Capture your Grief; Days 15,16,17, & 18

I want to finish this before I do my IG Photo a Day project;) I am trying:)

15. Wave Of Light: Today is October 15th Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Light a candle at 7pm to help create a continuous wave of light around the world for 24 hours. Photograph your light! Please remember to share your location for this day as well. Wishing you all a ton of love for this sacred day of remembrance.
 N/A

16. Seasons: Share what certain seasons or holidays mean to you now. What season did your baby die in? What season were they conceived/born in? Etc. Do you dread those seasons now? Are they more meaningful to you because of your baby?

 I was going to say N/A, but since we found out in Feb (see post below), I guess that February/winter has bit of a sad reminder to/in it.


17. Time: How long has it been since your baby died.

 We found out that Anker had/has no SA in Februrary 2012. These next two pics were the few pics that I actually took for this project:P)   02 (February) 12 (2012).

Feb 2013 was when I found that I shouldn't carry a baby (we were thinking of going the donor sperm route), when I went to my OB/GYN, and she told me what the Doctors at BCWCH told me (and my other doctors). It would be very risky to carry a baby. Yah. That wasn't a great day in my books.





18. Release: What do you want to let go of on this journey of grief? Is it fear? Guilt? Worry? Deep sadness? Regrets?

Anger/Surrender

I want to let go of the anger, and surrender to God.

The Sunshine Award!

I was nominated for the Sunshine Award! I feel so special. This is my second award for which I have nominated.

Sky-Ann nominated me for the Sunshine Award!

Here are the rules:

ONE

Include award logo in a post or on your blog.

TWO

Link to the person who nominated you.

THREE

Answer questions about yourself that the person who nominated you asks.

FOUR

Nominate bloggers to receive the award. (make sure to link your nominees to the post and comment on their blogs letting them know you have nominated them)

 My nominees are posted below as well as the questions I created for you lovely bloggers to answer.
Nancy
Jennifer
Brantley
 Jamie
Catherine

Here are the questions that were given to me....

1. Do you have a Christmas tradition? If so what is it?

Every year, our family (my parents, and whoever is there) gets up around 7, and has communion, and promises that they will do either a selfless act for someone (make siblings' bed for a month, help mom in the kitchen, take kids out (mom/dad) once a month) or something that will enhance our life; reading the Bible more, volunteering, etc. We have done it every year for 20 years. Dad reads the Christmas story/then resurrection story, and we have communion, and light a candle.

2. What is your holiday favorite beverage?

Eggnog and Christmas coffee.

3. What is something that you are thankful for?

My family and my health

4. What is one thing you can't leave the house without?

My phone. (yes, sad, I know. I am now "one of them".)

5. What is currently on you ipod or in your cd player?

I don't have an iPod. LOL. In my CD player in the car is Mariah Carey's Hereo CD. In our stereo at home, I have Casting Crown Christmas/Wow 2013/Third Day-Miracle/ Point of Grace, and one other one I can't remember.

6. What is something that we don't already know about you?

 Not sure...LOL. I found out yesterday that I have diabetic (foot) nerve pain.

7. If you are on Pinterest, what is it that you are pinning lately?

Christmas stuff...duh:)

8. If you could go on any reality show, which one would you choose and why?

The Amazing Race. I love to travel, and it looks like it would be fun.

9. What is your favorite social media, facebook, instagram, etc?

Facebook. I love IG and Twitter, too, though. But def FB.

10.What are you current favorite reads? (can be book, magazine, blogs, etc.)

People Magazine, US Weekly, well, pretty much any ladies/young womans/cooking mags. I am looking forward to reading The Christmas Candle as a short Christmas read soon (I already have it out of the library). The Help is one of my favourite reads.I actually may re-read it.

Ok...now my questions for/to my nominees:

1. What is your fav. holiday (christmas/bday/thanksgiving, etc) and Why?

2. Who is your fav. singer/band?

3. Who is your fav. actor/ress?

4. If you have/had a "girl crush", who would it be?

5. What is your fav. food?

6. Where do you live (State, and country only)?

7. What/who is your fav. blogger? (please provide link)

8. Are you a Cat or dog person?

9. What is your LEAST favourite house/yard chore?

10. If you could go somewhere for a month (all expenses paid), but you could only take one person, who would it be? Where would you go? (ok, that's two questions.

