I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. I became addicted to it when I first joined, just after our wedding in 2007. I have honestly loved it; I love connecting with people, and finding my old school chums, and making new friends, etc. I played the games, changed along with FB (the sharing, of pictures, etc, the groups, pages, etc). I also have thought that being on FB is like being high school, and wanting to be the popular kid. Since I never went to high school, this has been a bit new for me. I am constantly amazed at how many of my "friends" can have 1000 likes and comments on statuses, pictures, etc. Every.single.one. Then there is me, who yes, I do get a few where a lot of people will comment, but that honestly hardly ever happens. I guess you have to be a mom to get that many?
There are a few people (long standing friends..or ones who I thought were friends) who I thought would at least connect with me via FB (comment, chat, msg, etc) that have only done that a few times. I am honestly very shocked. It isn't just about FB, either. They don't text me. They don't call. I mean, these are long standing friends. I am honestly tired of putting 100% into a friendship when I get nothing in return. This even has to do with some family members, which also ticks me off. I mean, hello...what is wrong with dropping me a text once in awhile?? To be fair, I did delete one of my (good) friends' cell numbers, but I have asked her for it again, but she hasn't given it to me. I am thisclose to deleting her. (to be fair, she did wish me happy birthday on my wall) I actually did delete about 50 people the other day; either people that I didn't know (well, or not at all), never connected with (at all), or both. I am sure that are more that on my current list that still fall into that category, but I didn't want to do it in haste; I have probably deleted too many already. I even deleted some distance relatives. I mean, who needs people on your list who don't want to connect with you. Now, I am not talking about calling (if we are phone friends) me every day, or even every month; or commenting and liking my stuff ALL the time. Or even messaging or chatting all the time. I know life is busy. I am not an idiot. But I mean, a few times a year wouldn't hurt, would it? Or even just responding to something (a msg, a post/comment on their wall) would be nice. I only call my mom, gramma, my cousin (who is one of my BFF's, btw), and my aunt. I call one or two friends, a few times a year...and of course, I do call my sisters, too..but we mainly have an ongoing texting relationship going:) When my family (from the ranch) do come into town, I don't (always) expect them to have coffee with me; I know they are busy with errands, and business stuff.
I have two friends who I grew up with; one lives in town (about 5 minutes away), and we NEVER see each other. I don't feel too bad, though, because she never connected with her brother and SIL (who is also my good friend..the one I still connect with) when they lived here. I wish we would get together even once a month for coffee or something..but again, I know we are busy. She has kids, and even though I don't, I seem to be always busy with something or tired. My other friend was the one I am thisclose to deleting. She was my MOH, and she has since moved to another province, and we never connect. EVER (and yes, she is on FB...not a lot, but she is on it..I see her posts). When she comes home to visit, she never calls or emails me to ask to get together. I think that is what hurts most of all. I can understand life taking over, etc, but to not even want to get together? And no, my knowing that they are there, and supposedly knowing that I have an open invitation to visit (in my mind) doesn't count. Yes, how can you tell I am upset about this? I have just been thinking about it a lot lately. Then, months will go by, and I won't let it bother me.
So, I guess what I am saying (or rather trying to), is that just because a person has 5K friends, it doesn't make you popular (or even a really good friend). I would rather have 100 good/close/online friends/family than 380 (my friend count as of right now); most of those who I never connect with. (actually, that isn't totally true...I probably only have about 100 of those who I don't really connect much with). Most of my friends are former gaming/online/blogging/and friends of friends friends. I connect with my online friends more than I connect with my RL friends sometimes. Funny how that is, isn't it?
I really don't think I made any sense...but hey, I vented, and I think I got my point across:)
Going Backwards?
I had a few family members (not my immediate, in fact, they stood up for me) say that they figured I was going backwards, because I didn't take that job earlier this month. I am also back working at my job that I had before I went to school. In a way, yes maybe I am going backwards. On the whole, I don't think I am. I am waiting for the job that is right FOR ME. I have been in too many jobs in which I hated it, and I didn't want to get into that situation again. The job I turned down was (in my mind) a care aid position. If I wanted to be a care aid, I would have trained to be one, and got more money. If I wanted a job where I had to clean the house and their company car, I would have taken a cleaning job. Some of the job sounded good, and I am still hoping that I did the right thing by turning it down, but I think on the whole, I did the right thing; for me; for Anker and I. So, in a way, I think I actually went forward, by KNOWING that a job wasn't right (I didn't say not perfect, but not right), and I had the gumption to turn it down, so I am very proud of myself for doing what I felt was right. Yes, it may look like I am going backwards, but for the store job, it is very relaxing; something that I need right now, and I love all things Books, CDS, DVDS, etc (Christian or not). As for my old job, they called me back, which I think is a testament to my character, and of what they thought of me. I am only working there 2-3 evenings a wk, and so that I don't get myself back in a rut, I am limiting myself to work there FOR SURE until the end of summer, but probably before (they just now have hired someone, so that takes the pressure off a bit). Yes, I am back to looking for work, but honestly, who isn't? I have a few places (including the school board) that I will go to in mid-August to talk to them again about my working there, and dropping off another resume. I am confident that God has a place for me in this field; somewhere in this town. Or, if we have to, we may have to move, and I am ok with that.
Ok...the posts I want to do in the near future are
A Canada Day post (and a wknd recap)
A Healthy post (or rather, lack of)
Our Wedding Day post
A Magazine/Book post
A TV/Movie post
These next few are "maybe ones" or ones I can do all in combined posts.
A music/radio post (this I just thought up)
A hobby post
About me post
A cooking/baking post
Our Kitty
I have been at work for an hour, and NO ONE has come it...I think it is going to be a long day:) Am off to the ranch tonight...spent this morning packing and getting stuff ready (including my lunch for today). Looking forward to getting away for a much needed semi-rest:)
Happy Canada Day:)
I am also loving Instagram, Twitter, and of course, Pinterest. My new email addy is april.t.wainwright@gmail.com
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