Why?

Our Worship/Young Adult Pastor and his family had a baby last week. A little boy. As I have said before, I won't be going to the shower. Well, even before she had had the baby, a lady in our church started through FB organizing meals for them. Now, I personally don't have a problem with it..I mean, when Mom had her 4 younger ones, our church pitched in, and we had meals delivered for probably a month. This is their second baby (their oldest is almost 3), and I think it is a good idea. Well, this lady asked me, and I should have not responded. To be honest, I am avoiding all things baby-related right now. Unless I absolutely have to, I won't be involved. Why? Because I need to be good to myself, and not let myself get weighed down and depressed. I did decide to participate. I don't know why...I mean, we don't even eat properly during the week, due to my work schedule, and I often don't have time to make meals for ourselves, let alone someone else. I think I may try and get out of it. Is that wrong? Maybe. I personally don't care. Maybe it's rude.

So, today, I was chatting with some ladies from our church, and I find out that the pastor has taken two weeks off! This perturbed me a bit. I mean, it would be one thing if they have 3 kids, and he was away working or something...but he is HOME..and they probably have their parents to help. Also, and I realise that you don't want to have a lot of ppl visiting right after you have a baby, but I saw pictures of some our friends at church (younger friends) visiting this family, and holding the baby. Why wasn't I asked to come over? She wasn't in church last week, either, apparently (but neither were we..lol).

I was (and still am, really) in a good mood this morning, but as we were talking about this..I started getting a bit upset about it..and just generally more quiet. I decided to leave, impart b/c I really did need to get going, as I have a ton of stuff to do today, but partly b/c I was a bit upset by the whole thing. I don't know why it gets me...I mean...babies are a pain, right? They cry, wet their pants, eat too much, and generally hinder life. So, why do I want one so much? And why do I have these feelings? Why can't I just let go?? I wish DH would go for counselling with me. He doesn't seem to have the same feelings I do about it. I know he is sad, but we don't talk about it much.

Well, enough grumping for today.

Have a great weekend!