Five on Friday

Happy Weekend, Friends. I don't know about you, but I am SO happy that the wknd is here!!!

Here are my fives for the week:

1) Our Car is Running Again!!
'Nuff said! I am VERY happy!!

2) Oreo Candy Cane Ice Cream
Y'all, I need this in my life, every day, every day!! My brother bought it for us when they were here, and it was soo good, that I bought another one. Yum!! 

3) Christmas Everything!!
 Eggnog, Christmas Drinks, Red Cups, Christmas Morning Tea, Christmas Eve Tea, Decorations, Christmas Movies.....have I missed anything? Stash Tea has some pretty yummy Christmas teas out there, and I bought the Christmas Eve one the other day...Yum!!!

4) A Short Work Week
We have a day and a half off this week. Yay!!!

5) This Recipe

Ok, so it didn't EXACTLY turn out like the picture (I burnt it...lol), but it tasted REALLY good..well, ok, it tasted good..ha! And it was the first meal that I had made in, well, too long.

That's all for this Friday!!!

Five On Friday

I am linking up two weeks in a row!!! I remember when I did it every week...maybe I will try to get back into it...you never know!

Here are my five faves this week.

1) A Sense of Humour.

In case you haven't read my posts on our car (you can catch up here), you won't know that our car is having problems. Yes, STILL!!! Ughm! It is at the shop until Monday or Tuesday. At least we have a sense of humour about it.

2) Christmas Craft Fairs

Ok, I haven't gone to any yet, but I hope to start going once we have our car back and some money to spend. Ha! I love this time of year, though. Our city comes to life!!

3) Remembrance Day/Long Weekend

Thank u to all of those who have fought/are fighting for our freedom. My Gr-Gr Uncle Jack, my Gr. Uncle Archie both faught in WW 1, and WW 2, respectively. My grandpa, tho didn't fight was on the Navy base in Esquilmalt. My Gr-Gr. Uncle was wounded in Vimy Ridge, and killed in Ypres. My late Father-in-Law helped in the Danish Underground. There are no words to express on how grateful I am to those who have fought for our freedom; from violence, persecution, for peace, and for religion. A long wknd never hurts, either.

4) Christmas Drinks/Red Cups at Starbucks

Y'all...Christmas Drinks AND the fun, new red cups are baaaak!!! Love, Love, them!!

5) Google Docs

Guys, how did I live without them before? I have only used them once for something I had to do with school/work...but wow! Love, love them!!!

Bonus (because I can!)

Family and Friends.
 I Loooooove my work family!!! They are SO supportive, fun, and very encouraging! A friend took me to get my car (which turned out not be fixed), and a couple of other friends have taken me to work. And another co-worker, when I told her what happened, told me to call her if I find myself in that situation again, to call her. And, I have no clue who, but someone put $75 down towards our car!!! My brother and SIL kind of surprised us yesterday, and said they were coming out this wknd. We have them until tonight for sure, then we don't know what their plans are. And another friend invited us to their house today for turkey dinner. We had to decline, as my brother and his wife are here, but it was sweet of them to ask. Also, tomorrow, my girls group from church is meeting up for our friends' birthday. And they are willing to pick me up.

So, there ya have it!!

A Comedy Of Errors

Oh boy.....all I can do right now is laugh! Our car is STILL having issues! If you read this post from a couple of weeks ago, you will know that we have been having problems with our car. We thought it was a battery issue, but when we had the batter tested, it was good. Last Thursday, Anker took it to a mechanic to have some diagnostics done on it, to see if it was the alternator. It was, so Anker was able to grab one, then he put it in himself (he was able to rig a charger to it, so that he could drive it for short periods of time). Last Friday morning, the car started ok, but seemed a bit off when I went to turn it on after work. I had a few errands that I was going to do, but I just wanted to come home. I was planning on heading up to my SIL's for a movie night, but even driving it a short distance, it sounded not right. I just stayed home most of last wknd. I finally decided to take it to a local shop that we have used before. On Tuesday, I limped it to the shop, with my SIL coming and picking me up. I called yesterday, and they said that the problem was the fan belt. I knew that there was part of the problem, but I still had a feeling that there was something else wrong.

