I think it is because I don't feel like we have a nice (or clean) enough house, nice enough decorations, or nice enough....??? Part of it also is because we don't get a lot of company...and I don't spend a lot of time in the living room. I spend a good chunk of my time in our bedroom. I think if we had kids, we would tend to do it...also, part of it is b/c we grew up not putting up the tree until well into December. Since being on my own (and then getting married), I/we usually have put up the tree anywhere from mid-November, to early December. We also keep it up until well into January. One year, we decided to not put a tree up, and we put up a small table top tree, and a few decorations and lights, and we really enjoyed it. I am thinking that we might just put some decorations and some lights, and call it a day. Though, our tree is already up, so half our work is done for us, right?? We might put the tree in our bedroom, and then find a smaller tree for the living room. I know people who have a bunch of trees in their house. I think two for our house would be more than enough!
And then there is the shopping! Oh, the shopping! The people, the stores, the sights, the sounds...the traffic...the parking lots, driving through the ice and snow...the overstimulation of the senses! And the quest to get the perfect gift! Ugh! I used to really like it...and I DO..BUT, it is stressing me out more as I get older...maybe because we don't have a ton of money to spend on others. I hate that Christmas is SO commercialized! I doubt very much that Mary and Joe registered for their Baby at Babies R Us. Don't even get me started on Black Friday, Small Town Business Saturday, and Cyber Monday. Since when is everything about STUFF!!?? Yes, I love stuff! Don't get me wrong. But, guess what? That "stuff" costs money! We don't need STUFF!!! My IG, and Blogger were/are filled with Cyber Monday deals, and I could honestly care less. I do love gifts, they are my love language. I am not a huge one to volunteer, but I might decide to do some of that one year. Or, I might even give gifts of World Vision, or give gifts to/in the community in someone's name.
Then there is getting to your destination for Christmas. If you are close to where you will be staying..Yay! But most of the time, one has to go somewhere :) You gotta drive (in snow!), and worry if your car will make it...worry about the other drivers...and then you have to come back home!
It sounds like I am a Scrooge, and I am really not. The problem is that I LOVE all these things...I love the light, the sounds, the decorations, the shopping (yes, I do), the music, seeing the kids in their costumes at their concerts. going to fun plays, drinking Christmas drinks, eating Christmas foods...the music, the movies, the Christmas parties, the dresses..the list goes on! But I feel that I am insignificant, and that I am not "enough" or "good enough" to get, do, and give these things. And also, that I am lazy! Ha! But, I also know that it is wrong to think that....b/c really, the person you are doing this all for is yourself, and God (well, I don't think He really cares about the decorating!!). And honestly, isn't the really the whole point?
1 comment:
Aw, I hope you’ll be able to enjoy it more soon, especially since I know how much it’s your favorite holiday too. Sometimes I’m just blah, but then the whole “Christmas season” hits all at once and I want everything to be Christmas. It hit the other day and I’m dying to be able to turn the calendar to December for the “snowy picture”. Lol. Even before we had Emily and we were in that horrible too small house for so long, I knew that for my own sake, I had to be excited and get a tree and decorate that little corner or I’d just be more blah and feel like I was missing out. One idea that my sister gave me when they didn’t have much money was to bake an assortment of cookies and put them in nice (cheap) bags and gave them as gifts and people really liked it. Unless family who live far away suddenly decend on us, I doubt we’ll be having to worry about doing gifts for anyone but each other and I bake my parents the apple pie as a gift.
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