Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Burn Out/Exhaustion and Self Care

I don't know when it started...probably a few years ago...but I really began to notice that I needed a lot of downtime. I love people...and I love going out, but I also need my downtime. I am learning at (ahem!) my age that I am, that I can't be going out every night (or even more than two nights a week), and I don't always want to be around people. I think in part, it has to do with Anker not wanting to get out...but I also think it has to do with my last few jobs. They are all encompassing, then when I get home, I NEED to just relax and chill. I have recognized that I can't always be everywhere and do things for everyone. ***These first few sentences were done a week or so back...this next part is done on February 7, 2017*** I also am finding that I need to be alone. ALL alone! That part started around the time I was at my last job. I would come home, and collapse in our room, turn on the tv, and my laptop (or read magazines and listen to music), and shut the world out for awhile. I know this is a bad habit, especially when I am not even eating meals with Anker, and for that, I need to be better, however, for the other part (just being alone in general), I have no guilt whatsoever. Back when we had bad neighbours (both here and at our last place) where they would be noisy and have loud music, I would go out...to the mall, library, stores, and of course the coffee shop, and I would read magazines, and journal. Of course, I still do this, but I do this in our bedroom. I am finding that I need this recharge time. It is good for my soul. It is for the safety of others. It helps me in my job. I NEED this time. I used to be such a people person. I loved being out and about. I used to love being on the phone. Now, I would rather be alone, and I would rather text people. I sometimes would rather not have any noise (music or tv) in the background sometimes. I love spending time on my SM sites (FB, IG, PT), and generally, having alone time.

Some people need to always *be* doing something.I could no more do that than fly in the air. They need exercise (and yes, I should be walking more); they need to go bed early (I am a night-owl, but I am trying to get to sleep at a reasonable hour), and they need to eat healthy (and yes, I do try to eat somewhat healthy). Self care is different things to different people. I LOVE my alone/quiet time. I do love spending time with family (I LOVE my family, don't get me wrong), and I love going on outings with friends. I babysitting H, and I LOVE chatting with my friends/co-workers at school. I love going on a road trip with Anker, love spending time with him, but, I also know that I need my time alone. There are times when I know I should go and visit my friends, but I just don't feel like being with other people.

I RARELY go out during the week. I actually went out for the first time in forever (well, other than if you count either wknd evenings, a library evening, or meeting up with friends/family for coffee) yesterday, and I was exhausted, and when I did try to go to sleep at reasonable hour, I laid in bed until midnight. If I go out too much/get too involved in activities, I burn out. I know that self care is so important. Just because we don't have kids, it doesn't mean that I don't require self care. There are a lot of people at work who rarely go out during the week as well, as they say they are too tired. I am glad I am not the only one who requires a lot of downtime. Yes, that is also why I read magazines. I used to read books, but I haven't read books in a couple of years. But whether it's books or magazines, I need time to just decompress, and read fluff (which are usually found in my magazines). And yes, I do read my Bible and spend time God, though not nearly as much as I should. Anyway, where was I? Oh yes....back to recharge time :)

Please know that I ONLY sit in our bedroom and never chat with anyone, except at work. I DO get out, talk to people, etc. Anker and will spend time in the evenings and watch our shows together. But, what really feeds my soul, or at least, what really recharges me, is time alone. That is what keeps me from burning out.

How do YOU recharge your batteries?

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