pray all the time. I talk out loud to God. I thank Him. I cry (literally) out to Him. I just don't pray hard and on my knees like I know I should. I don't fast and pray. Last night, however, I got a yearning to get on my knees and really seek God, or at least pray. I am going to try to do this more often. I think this is what God wants His children to do; get on our knees, asking and thanking Him; in and for all things. Trust me, I am not theologian. I have my trust issues with God. I am not a perfect woman of God in the least. I have no clue on why I can't get a job (or haven't gotten one yet), and we can't have children. I don't always know or even believe that God has a plan for us; that He works His good in bad times. But I do know that God has sustained me (us) and I know He will continue to do so.

Have a great week!

Five on Friday (and maybe a few more)

Happy Friday, Ya'll!! I am excited to share my FoF with you this week!!!

Linking up with Darci and the other girls this week again for FoF :)

Let's get started, shall we?

1. Tangelo's

I found these beauties at Wa1mart the other day. They are pretty sour, but I still like them.

2. The best Spaghetti Dinner. Ever.

I made this last night. We are pretty much living on Pasta right now. Plus whatever we have in the kitchen. Well, last night, I tried a bit of a different "recipe" (if you can call it that), with ground lamb, extra carrots and celery added in the sauce. I also roasted garlic, something I had seen on one of my favourite cooking shows, and it actually worked. It was very good!!!

3. These shoes!

Aren't the a hoot? I went looking for runners (next FOF), and saw these babies. $300 and they are yours, ladies! The only store in Canada that is carrying them is in our town. Love it!!!

Of course, I had to try them on! I would like the pink ones, please!!

4. Gift Cards

Our friends gave us a couple of GC'S on Sunday (after they took us out for a wonderful dinner). We have been pretty much living on these this week.

5.Stuff for the house.

I bought a Valentine's Day cloth for our table, a mat (which when I brought it home, realized that I had bought one similar to that a few years ago) a VDay towel, and 4 microwash cloths. I love them all.

6. New Runners

My aunt was so sweet, and offered to buy me a pair of shoes, for when I get a job (which we all hope is soon). I love them. Sorry for the bad pic.

An Update on Us

Yes, I am still around :) I am not just blogging to link up with blog hops/links. I just am not in the blogging mood much lately. That being said, however, I am looking forward to being back in the blogging world.

This is my first real update (other than FoF, etc) since Christmas! I know, bad blogger am I. Carrying on.

Here are a few new tidbits worth sharing (I think).

Anker has gone and applied for EI. He can't work at the church anymore, due to his hip/tendon.
He got some blood tests done, and he needs to go for some follow up blood work.

Our tree is finally down. Well, the decorations are down. The tree and lights are still up. I have noticed that other people are doing this as well, so I don't feel so weird.

I have been very lazy lately. I have been doing job search stuff; going for interviews, etc, but when it comes to house stuff, I just seem to not want to do it. I have been basically been either on the computer, out, or sleeping. Ok, not quite, but it feels like that.

Hubby and I haven't had a date in forever. Mainly because we can't afford it. We have been spending some time together, watching movies, in the living room each on our computer talking while we do our FB stuff/games, etc.  The drought (after two months) finally ended :)

I am still working at the delivery job. I like it, but it has been very quiet lately.

We have been VERY strapped lately. I don't know if we have ever been this bad of a situation before. If I didn't have my delivery job, gas or groceries. Thankfully some friends and family have helped us out a bit.

As I have said before, I am into too many TV shows. I am loving 90 Day Fiance. I am loving that show.  I am also debating about starting on The Bachelor. I may get into Scandal, and Saving Hope. I got the first season of Scandal from the library.

I have been very stressed, and not really connecting with people IRL. I mean, I have, but not on normal basis. Or maybe I have. I don't know. I have been snapping at people that I normally wouldn't snap at. I do talk on the phone, and maybe more than usual, but I still don't feel like talking to people like I used to. I am keeping to myself, I guess is what I am saying. When I go to church, I haven't been staying around and talking like I normally do (although I did last week). I am loving being a hermit right now.

This isn't really news, but anyone still use IG or Pinterest anymore? I do, but not as often I used to.

Well, I guess that is the news that I am willing to share at the moment.

Five on Friday/Random 5 Friday

Happy Friday, Ya'll!!

1. New hair style.
I have been pinning my hair back a couple of times this week, and I gotta say, I love it. I have shoulder length and very thick (read hot and heavy) hair, so I usually put it up in a bun. Well, I decided that I was tired of that, so thought I would pin it back. I loved it. It didn't. get in the way like I thought it would. Love it, and I am going to be doing it more.

2. Magazines.
I got my Chatelaine magazine this week (Feb issue). I got my Canadian Living magazine the other week, and I have already read most of it. I also went to the library the other day, and among the 50 magazines that I took out, I also got the People and US magazines that I didn't buy. Love my library.

                                                                      Jan issue.

                                                                       Feb issue.

                                                                     Jan issue.

                                          Feb issue (this is the issue that came this week).

3. Starbucks' Caramel Flan Latte.
Oh.My.Goodness. Just typing this out makes me want to get one. They are so good. Loving it. It isn't even as sweet as one would think.

4. TrainStation.
Thanks to my hubby, I am a bit addicted to it. I don't play as much as hubby, but I still do love it. I have also made a few nice friends through this game, too, which is nice. If you play TS, please add me on FB:)

5. Job Prospects.
Not going to say much now, but there have been a few leads on some jobs. So, that makes me happy.

                                  Linking up with Darci, April, Christina;  & Natasha for Five on Friday!!!



                                                                 Random 5 Friday

1. I am looking forward to the Olympics. Yes, even though I don't play sports, I love to watch them. I love figure skating. This is the Olympics that we Canadians really shine at. Yes, will probably kick everyone's butt at hockey. Just sayin'. Is it SOEchi or SAWchi?

2. I hate this "Winter Break" that the TV shows are going on. At least Big Bang is still going, altho tonight it is a repeat. Boo. I miss my Grey's. Oh well.

3. Someone on FB has been reporting my pictures for N*dity and p0rn. I am not the only this has happened to, either. I think it has been going on with someone in the Y&R group. I left it, and then it happened again. Nice. Not much I can do. It is just annoying.

4. Award Shows/Oscar Noms.
I watched the GG;s. The People's Choice Awards (I watched that on PVR in an hour), and the SAG awards are on this Sunday. The Oscar Noms came out today. I love watching the Oscars. I was just on Twitter, and I guess the Critics Choice awards are on tonight.

5. I love, love, love our "warm" weather. At least we aren't in the deep freeze like the rest of the country and some of the US are.  At least I can go out without a huge jacket on. Lately, I have been going out with just a sweater.

5.1. My new plan of trying to eat healthier isn't going well. Part of it is because we don't have a lot money right new buy decent food;veggies and fruit. That being said, other than a Peps1 that I had yesterday, I had no sugar yesterday. That may not be said for today.

52. I think I am "into" far too many TV shows than should be allowed (or what is normal). I have started on a few new shows, plus there are a few that I want to start. Hubby wants to start watching Saving Hope. I keep hearing on how Scandal is. I am also watching 90 Day Fiance, 600 lb Life, and and tons more. Thank goodness for my PVR.

                                        Linking up Nancy for Random 5 Friday.