Please also join me and go to Sky-Ann's blog to congratulate her on her new baby GIRL!!

Capture Your Grief Project; Days 11, 12, 13 &14

Yes, I am STILL determined to finish this project:)

Day 11 Emotional Triggers: What triggers emotions associated with grief for you? Is it the weather? A scent? Photos? Places? Holidays? Words? Certain people?

There are a lot of emotional triggers that are associated with my grief with our infertility. Holidays, seeing pregnant ladies, and seeing pregnancy announcements, are the worst, I think. What kind of a picture could/should/would I post for this?

 

Day 12  Article: Have you read an article about grief that you would love to share with everyone? Maybe it is something from Still Standing Magazine or a blog post from your favourite blogger or writer. Please feel welcome to share who wrote the article and how the article resonated with you and also the direct link to the article if it is online.

N/A

Day 13 Book: Have you read a book about grief that helped you immensely in your journey of grief? Please feel welcome to share the book and links to where it can be purchased so others can find it.

The one book that we have partially read (we aren't a real "reading as a couple-couple"), is "When the Cradle is Empty. You can find the link to it here. I would love to buy it. It really is one of the best books about infertility that I have ever read.

Day 14 Family: What does you family look like now? Is it just yourself carrying your child’s heart in yours? Do you have other children? A partner? A pet? You may not have what society perceives as a family but we all know that just because you cannot see any children, that does not mean that they are not a part of your family.

We have one cat, KitKat. It is hubby's cat, and altho the cat is a bit of a pain, I really have grown fond of him. And of course, there are the two of us:)

Weekend Shenanigans/Tell Us Tuesday

Hello, Fellow Bloggers!

Yesterday was a bit of an odd day, so I didn't get time to blog. I hope you all had a lovely weekend.

Friday, I spent the morning relaxing, then went to run a few errands. I went to Starbucks armed with Christmas magazines from the library, and I enjoyed a nice hot drink, whilst reading:)

I came home and started cleaning our fridge. It took a couple of hours. I hate cleaning the fridge, but it looks so much better; both inside AND out! I had to rush out, as I was meeting a friend downtown for a ladies home business/craft fair evening. I had thought that it had started at 7, but I messed up on the time, and it started at 5 (I hate the 24hour clock! Thanks, FB!). In the end, we couldn't have left any earlier, anyway. We parked at her work, and walked a block to the craft fair, which was a bit of a disappointment, as we thought there would be more of a program, but I saw some ppl I knew, and it was fun to browse. We were hungry, and we went to McD's. The food and fellowship were really nice. I came home around 9 or so, and just hung out. I think I watched TV:)

Saturday, I had a nice sleep in, and FB'd, and watched TV (can't remember what I watched), and I made cookies for a friend (and for us, too). I made the gingerbread cookie dough, then I headed out to meet up with a bloggy/FB friend of mine. I forgot to take my camera, and I even forgot to take pictures of us on our phone! Oh well. We had a nice visit, and it was nice to meet her kiddies.

I ran errands, and came home and finished baking the cookies (hubby was sweet and started them), and I found some Diabetic Sugar Cookies on Pinterest. They turned out really well, despite my not having any brown sugar, no cake flour, and my corn syrup was one big lump, and I had to use honey instead. You can find the recipe here I visited my friend/neighbour, and we watched stuff on NF, and visited, and had cookies and eggnog/coffee.

Sunday, we had great plans on going to church, and then going to the SPCA Craft Fair, but hubby wasn't feeling well, and I didn't feel like going alone. So, we stayed home and watched movies:) I did manage to go the library (the downtown library is open on Sundays over the winter..love it), to pick up my holds. I grabbed a snack at McD's on the way home, and I came home and we watched the Grey Cup (CFL). I finished making cookies, made some icing, and iced some of the cookies, and went to visit my friend for a bit, then came home and watched Twilight, Breaking Dawn Pt 2.