As I was leaving work today, hubby calls to say that someone put half the money down towards the repair of the car, and that the guy didn't want the car sitting there all wknd (it's a long wknd here in Canada). So, I ask a co-worker if she could take me (she offered to drive me there on Tuesday) to pick up my car. I start the car up, and it STILL doesn't sound right! Now, I can give up easily on/at a lot of things...but this...THIS, I refused to! I call them (yes, from my cell phone, while I was still in their lot), and he comes out and takes a look, and realizes there this is most definitely a problem. He does some tests (after I start it again, and it doesn't start), and realized that the alternator we got was no good. So, I wait around (did I mention that I was cold??), for an hour, for him to look at it, the new alternator to arrive, etc. He puts in it....and it STILL doesn't sound right! He tells me the new alternator is faulty! He is going to order a new one, but it won't be here until Monday. So, I leave...and walk...and walk...8 FREAKING BLOCKS...in the cold...with a only a light hoodie on! Oh...and a HEAVY backpack of magazines and books. Then, I get to the transit exchange, where I miss, not one, not two, BUT THREE FREAKING buses! I sit, and wait..in the cold....! I then decided to grab my free drink from Starbucks, and a pizza from Shoppers Drug Mart on the way. I called my friend/co-worker/boss, as she wanted me to call her back about something....and I end up telling her what happened. She says to make me promise to call her if I am stuck in that kind of situation again, and she will either pick me up, or have someone else do it. Then, my co-worker texts me and asks me on if I am ok, and if I need a ride. I say, kinda...lol...I am at Starbucks drinking my Peppermint Mocha, so she picks me up..IN HER JAMMIES!!....and takes me home...and laughs at me while I tell her this story! In the meantime, I called Anker about 10 times to give him a play-by-play, and we are both laughing, groaning and frustrated about this hilarious on-going saga about our car!! I don't even want to know on how much this new bill will be on Tuesday! I told me friend/co-worker that God can stop stretching me any day!! Oh..and to top it off, I spent a lot of this week with Gr 7's!! Yes, another area in which God is stretching me!!!

Here's to a Long Weekend!!!

Struggling and Anxiety

I feel like things have been a bit stressful for us these last few weeks. Please don't get me wrong...I am very happy with life for the most part. But there are things that have really gotten us down. A few weeks ago, our car started giving out on us. I ended up taking it to a shop today (they are great!), and it is going to cost us $135. Now, yes, we are VERY thankful that it isn't a big price tag (for now! I am certain that there is something else wrong with it...the mechanic says no...lol), but for us, it might as well be $1,035.00, or $1300.00. We had to borrow the money from my parents to get the alternator (which was definitely part of the problem), so we will want to pay them back ASAP. We have a few bucks in savings, but that is getting depleted from using it for every day stuff, and some of the car repairs. If we lived closer to the centre of town (where I work, shop, etc), I would just say to heck with it, sell the car, and take the bus, but we are still fairly far out, and while I am never too proud to take the bus, it does impead my social life, etc. Not to mention that our church is up the hill, evening activities, etc. I am trying to sell some stuff on/in the bidding sites, but not much is going. When I re-applied to get my SL in RAP, it was too close to the end of the month, which didn't give them enough time to process the application; therefore, they took the full amount. It wasn't a lot, but was enough to give us some hardships.

 Then, the election happened last night. I was really down about it all evening...I actually couldn't even eat supper. Our really nice neighbours are probably moving out, and I hope we don't get any noisy, rude neighbours in their place. My laptop is on its last legs, so I will probably have to get a new one in the new year. And yes, I NEED a laptop! The phone just doesn't cut it most of the time. Then, we found out the former Associate Pastor is moving to the Island! We are very sad! Then, my mom got a bit sick, and though she will be be fine, it stressed us all out a bit. My mom NEVER gets sick!!! She is definitely on the mend, and back being as busy as ever! There are a couple more things that are giving me a bit of stress and anxiety, but I won't share them here. I know that at the end of the day, NONE of these stresses are a big deal, and God already has it, so I shouldn't even waste my time being stressed and anxious.

