Sufficient Grace

I posted this on my FB, and my IG, but I feel that this warrants a blog post :) I don't write about infertility very often anymore, b/c I feel that it can be like kicking a dead horse. It gets old. It gets boring. It gets depressing. But when I saw this on my YouVersion Infertility Bible plan, I decided that I had to share it, and then I decided to make this into a post. First off...here is what I wrote and shared originally, along with the photos:

Sufficient grace and infertility aren't usually what you hear together in one sentence. You might not have ever thought of it. I never really did. Until last night. I don't talk a ton about infertility on social media (here or IG/fb), but i do talk about it when i feel the need/desire to. 95% of the time, i am happy with our life. I get to work with kids each day, and i get to come home and relax and (usually) have a good night's rest. But sometimes, I get that sad feeling; a feeling that i am not enough, or not good enough. I get sad. I even get a little angry. Last night, i was feeling sad, and i decided to read one of my many reading plans on @youversion. I so needed to read that. God gives me grace to face the baby showers, the pregnancy and birth announcements, and the gender reveal parties/photos, and now, it seems, middle age (you read into that what you will). God gives me grace on those days. God will give grace to you, too. He's got this. He's got you! He is bigger than infertility. He is bigger than (y)our broken dreams. He is bigger than than those negative pregnancy tests. He is bigger than that failed adoption. He is bigger than your miscarriage. He sees your sadness with each holiday that rolls around, and all of the family photos on your newsfeed that comes with them He knows and sees your hurt and pain. He has you (me) in the palm of His hand. His plan is far bigger or greater than we ever hoped for, dreamed of, or imagined. 

There were a few more photos, but you get the general idea. I wasn't sure if I even wanted to share it. But I know that God is stronger than fear or judgement, so I knew that I had share it. 

Infertility is lonely, sad, and hard, but it can also be beautiful, amazing, and can make a person strong. It makes you grieve the impossible. It can make you dreams you never thought you had. It can bring you along side a person that you never thought you would have anything in common with. It can bring you anger, but it can also bring you joy.

But, I digress......Grace can get your through anything. God walks along side of you each and every day. He sees your hurt, your pain, your tears. He knows that probably for years, you have wanted to have dreamed to be a mom. He saw your pain when you were still single, and all of your friends were getting married, then having babies. He saw when you when you were told your diagnosis; he saw you when your significant other decided that they didn't want to go through with the adoption, or continue on with the IVF treatments. He saw you when your doctor told you that you really shouldn't even carry a baby. 

He sees you when your friends, acquaintances, nieces/nephews, and other young kids in your life ask if (or when you are) going to have kids. Then he sees you when they stop asking.  He sees you as you  are scrolling through your social media feeds, and see yet again, another family picture of kids at Thanksgiving, Halloween, Christmas or Easter, or Back to School.

I thank God every day that He gives me grace to get through the most difficult days. I thank God that He sees my hurt and my pain. He sees my joys, my tears, and my sorrows. He sees yours, too!