I am meeting up with my boss today to give her back the keys for the store. I am also meeting up with mom and dad for a few minutes. Today is another kind of lazy day, but I am not complaining. I hope to have most of this house cleaned up by the wknd. Hubby is doing pretty well in/with his part. I am still waiting for sure to hear back from the job; re: a few things. I hope to know for sure by the end of the week.

TToT

Happy Sunday!!! This is a bit of an extension of my Five on Friday, because there were so many things this week that I am loving/thankful about/for.

So.

1. Capture you Grief Photography Project. 
Yes, I am so behind, I am ahead, but I am STILL determined to finish (or at least do more days) from this.

 2. FOJTTN Project.
I am determined to do this photography Christmas Project next month.

3. Blankets/Throws.
There is nothing quite like laying on the bed or couch with a throw or blanket watching TV, and/or cuddling with your hubby and pet:)

                                   I bought this red throw a couple of weeks ago. Love it.

                                          I bought this throw from Avon last year. Love it.
                                          And yes, the Canucks are our favourite NHL team.

4. All things Christmas.
Magazines, cups/mugs, solar characters in the car, socks, Christmas movies/commercials, lights/decorations, candles (I will be doing a TToT dedicated solely to Christmas), and drinks.
                                                    Starbucks Eggnog Latte...Yummy!

                                                     Christmas socks from Walmart.

                    These lil solar guys we got from the dollar store. Aren't they cute?

                  I got this towel, oven mitt and pot holder from the dollar store. They all match!

                            I started my first batch of Christmas baking last night. Yummy!

                                                            Christmas Coffee:)

                                                 Some of my Christmas Candles.

                                                           Christmas mugs.

I went to Starbucks to grab a White Chocolate Mocha (not a Christmas drink, but still good), and read up on my Christmas mags.

I have already started watching some Christmas movies:) A Christmas Carol, and a couple of TV movies:)

5. My hair colour.
I dyed it last Sunday, and I really do love it!!!

6. My Winter Boots.
Hubby got me some new boots for me at/for Christmas last year. Ones that I had been one wanting. You know, the ones that go over your calves; the really cool kind. Well, he was a sweetie, and got them for me, but they didn't fit. My legs were too fat for the boots. Well, I returned them, and I got some ones I really like.

                                      Yes, I have them on my stove for the picture. So sue me:)

7. Friends that give me tops like this one.
My neighbour gave me a few really nice tops the other day.

It's actually a summer one, but I really like it. I am one that never really revolves my wardrobe winter/summer. I don't wear pants or socks in the summer, and I usually wear more long sleeved tops and sweaters in the winter, but other than that, that is all I do.

8. My new purse (for only $8!!).

I don't know how I managed to forget this for/on FoF, as it was onhttp://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3282763559990974042#editor/target=post;postID=5841366719829623300e of my favs things of the week. I got this purse at Walmart for only $8! I had seen it a few weeks earlier for $12, but I really didn't know if I wanted it or could really afford it. When I went on Weds, I saw it for $8, and I HAD to buy it. Also, my wallet that I got a couple of years ago for my bday (from hubby) also kind of matches.

9. My FB App.
When I wrote about it on Friday, I was about to delete it, but it seems to have sort itself out, and it is working. I actually love it.

10. The warmer/cooler weather.
We were into the -20's (c). Now we in the -3C/5C. At least it doesn't make you want to move to Florida. I know it will get cold again, though.

  10.1. A week off btwn (I hope!!) jobs!
 Yah, it sucks financially, and it even gets a bit boring, but I DO love not having to be anywhere at a certain time; or having to go anywhere.  I am just enjoying watching tv/movies/dvds, and relaxing, Facebooking/blogging, etc. I am also trying to get our house cleaned up for Christmas, so that we can get our tree and more decos up.

That is all for this week! Have a great Sunday!