Yes, I know that's a lot of complaining, but I am just keeping it real, yo!! I AM very blessed, however. My co-workers are driving me to work, I am getting more exercise, as I am walking more; and I am spending less (no gas, no going out for coffee, runs to the drug store, etc)!!! By the end of this week, I will have either helped with, or been in every grade from Kindie to grade 7! Yes, I am with grade 6's and 7's! You can say that I am at 6's and 7's! Ha! Actually, it isn't as bad as I thought it was going to be! I know God is stretching me, which is always interesting!!! So, other than the car, and money issues, things are actually going pretty well. I am thankful for my job, my hubby, family and friends :)

What Infertility Feels and Looks Like

****I am partnering with Fertility Matters Canada to blog about topics surrounding infertility. I was hoping to get a new one out, but as usual, I have left it to the last minute, so I just haven't had the chance to do it. AND SO, since tomorrow is "my" day, I thought that I would combine a few posts (though it is a new one for/with them) that I had done up relating to infertility. I in no way get any compensation from doing this. I do it b/c I want to get the word about infertility out there. Head on over, and take a look!!****

 What does infertility look and feel like?

It knows no race, religion, or nor does it care whether you are rich or poor. It is lurking in the halls of your workplace, gym, school, and church...everywhere. It is the woman in the power business suit, the man biking in the park. The CEO of your company, the pastor of your church, the teacher at your local school. I could go on and on, but you get the idea. It doesn't care that you have bought 100's of dollars of pregnancy tests, prayed a million prayers, pleading with God to please, please give me a baby. It doesn't care that you have read the story of Hannah, Sarah, Elizabeth, and other women from the Bible who struggled to conceive, and finally got their baby, and you wishing that you would get yours. It doesn't care that you have cried a million tears, or (like me) if you don't cry, you still are upset and mad about the whole thing.

Each time you hear a pregnancy announcement, see a gender reveal picture (or go to a GR party), go to a baby shower, or see belly pictures, your heart hurts, and you die a little inside. Holding a baby can also be hard; some people don't even want to.  Each time a holiday comes around, and your news feed fills with pictures of kids and their costumes, Christmas pageant costumes, pictures of them in their Easter best, it makes you hurt a little. You refuse invitations to baby showers, and grin and bare it during a baby baptism/dedication. You stay away from and family functions on Mother's Day, and even Father's Day sometimes. You tend to even shy away from family events in general; birthday parties, dinners, and family reunions, because you are tired of fielding questions from people about when are you going to have a baby, and/or you may be upset when they DON'T ask! Or you may not want to sit through another evening or wknd of watching and hearing young kids, because it makes you sad.

Chances are, there are couples in your circle that are dealing with this. Even if they don't talk about it openly and outright.You don't see them crying at night. You don't see the hurt in their eyes every time there's a baby dedication or baptism at church, the agony of going (or not going) to a baby shower, the sadness that each holiday brings. And don't let the fact the IF they have adopted fool you; yes, they have had a baby, but they still struggle with those thoughts and feelings. Believe me. It may not be as prevalent, or as near the surface (or maybe it is), but it is there. Adoption is no easy task, either, and I am not just financially. It's a whole other gambit of feelings...feelings I don't even know exist.

Infertility looks and feels different to each person it affects. And yet, it is the same for SO MANY of us!! For some, it is the constant lonely nights, knowing that you will never have your own (or adopt, foster, etc) child. For others, it is the constant financial strain; wondering where you are going to come up with the next few thousand dollars for another round of IVF (or IUI, etc). For others still, it is the constant hormonal strain with putting all those shots of hormones into you (ooooh, the shots!!!) to prepare your body FOR IVF, etc. Depending on "what" the culprit of your infertility is, one or both spouses are angry with the other, or angry with yourself, as you are unable to provide you both with a baby. You may have resentment towards each other. Others are angry at God. Trust me, whatever it feels or looks like, it isn't pretty.

It is another day of frustration when, people in your life say you shouldn't be grieving, or you should be "getting over it", or they really they don't understand what you are going through, and they don't know what to say. It is another day of sadness when someone asks you if you have kids, and you have to say no. It is another day of hopelessness when you pass by the baby (or even young child) section of the store, and knowing that you will probably never be able to buy something for your own little one. It is another day of wistfulness when you see a baby/pregnancy test/diaper commercial on T.V. It is another day of worry, when you have no idea on who will look after you in your old age. It is another day of restlessness, when you realize that you are being "left behind"; all your friends are having kids...heck having GRANDKIDS!!..and you are over in your corner, going..."here's my dog"! Seriously, though...you do get the feeling that you are being left behind. Another day goes by, and you wonder what is wrong with you; why aren't you a mother? Would I be a bad mother? Am I not good enough? Smart enough? Pretty enough?

Those are only some of the feelings and looks that go along with infertility. We need to stop feeling that way. We need to stop beating ourselves up. We need to give it over to God, who gives life in the first place. We need to have good friends and family that we can rely on. Find an outlet. Get a hobby. Get a job if you don't have one. Be an advocate for infertility.

