Random-ness (And Floods and Fires)

 Y'all, I STILL can't seem to upload photos from my laptop to the blog. I am really upset. I think my laptop just needs be updated, or maybe I need a new one? I have even tried to allow pop-ups, and it still doesn't work, and I am sad. 

I am frustrated, sad, lonely, scared, mad, and even more frustrated. I see everyone's lives moving forward, and mine is not. It was, but then I messed it up. I haven't really cried since I left Anker the first time in January 2024. I think I am too numb and frustrated. Did I say that I was frustrated? I probably should journal more, which I haven't in the last few years. I used to journal weekly, or at least every couple of weeks, but in the last few years, I just haven't. 

Life is hard when you are nearly 50. Social media doesn't make it easy, either, with everyone's lives coming up "perfect". The perfect wife, mom, woman of God, employer, boss lady/babe. I feel stuck. And sad. And yes, I keep praying...keep listening. I don't feel qualified to do anything. I jokingly want to be a social media star (I have some links on my YouTube Channel (not sure why I can't see my videos on my laptop, but they show up on my phone), and I have 10 suscribers, and quite a few views, so that it is good :) I would love to be able to get paid to rant on YT or IG about things, and would love to get sponsored to try and use certain things. I want a job where I can travel (hello, Social Media Life is definitely for me!!), but on a more realistic level, I just want a job where I am respected and appreciated for my work and input. 

Anyway, I just feel really..at the end of my rope, to be honest. I have thought about doing a business of doing rides and respite for people in the city, but I don't think that that would be a sustainable way of life. I also think that it would be a lot of work, and money that I don't have to put out/up for it. 

So, basically, I am available for free/pd trips (business/first class, even better!)!! I have passport, will travel! I always thought a trip that involved travelling would be good (like a travel writer/blogger).

What does an almost-50-childless-single-ish lady blog/video about? I feel that the only good thing I am good at is getting fired. Oh, and did I mention that I have a few hidden disabilities? Yah, that's cool, too. I have (most likely) Traumatic Brain Injuries from my many (at least 12, most likely more) cardiac arrests that I had when I was a baby. That's right, as if I don't have enough problems, I have that. I can't be on my feet for long periods of time, so a lot of retail jobs are out. I can't work at places like Starbucks or McDonald's, because that it is too much time on my feet, and not to mention I can't work in fast/chaotic work environments. Due to my TBI, I find that I don't operate as usual. I tend to not have a filter (though there are A LOT of things that I could say that I don't), and say things that I shouldn't, or that I don't need to say. I don't seem to retain things like I should. I actually think I was better at this in my early years. Maybe that is a part of aging? So, to sum up, I really am good at nothing, except getting fired, I have decided.

One thing that is kind of cool, is that I have started teaching at our Sunday school again, and I also have decided to take on Sunday school Coordinator. So, that should be fun :) My friend (and pastor's wife) and I went to organize the Sunday school room last Monday, and it was good to get out and do something productive and creative. Plus, a free coffee and fun visit didn't hurt, either!

Anker and I went to his Brain Injury Association picnic last Thursday, and we got shut down by the city, as they didn't have a permit, so that was fun. I don't know why they didn't get said permit beforehand, as they have done this for years before, but who knows? Anker and I went to our local ice cream shop and got ice cream and wandered around the park, and visited. Yes, we still do things together, and our relationship is strange. Oh, well. We also hung out yesterday (Sunday) after we went for lunch and we spent some time a couple of weeks ago, where we had a good talk about things. 

I am going to post this now, as this could random post could go on and on :) I started this at the end of June, and it is now July 14th, so I probably should post this before I never get to post it..or it gets too late to post it...lol. I hope that you are having a good summer, and enjoying all things that summer brings....