Five on Friday

 1. New Hair Colour
 I dyed my hair on Sunday. I love it!!! I used Avon Hair colour, #565.5.

2. Christmas Socks
I got some new Christmas Socks at Walmart the other day (and new undies..lol). I love 'em!!!

3. Bit Strips
This is the new App on FB. You make an avatar of yourself, and you make comics on post them on your wall. The jury is still out on whether I like them or not, but it is new, and I like new:)

4. FireFox
I had to upload this as my new search engine. I wasn't so sure I would like it, but I do:)

5. Skyping with BeBop
I Skyped with Bebop yesterday (albeit for a few mins). He is so sweet.  I miss him (and his mom and dad) so much!

5.1. Attacking our House
I had/have had enough of the mes that is our house. I (and hubby) attacked our house in cleanliness yesterday. We will (hopefully) do some more today. I love a clean house! We didn't do a lot, but what we did do was great!

5.2. Christmas, Christmas Everywhere!
Christmas is in the store. Christmas commercials, Christmas Movies. Christmas Drinks! Christmas Decorations! Love, Love, Love! We even got a Snowman Solar character for our car!

....and a few things that I am NOT loving this week....

1. The FB Mobile App.
I messed up everything (passwords, etc), on my laptop, which made FB on my phone mess up. So, I had to upload the FB app (I was just using it on thru thru the Net on my phone; I had uploaded it before, but it used up too much of my phone's memory, so I deleted it). Well, the first day it was ok, but now I can't upload pics, and it won't even upload (the newsfeed).

2. My (broken?) toe!
 I dropped something on it the other day. It hurts. Like Heck. I think I just cracked it. At any rate, it hurts.

3. The cold weather.
It is COLD for November in these parts! It it has gotten colder than this. Down to -22C. True Story. And we have snow.

4. Having to bring out the Winter Wear a couple of weeks early.
I usually don't bring it out until Dec 1. I was forced to pull everything out last night. That being said, at least I have cool boots to wear now (I got them last year for Christmas).

5. Waiting for to see if I have a job or not.
I am about 99% sure I have a job. I just have to wait for my Dr's office to open, so that I can get a Medical Clearance Form, so that I can start.

5.1. Having only $20 until Payday (6 days away).
Perhaps I shouldn't have bought new sock and undies???:)

...and just because I can...here are are a few more of my loves this week...

1. Duck Dynasty!
These guys are hilarious! Anker and I have started watching them, and we always laugh at every episode!

2. I am getting BOTH of my Canadian Living and my Chatelaine mags now.

                                                         November and December CL.
I love these magazines. I didn't think I was going to get Novembers Issue of Chat. but I got it the other day..now am just waiting for/on December's.

...and that is all for this week!

Thursday Randoms (in the form of letters).

I have seen Friday's Letters floating around, and I thought I would try to for today...I have a lot of random things floating around in my head, so I thought I would so a post this way...

Dear Oxford Dictionary:
Do you really think that "Selfie" needed to the the Word of Year? I think it should have been "Twerking". Just sayin'.

Dear Duck Dynasty:
Thank you for being our new favourite show. We both laugh at every single episode.

Dear Snow, Wind, Ice and cold weather:
Thank you for coming early. None of us are prepared for the cold weather. I also have to get out my winter stuff early. That being said, at least Christmas has now come to our house. And I am loving the candles I have out.

Dear Rob Ford:
Could you please do all of us a favour and just step down? Trust me, you would gain more respect from us than if you continue on.

Dear Smoothie Ingredients:
Oh how I love when I have all of you in my kitchen. You make breakfast a bit more easy.

Dear Facebook App:
I am not sure I like you anymore. I have had to re-add you, since I was having problems getting on FB through the internet on my phone. You have change. I can't seem to upload pics anymore. We may have to break up.

Dear Avon Ceramic Measuring Cups:
You sure do pack a mean punch if landing on my toes.

Dear the Gap:
Thank you for still allowing me to fit into your clothes. Thank you for coming to our town.

Dear Santa:
Would it be possible to send your elves to clean up our house, so that it will be Christmas-tree ready.

Dear Trainstation (game on FB):
I am not sure if I like you yet. Hubby plays it, so I wanted to try it out for him...the jury is still out on this one.