Infertility isn't easy. It isn't pretty. It is messy. In its own way, however, it can be beautiful.

For those of use who are struggling...

Be kind to yourself.

Don't go to Baby showers if you don't want to.

Let yourself grieve.

Don't isolate yourself...

...but allow yourself to stay home if needed.

Don't feel the need to explain your thoughts and feelings.

...There are so many more I can post...but you get the idea...

For those who know someone who is struggling...

Let them grieve.

Don't pressure them to go to baby showers, etc...

..but don't presume they don't want to go, either. Invite them...they will go, or not go.

Don't ignore them (as in don't not invite them out, etc).

Don't automatically ask about adoption or fostering. It's not for everyone.

Don't spend all the time talking about your kids, and "mommy" things.

..again, there are so many more I could write, but those are a few .

So, there you have, folks! Just a few things that are going around in my head about this very sensitive and personal subject. It still needs to be more, and I don't even know on how/what it would look like.

Friday Favourites

Hiya!!! I am still around...despite not posting much :) I just been busy, and lazy, and not really feeling much like blogging, but have no fear...I am here today!!

I haven't done a FOF lately...so, I thought I would join up this week.

First off, though, I want to talk about what happened at/in Abbotsford Senior Secondary this week. You may or may not know that two teens where stabbed this last wk. One of them has died. My heart broke when I heard this. I cannot believe that this happened (I also can't believe that there is a VIDEO showing the stabbing...I am SO GLAD that CBC has chosen not to post it!)....I was shocked and angry. This is another needless, senseless tragedy that has yet happened in yet ANOTHER school I tend to think that this stuff doesn't happen in Canada, but of course, we all know that it does. This has hit home even more, as I now work in a school. I tend to think (as we all "should"), that our schools are safe...for kids, teachers, support staff and parents. But sad to say, that they are not...this makes me very angry. My heart goes out to the girls, and their families. ***I was just on another bloggers website, and I found out that the girl who died went to their church.***

Here are some of my faves this week.

1) Coconut Clusters:

I found these bad boys at Costco a couple of weeks ago, and they are VERY good!! And, they are organic, so that makes them healthy, right?

2) This is Us:

I swore I wouldn't get into a new show this season, but when I saw on how everyone said good it was, not to mention on how well the previews looked, I had to try it...and it really is good! I love it!!! Anker even got into it. And yes, it took me two episodes to understand that they were the same family, but two different eras. Hubby had to explain it to me. Justin Hartley, who played Adam on Y&R is on it, so that definitely makes it worth watching!!!

3) Eggnog/Christmas Movies:

Two words: Eggnog Lattes! I had one today (thanks for my free drink, Starbucks!), and it actually wasn't as good as they normally are....buuut, it was still good. Eggnog is also back in stores...hubby has made me a of eggnog lattes already, and they were good!! I also watched my first Christmas movie last night. Please, no judging!!

4) Girls' Night Out!/Awesome Work Environment:

On Thursday night, one of the EA's hosted a Color By Amber that one of the teachers sells. She had already given me two items, which I really loved, and I wanted to host a party, so when one of my coworkers said she was hosting one, well, I definitely wanted to go!! I had SO MUCH FUN trying stuff on...and I didn't even buy anything!!! I hope to buy something sometime, but I just can't right now. Anyway, the evening was a ton of fun, we had drinks, food, and we tried on jewelry. We had such a fun evening. And, while we are on the subject of coworkers...I also want to say that I love my job! Everyone there is so positive and fun. It is such a great and positive work environment.

5) Hubby:

Anker has been pretty good at not losing it over the car. Yes, it still has been giving us grief. We got a new alternator, but it still has some issues. He has done great at doing his best working on the car. We will be busing it for awhile, until we get more money to get more parts. He has been really great at keeping it together. Me on the other hand, well, I had a cry last night.

6) Warm Weather:

It has been warm here the last few days...up to 19c the other day! We'll take it! That being said, tho...I did take out my winter jacket this last week.

7) More IG Filters:

I discovered about 10 more filters I never knew I had yesterday. I just had to check mark them to "download" them onto my IG account. It has opened up a whole new world for me!

8) Bank Mobile App:

I am probably the last person in North America (who has a screen-and not a flip-phone) to download their bank app. Mind.Blown.