That being said...I probably should talk about the Floods down South. My heart breaks for everyone who has lost their kids and loved ones in the Camp Mystic (and area) flooding in TX. I cannot fathom that. You drop off your child at camp, and they should be alive when you pick them up. I think of my sister in the Philippines, where flash flooding is quite common, and it has happened a few times in the last few years. Whenever this happens, we are always scared or worried until we hear back from them that they are ok. I know there have been more floods in NC and NM. It's insane, and so scary (not to mention all of the fire that happened in LA in Jan). People are asking, "Where is God in all of this? Why didn't He protect the kids?". My answer is this..we live in a world of sin (and climate change). Unfortunately, things like this happen. This world is full of sin, heartache and sickness. I think God IS here in the midst. The kids' stories and lives (the ones who have lived and died), will live long after the news outlets have stopped talking about it (and they will be talking about it for a long time, I am sure). God is in their story (as He is in ours!!!), and I think His ultimate goal is for Him to be glorified and that He will play a bigger part in their stories than they ever will be! He wants the world to turn to Him, and my prayer is that someone will come to Him amidst all of this tragedy. He is the only One to turn to in our times of sorrow. Not cards, not crystals, not another god, not oils. I am thankful that this world is not our home!! 

Praying for TX, NM, and NC!!!

While there have not been a lot fires in BC (a few small fires, but nothing major...not that I have seen or heard, anyway, thank Jesus!), AB, SK, and MB have had major fires this spring and summer. I think that Manitoba has just had its second state of emergency in a month. It is scary out there. Stay safe, friends!

Again, I am thankful that this world is not our home. 

 

July 2025 (So far)

Well, I finally am able to upload photos. But, wow..what a pain. I had to download GC, which in turn means that I have to open up 3 windows before I can even access on my computer, as it doesn't seem to want to "stay" on my desktop. Then, in order to upload photos to Blogger, I can't seem to directly save them from FB (I don't upload them to the computer...I tried...my Android and my laptop don't play well together. Ugh), and THEN "download" them to my laptop. My goodness! And I don't want to use GC on everything, because, #old, and #passwords.

Anyway, I guess that is what I get for not blogging in nearly 3 years! HA! So, my July...how has it been? Well, it is has been mentally exhausting. I am **STILL** looking for work. I think God is up in Heaven, shaking His finger and head, going, "Girl, you are not seeing what I am putting in front of you." Eh, what can I do? LOL. 

July 1st (Canada Day), a friend and I went to Desert Hills. I have been back here for over 21 years, and I had not ever been there before. I think we will go back (or Anker and I might go back) in a couple of weeks or so, as there will be more produce there. It was nice to get out of town for a few hours. That evening, Anker and I went out and saw the fireworks. I thought that the place we had in mind was going to be a secret spot. I guess 30,000 people thought the same thing. It was still nice, and everyone was well-behaved. I found out later that Adam (K was away for 48 hours) and the boys were just down from us. It was nice to have a "proper" fireworks display after the drone disaster last year, and I don't think that we had had fireworks for years prior. The show was great, and I think everyone was thrilled!

Fireworks!!!!

Our weather has been up and down. We are very thankful for the rain (not a lot of fires, thank You, Lord), but we have had some hot days, which have been nice. I haven only had one "swim and sun" this summer, and it was barely sunny. I took J to the river (his choice) to swim, which he had a blast, and we had a good time.

I had J overnight one night (second time) earlier this month, and I looked after both boys for a couple of days. I went for lunch with a friend, and another friend and I went out for my belated bday lunch. The same friend (who I went to lunch with) and I went for a picnic lunch yesterday. We got stuff from 7-11, and we sat in a shaded area by the river. 

Embers Brewhouse

                                                                        Earl's

                                                 

We grabbed a post-lupper Drink at Starbucks :) I had an iced caramel Macchiato with Chocolate Cold Foam. Yum!

Last weekend (5th-6th), Adam asked me if I wanted to go on and adventure. I hesitated, then I said,"sure, why not?". We went to a lake that neither of us had been to, called Roche Lake. It was cool-ish, but the water was warm, which I was really surprised at. I hadn't planned on going paddling, but they "made" me go, I have paddled probably twice in my life. But it was fun, and we made some memories. I also decided to go and buy myself a life jacket. I will probably only wear it once or twice a year, but I have one now, so that is good! On Sunday, our church had its annual "Party in the Park", in which we join up with another church in a local park. We have a short service, and a BBQ. The weather was perfect, and it was a wonderful time.

I only got a few pics from the farm on Canada Day, but here is one of the best ones. I will take more next time I go. 

And that has been my July so far!! It has been a lot of up and down of emotions and situations, but I am thankful that God has and is will be ever-present in my life :)