Dear Blood Glucose Sugar:
I don't understand you. When I eat sugar, I have low BgS, and when I don't have much, I have a higher reading. I don't get it.

Dear Starbucks:
I love your GBL this year. Yummy!

Dear Jobs that I have Applied For:
Please let me know ASAP if I have a job with your organization. I need some cash. Preferably by Nov 29th. The payment for my Student Loan starts at the end of the month.

Dear People Magazine:
You got it wrong (again) this year.  I do not agree with your choice this year. Adam Levine as SMA? You could have done way better!

Weeknd Shenanigans/Misc Monday

I hope everyone had a great weekend. Mine was pretty swell.
Linking up again with Sami for WS, and Carissa for MM.

Let's get started!

Friday, I spent the morning relaxing and watching TV:)   I watched Killing Kennedy, which I had recorded the other night (the previous Sunday), and it was really good!!! I made my favourite drink of this season. It is even better that what Starbucks can make; Eggnog, hot chocolate (I will share the recipe that I used), coffee, Irish Cream Creamer, and cream. It is DELISH!!! I went out to get my flu shot, and ran some errands. I got our paychqs, and paid some bills. I went to DQ, as I was craving their onion rings. I looked through my mags, and then ran some more errands. Came home, and relaxed for the rest of the evening. We had supper (Anker made taco salad..yum!), and watched the news, and then watched "Twilight:Breaking Dawn PT1", which was...interesting. Anker went to bed, and I watched "Identity Thief", which was actually pretty good. I went to bed late. As usual.

Saturday, I slept and I met up with the girls for coffee at Starbucks. We had a nice visit, as usual. I made a quick trip to the library, then came home to meet up with a lady who was buying some Avon stock from me. Ended up relaxing and watching some Grey's Anatomy (I have three seasons, and I want to get more, but I have a few out of the library right now). I went off to meet a friend for coffee, at you guessed it, Starbucks:) (even I need a break from that place for a while!). Had a nice chat, and did some window shopping. Came home and ended up watching Gatsby (another good movie), and had leftovers.

Sunday, I went to church, thinking that I had to help with Sunday School, but I didn't need to in the end, so I joined in on the rest of the service. I grabbed McD's for lunch, and came home, and watched more GA. I also watched Blue Valentine, which was a very odd movie. I relaxed for the rest of the afternoon, and then I baked some brownies for the evening, and I went to my friends for a girls night. We watched TV (she has American Netflix), and ate a wonderful yummy soup! I am not a huge soup person, so when I meet a soup I love, well, I want to share it. She called it Taco Soup. We then dyed our hair. Let me tell you, if you have never dyed your hair at 11 pm on a Sunday night, you should!
I was having a shower at 11:30 pm, trying to wash out the dye from my hair (making sure the water ran clear). I love the new colour! I didn't end up taking up the brownies for the evening, as they weren't done by the time I left, so I kept them for Anker. They weren't quite done (we tasted some this morning) so we put it in the oven for another few more minutes, and I ended up icing it today.

Here are a few pictures from the wknd:

                                                       My Christmas Coffee ingredients.

 

                               My finished project. Yes, this morning was a PJ morning.

                                               My friends taco soup! It was very good!

                                                               My iced brownies.

This morning has been very quiet. I watched a couple of JFK Documentaries, and Amazing Race, and FB'd, and made some phone calls about appointments, jobs, etc. I rand out to do a few errands (after doing dishes), and came home and finished the Letters to Jackie Special. I was very moved by it, actually.

The hot chocolate powder recipe that I made on Friday turned out well. You can find the recipe here.

The brownie recipe is amazing (other than having to cook it longer that it states), and is seriously the EASIEST brownie recipe ever! I just  now found it on this blog. It is the same one as I made. It does call for walnuts, but I didn't have any, so I didn't put any in, and it tasted fine. The icing is from the same book, and very easy to make as well. It is even better if you have some coffee. My November Chatelaine issue came today. It has a yummy pizza on the cover, that I may try making. 

This nasty looking picture has been floating around the Net all day...

                                                         What do you think that is??